Undone

Dear God what will happen! The world is coming to an end. I have ….

AN OPINION.

Its not unusual for people to have opinions. Just me. Quite frankly I think this kind of bullsh*t has gone far enough. You might think “Oh all the people who are using Obamacare are just mooching off of me” What a self righteous way of looking at it. Chances are you’re swilling shitty food just like the rest of the country (Yes I’m looking at you people who eat take out every day and then bitch about how other people are so fat). LOTS of people are taking advantage of this. MYSELF INCLUDED. Why? Because why shouldn’t I go to get my breasts examined for Breast cancer, get a pap smear done, have them check all my routine stuff, FOR FREE? now I realize it’s not really free, I’m paying for it with my taxes. And if you’re dumb enough to not TAKE ADVANTAGE of the things available to you then it’s your own fault for being a stuck up ass hole.
Did you know that if you have type one diabetes (NOT the kind you get from eating too many twinkies and staying stationary) that you USED TO not be able to be covered by insurance if your insurance dropped off? If Scott (my wonderful hard working husband) got fired somewhere, and couldn’t find a new job in one year’s time, then he’d be SOL for PRETTY MUCH the rest of his life. Most average people can BUY health care. Just Buy it. Call a health insurance company and get it. Do you know who they won’t cover? those people who are TERMINALLY ILL. Do you think that’s fair?

What I find EXTRA offensive about these people who are down on Obama Care is 1) They usually claim to be Christian (more on that in a moment) and 2) they BITCH about the money. A lot. Shut the front door Republicans. I’m not saying all republicans are rich, but I think we can all agree that all POLITICIANS are rich (at least the big wigs) and they can stop complaining about losing their money. They’re just out for number #1. Their pocket book.

And about them being Christian. WHAT THE HUG MAN! Matthew 25:32-40

32 And before him shall be gathered all ^anations: and he shall ^bseparate them one from another, as a ^cshepherd divideth his ^dsheep from the goats:

33 And he shall set the sheep on his ^aright hand, but the goats on the left.

34 Then shall the King say unto them on his ^aright hand, Come, ye ^bblessed of my Father, ^cinherit the ^dkingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:

35 For I was an ^ahungred, and ye ^bgave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a ^cstranger, and ye took me in:

36 Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye ^avisited me: I was in ^bprison, and ye came unto me.

37 Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?

38 When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?

39 Or when saw we thee ^asick, or in prison, and came unto thee?

40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have ^adone it unto one of the ^bleast of these my ^cbrethren, ye have done it unto me.

Some people might think you don’t need to give everything up for God. And those people are wrong. What do you think Monks are about? Any religion or culture, they’re giving it up, FOR GOD. They give everything to him. Not everyone can live that way, and I think that’s just fine, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do what you can. That means loving your neighbor (the republicans and democrats and EVERY-FLIPPIN-ONE) that means giving up your excess (and trust me you probably have MORE excess than you realize) to help those in need, That means taking care of the sick and the hungry.

I don’t understand how you can claim to be religious, and be a politician. It’s an oxymoron. You can love God, and love  your country. Or say, maybe you don’t believe in God. Lots of people now days don’t, and that is JUST FLIPPING fine by me. right? Do what you want. Just don’t shit on other people. What may not be important for you, may be important to someone else. Obamacare is important to me. It’s not just about Obama. It’s not about some Bi-partisan bull crap. it’s about working together to build a better tomorrow. I want a nation where people will take care of one another. Where I am not thinking about JUST what is best for me, that I am trying to think of what may be best for EVERYONE, and try to take alternative perspectives into view to understand why people may be upset or on their side. You can still believe what you do… just try to look outside of your box for what someone else might think about things. Whether you think it’s reasonable or not.

Derringer Meryl [Political Crap.] Out

Why don’t I?

(Warning, lite politics)

I work in a HEAVY political office. I don’t know why. I’m just lucky I guess. I’m like the athiest of political views. A well functioning government is like… the easter bunny, or Santa Claus. They don’t exist. (Sorry if that’s an FYI for you, SPOILER ALERT!)

I don’t believe in voting (anymore, I used to be hard core political in HS) because it’s a rigged game. I don’t need to play the rigged game  to know it’s rigged. I  can see it.

Also a word on the phrase Propaganda: Information, esp. of a biased or misleading nature, used to promote or publicize a particular political cause or point of view.

UM HELLO. Don’t tell me the “other side” is pushing propaganda and claim your side is WHOLY truthful. It’s not. Why? Because it’s a rigged game in which the more you lie, the more you win. Honesty, integrity, passion for your job, those are ALL SECONDARY. it’s about M-O-N-E-Y. Who pays the most, gets what they want. Why not? WE’re a consumerist nation, so why not have our government run that way too?

People say “educate yourself, and make good choices based on that education” 1) I’m not in school for a reason. I don’t like “Doing my homework” and trying to glean facts from propaganda smear articles. Everyone has an angle. There are NO facts. There is NO truth in the signal.

