Undone

Dear God what will happen! The world is coming to an end. I have ….

AN OPINION.

Its not unusual for people to have opinions. Just me. Quite frankly I think this kind of bullsh*t has gone far enough. You might think “Oh all the people who are using Obamacare are just mooching off of me” What a self righteous way of looking at it. Chances are you’re swilling shitty food just like the rest of the country (Yes I’m looking at you people who eat take out every day and then bitch about how other people are so fat). LOTS of people are taking advantage of this. MYSELF INCLUDED. Why? Because why shouldn’t I go to get my breasts examined for Breast cancer, get a pap smear done, have them check all my routine stuff, FOR FREE? now I realize it’s not really free, I’m paying for it with my taxes. And if you’re dumb enough to not TAKE ADVANTAGE of the things available to you then it’s your own fault for being a stuck up ass hole.
Did you know that if you have type one diabetes (NOT the kind you get from eating too many twinkies and staying stationary) that you USED TO not be able to be covered by insurance if your insurance dropped off? If Scott (my wonderful hard working husband) got fired somewhere, and couldn’t find a new job in one year’s time, then he’d be SOL for PRETTY MUCH the rest of his life. Most average people can BUY health care. Just Buy it. Call a health insurance company and get it. Do you know who they won’t cover? those people who are TERMINALLY ILL. Do you think that’s fair?

What I find EXTRA offensive about these people who are down on Obama Care is 1) They usually claim to be Christian (more on that in a moment) and 2) they BITCH about the money. A lot. Shut the front door Republicans. I’m not saying all republicans are rich, but I think we can all agree that all POLITICIANS are rich (at least the big wigs) and they can stop complaining about losing their money. They’re just out for number #1. Their pocket book.

And about them being Christian. WHAT THE HUG MAN! Matthew 25:32-40

32 And before him shall be gathered all ^anations: and he shall ^bseparate them one from another, as a ^cshepherd divideth his ^dsheep from the goats:

33 And he shall set the sheep on his ^aright hand, but the goats on the left.

34 Then shall the King say unto them on his ^aright hand, Come, ye ^bblessed of my Father, ^cinherit the ^dkingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:

35 For I was an ^ahungred, and ye ^bgave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a ^cstranger, and ye took me in:

36 Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye ^avisited me: I was in ^bprison, and ye came unto me.

37 Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?

38 When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?

39 Or when saw we thee ^asick, or in prison, and came unto thee?

40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have ^adone it unto one of the ^bleast of these my ^cbrethren, ye have done it unto me.

Some people might think you don’t need to give everything up for God. And those people are wrong. What do you think Monks are about? Any religion or culture, they’re giving it up, FOR GOD. They give everything to him. Not everyone can live that way, and I think that’s just fine, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do what you can. That means loving your neighbor (the republicans and democrats and EVERY-FLIPPIN-ONE) that means giving up your excess (and trust me you probably have MORE excess than you realize) to help those in need, That means taking care of the sick and the hungry.

I don’t understand how you can claim to be religious, and be a politician. It’s an oxymoron. You can love God, and love  your country. Or say, maybe you don’t believe in God. Lots of people now days don’t, and that is JUST FLIPPING fine by me. right? Do what you want. Just don’t shit on other people. What may not be important for you, may be important to someone else. Obamacare is important to me. It’s not just about Obama. It’s not about some Bi-partisan bull crap. it’s about working together to build a better tomorrow. I want a nation where people will take care of one another. Where I am not thinking about JUST what is best for me, that I am trying to think of what may be best for EVERYONE, and try to take alternative perspectives into view to understand why people may be upset or on their side. You can still believe what you do… just try to look outside of your box for what someone else might think about things. Whether you think it’s reasonable or not.

Derringer Meryl [Political Crap.] Out

Why don’t I?

(Warning, lite politics)

I work in a HEAVY political office. I don’t know why. I’m just lucky I guess. I’m like the athiest of political views. A well functioning government is like… the easter bunny, or Santa Claus. They don’t exist. (Sorry if that’s an FYI for you, SPOILER ALERT!)

I don’t believe in voting (anymore, I used to be hard core political in HS) because it’s a rigged game. I don’t need to play the rigged game  to know it’s rigged. I  can see it.

Also a word on the phrase Propaganda: Information, esp. of a biased or misleading nature, used to promote or publicize a particular political cause or point of view.

UM HELLO. Don’t tell me the “other side” is pushing propaganda and claim your side is WHOLY truthful. It’s not. Why? Because it’s a rigged game in which the more you lie, the more you win. Honesty, integrity, passion for your job, those are ALL SECONDARY. it’s about M-O-N-E-Y. Who pays the most, gets what they want. Why not? WE’re a consumerist nation, so why not have our government run that way too?

People say “educate yourself, and make good choices based on that education” 1) I’m not in school for a reason. I don’t like “Doing my homework” and trying to glean facts from propaganda smear articles. Everyone has an angle. There are NO facts. There is NO truth in the signal.

Why care? Why try? Do your best not playing the game.

When you’re looking for a new job and apply and no one gets back to you… That’s me not getting back to you. Please know it’s because I don’t want to tell you we’re not hiring and then find out the next day that we’re hiring, and I just mass emailed like 50 applicants that we’re not hiring, but then we are, so sorry for the confusion!

You know when you get a call about an interview and that person doesn’t call you back right away… That person is me. and it’s because for every one of “you” there are 50 other applicants that I am playing phone tag with as well. SO. That’s awesome. I’m not TRYING to ignore you. I’m trying to get as many people as I can in within my SMALL window of opportunity. It is small. I could make it bigger, but the people you MAY be working with, will suffer for it. The longer I make THEM suffer, the sooner I’ll have to hire again (because they will burn out and quit from being overworked)

You know how you hate playing phone tag? ME TOO. I’m sorry I’m not always at my desk. You may not know it, but when we’re hiring, WE’RE HIRING. So I’m not at my desk MOST of the day to take your call. I’m interviewing, I’m making copies, I’m usually in ANOTHER BUILDING entirely. Also, I loathe the phone. I know that seems weird, but it’s true. I can’t stand the phone. (Unless I”m being paid to use it) it’s an anxiety thing. I have become BETTER at the phone, and I sound BY FAR better, but inside I am a ball of anxiety,and that can take a lot out of a person. JUST FYI.

Also, If i called/emailed you once, please do not be belligerent because other people answered when i called them back, and now we’ve moved onto the second part of the interviewing process and you’re not part of that. SAD PANDA, be faster. If you want a new job, you need to be ON TOP OF IT. SERIOUSLY. I appreciate the “Call me around 10” thing, and I’ll do my best, but If I have an in person interview at 10, and a phone interview at 10… too bad. They win.

I appreciate people who are dedicated to their cause, but calling me 3 times, and emailing me 2x will not endear you to me. It won’t. So please, one message, I won’t forget. I may not call you back, If the position is full, I’ll email you. Sorry charlie.

Over all, I am that person you hate. Who says “we’ll get back to you on friday” and then doesn’t get back to you until next wednesday. and it’s not because I’m a jerk, it’s because I’m being optimistic in my internal projections, and I shouldn’t be. I HOPE to be back to you ASAP. I am not always due to internal issues. I may have a family emergency (God Forbid!) and need to bail. I promise, I AM NOT TRYING to be a jerk. It just turns out that way.

I’m having an alright day and didn’t get a coke zero. haha. Anyway. I don’t normally rant about work, but I felt like I needed to get that out there. I don’t like to be the “Evil” hiring person, but it happens, and I never thought about it before. I hope though that I can get this class running smoothly…

I am so sneezy and sniffly today I hope I didn’t get a cold from anyone. I can’t really afford any time off right now. So — here’s hoping! (I feel like that’s the motto of this week… “here’s hoping!”)

WE got our family pictures done this weekend. They are awesome. I need to drive up to Draper to pick up our CD (the original one did not contain all the images) so I’m excited for that. I need to pick up a few things at the store next paycheck. I especially want tos tart a private journal where I take a few minutes each day (or at least each week) to write down something awesome about my kids. I realize that even though i stare at their faces and think “I don’t ever want to forget THIS moment, RIGHT Now” I know I will. I have a fairly good memory, and I think I would be DEVASTATED to lose it. Not for the embarrassing reasons that you may think (Who wants to forget simple things like how to use the bathroom, how to walk, how to feed themselves, etc) but for the moments I hold dear. When my husband and I got married, the first time I saw my daughters on their ultrasounds. Hearing my kids call me Mommy, the squishy scrunched up “Mommy why your face green?” face my daughter is into right now.

I do try to relish the small moments. I worked at 10 hour day today, and It felt like I was holding my breath the entire time until i got home. I LOVE HOME. I always have. Home is where things are simple and easy. Where I make the rules, and I am held and cherished. (It’d be weird to have that at work) Everyone wants a hug, and a cuddle. Tell me about their day, tell me stories, engaged. I appreciate my job, VERY much because it feels like respite as much as coming home does sometimes– but after a long day of work– home just wraps you up and tucks you in, and settles you down. Is there anything better? I don’t think so.

Balance is key. It’s more tough in a job like mine, but I love making it work. I feel like life is like an Ouroboros. My work feeds my personal life, and my personal life feeds my work. It’s the best. I work because I love my family, and I want to give them the best. They want me to succeed and be happy, so i work hard at work. 🙂 It’s the BEST.

Now back to sleep, another 10 hour day awaits me.

Derringer Meryl [SAY WHAAA!] Out.