Why care? Why try? Do your best not playing the game.

Voting. Every year I think about how I can recall for my entire life a few weeks before Election day, the Bishop in our ward would stand up and read the same letter to us from the First Presidency encouraging us (those who could) to vote and be educated on the matters on the ballot in our area. I believe our government (as it was set forth in the beginning) was a plan, and was given to us as a blessing by God. In a lot of ways, The government is a lot like modern day religion. Some things about it are true, and we should respect those things (like freedom of speech, religion, etc etc) but other things are a bastardization of the truth, that has been warped and twisted to suit someone’s needs. (C’mon. Don’t look at me like that. Have you ever looked into Catholicism? Cause honestly, you could buy your way into Heaven for a chunk of time there! I don’t think that was something God signed off on.) I think our government (even in the very beginnings) was as good as we could make it. Unfortunately, it’s gone down hill, and we (as a nation in entirety) has lost sight of what it’s like to not have our freedoms, and lost respect for what it is we have.

People say that you should get Educated and Vote. I have no time to get to the real and honest truth of politics. that would be like swimming to the bottom of the ocean just to find out that, guess what, it’s rock and in some portions lava and vents… and OH guess what you’re dead. It’s just a big waste of time. Voting is great. If I knew anything about what was going on, or had time to really pay attention to it, i would. I guess I should say then, the Idea of Voting Is great. Having each person’s vote heard and aired .. that’s a plan man! But it’s not how it is. Honestly, I dont’ have time to educate myself, then go vote, only to find out that If i were to hold contradictory believes to the state I live in, It wouldn’t even count for everything, especially in matters of the President. I have NO time for that. {hyperbole} But right now i’m kind of focusing on not screwing up my kids, not getting myself tossed out on my butt from my job… and overall just doing my best to hold it all together.{/hyperbole} So voting kind of goes into this nice little folder of “things I probably should do at some point in my life” Not unlike Visiting teaching, fulfilling my callings (or getting one, since I don’t think I have one) mowing my lawn regularly, doing laundry every day, making a sit down meal with my family, and about 2 million other things that fall under that heading.

Sorry If I sound a little bitter, but I’ve recently discovered after coming to the absolute brink of losing my mind that if you tote around a bag of “I should be doing this….” you’ll go mad. And I don’t mean the fun kind of mad that you can take to Thanksgiving dinner and have your grandchildren play practical jokes on your mind being lost… it’s the kind of mad where your outer shell goes hard, and you don’t feel anything anymore, and all you wish for is … to feel again. *sigh* It’s no good. I guess what I’m saying, in the long and short of it, is that voting just isn’t for me. I’m never going to feel satisfactorily educated on the matter. I cannot know the absolute truth on any issue, and so anything I do know would be, in some form or another, a lie.

—————-

Did I mention I never went back to therapy. It was costly. Also, I never felt like I got on the same wave length as my therapist. I felt like… Like he looked down on me? I guess? I don’t like when people assume they know me better than myself. I appreciate a new perspective on life and things, but just because you’ve gone to college doesn’t mean you know me better than I do. I’ve lived in my head for years now. I know what bugs me. I know what makes me tick. I absolutely LOATHE feeling controlled. there are people in my life whom I have yielded control and input on my actions to. Like my parents, my siblings, my friends and my husband. People whom I am close to. If I pay you to talk to me, you can RECOMMEND what I should do, you cannot TELL me what to do. I can tell YOU what I’ll do. I’ll tell you to jump in a lake. Jerk. Or I’ll passive aggressively not come back to therapy anymore. He had been warned though, I stopped going to my prior therapist because of her attempt to control me. I’ll admit I’ve made some STUNNINGLY stupid decisions in my life. But, they were my choices, and my mistakes to make. *yawn Yawn Yawn*

Christmas is coming. which means I need to crush and stifle my urges to be a bossy person. I am a bit of a control freak, it helps me maintain my sanity. Katie is enthralled with Christmas already. I hope she has a great time. i cannot wait for our Christmas traditions. I’m looking forward to having Christmas Eve off this year, and how relaxing that will be. I am lost on what to get the girls, and what to ask for myself. I am not good at thinking of what *I* may need, or want. I’m lost. I don’t think of myself often. If everyone wanted to pitch in together, and work out babysitting for me, 😉 that’d be great. haahah. It’d be fabulous to have my girls in day care or something. hopefully I can work out taking the girls to some place at somepoint this next year. They are getting too old and mischievous to be at home with Scott when he’s soooo tired! The only other things I w ant are: a membership to a gym (and my self control back) and another trip to Disneyland. I think people are baffled at my love for DL when there is WDW I could go to, but you can’t beat the original!! Plus I think I wouldn’t be happy in WDW, the humidity is too much!!

Derringer meryl [You could call me afro minnie] out