Usually the time immediately following a disneyland trip is… a downer.
Let’s face it, you just did something SUPER fun and now you’re going back to the grind and it is just kind of… depressing. Plus it’s february and Mother nature said “Oh hey, yeah, I forgot that it’s supposed to be winter!” and has started to dump a lot of snow around these parts. I was hoping to get away Scott free. (haha)

I guess the point I’m getting to here is that this time of year gets to me. There could be a lot of reasons. There are reasons I feel like I’m holding my breath like something bad is going to happen. There are reasons that I feel like Hiding in a closet until spring has sprung (may anyone? maybe june the way things are going?!)  Overall, people seem tense. Like If I had a million dollars I’d buy the world a massage (but you’ll have to spring for any happy endings yourself. I’m not that kind of girl.) so that we can all take a collective deep breath. People just always seem to find a reason to argue about something. It’s a mother huggin’ election year so– there’s that. Which (in addition to anything else you could argue about passionately, i despise) I hate. I hate politics, I hate discussing religion with people (even with people within my own faith) I hate talking about abortion, health care and a myriad of other other junk (LIKE MOTHER HUGGIN CELL PHONES, who the flip cares?!)
Contention (even in healthy debates or whatever you want to call them) makes me anxious. They make me feel like you’re being bated into an argument that you can’t win. Badgered and beaten into submission of glazing over and agreeing to escape like a verbal possum defense. I cannot ABIDE arguments. Which is weird since I do get into them, sometimes often with my trainees at work. I am a pretty chill person since I can’t take arguments really, or confrontation … but I will argue. Especially when I feel like i’m in the right. Shouting, or raising of voices aren’t to be done, Sarcasm is ok, most of the time, except for when people use it to mock you. General sarcasm (like talking to a lamp let’s say…) is much better than mocking someone directly to belittle them.

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!

These are a few of my most unfavorite things.

and it seems like this week is full of them. People taking things the wrong way ( all over, me included) and then you can’t undo what you did, because it’s the internet. And the things you say LIVE FOREVER in people’s minds, and on the waybackmachine. Tweets and facebook status’/comments can’t be undone. People remember, people hold on to it.

I agree there is a wealth, nay, a glut of OVER information. Who cares if someone got a coke zero and is having an ok day. SERIOUSLY. is that important?! For that matter, I don’t need to know that Newt Gingrich had an open marriage or whatever. I think I knew he was pretty scummy before that. Thanks though. I don’t want to know who anyone is sleeping with or what Mitt Romney (and what the hug kind of name is Mitt anyway?!) thinks about LDS baptisms for the dead, or that we apparently need to convince Stephenie Meyers to write her last book.

I DO NOT CARE. My brain filter is tired. My body is tired. It’s late. And I can’t take it.

PS: If anyone reads this and cares… My husband is awesome. he’s sweet and loving. He pretty much one handedly takes care of our kids and home. He took care of our kids on vacation like pro, without complaining ever. Helped with our friends kids, with a smile and ease. He is generous and has a big heart. Sometimes he has a big mouth (dare I say it? When he sees something that he doesn’t like, he has to say something) but I lov ehim for it. He also knows when to keep quiet. He is supportive, and I love him.

Derringer Meryl

I think it’s important to note, that I’m no Economical genius, but it seems that we’ve upset the economical circle of life, There are always going to be Oprah’s and Bill Gates’ and Steve Jobs’ who have a lot of money, but the middle class is disappearing. We are all becoming lower middle class. The wages we are being paid don’t cover the expenses we have. and it all feels like we’re downing in our own debt. Some people might say rightfully so. I know people who have been out of jobs for YEARS. Not for fun, Not because they are too picky about where they work, because everywhere they try to apply is saturated with applicants. People are “over qualified” or don’t have enough experience, and so only a select few can be hired.

I feel fortunate to never have been laid off, or out of a job. If I leave it’s because I choose to leave. Scott has been laid off, and it was the worst way EVER to wake up in the morning. the worst. We are fortunate that he found a job, and quickly with his current (and my current) employer. They treat us right, and are growing exponentally. We love it! We are lucky.

I am not an economic genius, but it doesn’t take much to see that the money that is supposed to be “trickling down” is NOT trickling at all. Statistically, the rich are getting richer. Should we punish them? No. Being successful at your job isn’t your “fault” per say. It’s not something to fault you for. Should you be forced to keep your income in the economic pool via taxes, yes.

Imagine, somehow, all of the fish in a stream were horded into a holding pen somewhere. Not allowed to swim around as they normally do… Everything that depends on the fish– is being punished, and could wither and die. Which is why in nature most animals don’t just eat one thing. They eat a variety of things. But economically, you pretty much just have cash. Moolah. You can have it in stocks, bonds, 401k, savings, checking, CD… blah blahblah. you can shape it and fold it any way you want, but it’s still money. it’s what we all need. It’s why we work, to get money to pay for bills, for vacations,f or clothes for food! Money makes the world go. There are people who are hoarding it. If a person is holding onto the majority of the nations wealth, it is detrimental to the economy. Sure we can print more money, but that just devalues it. There is only SO much money in the world, and the people who aren’t passing it on the way it is supposed to, are dicks.

Bam

Derringer Meryl [Sleepy time] Out