Undone

When you’re looking for a new job and apply and no one gets back to you… That’s me not getting back to you. Please know it’s because I don’t want to tell you we’re not hiring and then find out the next day that we’re hiring, and I just mass emailed like 50 applicants that we’re not hiring, but then we are, so sorry for the confusion!

You know when you get a call about an interview and that person doesn’t call you back right away… That person is me. and it’s because for every one of “you” there are 50 other applicants that I am playing phone tag with as well. SO. That’s awesome. I’m not TRYING to ignore you. I’m trying to get as many people as I can in within my SMALL window of opportunity. It is small. I could make it bigger, but the people you MAY be working with, will suffer for it. The longer I make THEM suffer, the sooner I’ll have to hire again (because they will burn out and quit from being overworked)

You know how you hate playing phone tag? ME TOO. I’m sorry I’m not always at my desk. You may not know it, but when we’re hiring, WE’RE HIRING. So I’m not at my desk MOST of the day to take your call. I’m interviewing, I’m making copies, I’m usually in ANOTHER BUILDING entirely. Also, I loathe the phone. I know that seems weird, but it’s true. I can’t stand the phone. (Unless I”m being paid to use it) it’s an anxiety thing. I have become BETTER at the phone, and I sound BY FAR better, but inside I am a ball of anxiety,and that can take a lot out of a person. JUST FYI.

Also, If i called/emailed you once, please do not be belligerent because other people answered when i called them back, and now we’ve moved onto the second part of the interviewing process and you’re not part of that. SAD PANDA, be faster. If you want a new job, you need to be ON TOP OF IT. SERIOUSLY. I appreciate the “Call me around 10” thing, and I’ll do my best, but If I have an in person interview at 10, and a phone interview at 10… too bad. They win.

I appreciate people who are dedicated to their cause, but calling me 3 times, and emailing me 2x will not endear you to me. It won’t. So please, one message, I won’t forget. I may not call you back, If the position is full, I’ll email you. Sorry charlie.

Over all, I am that person you hate. Who says “we’ll get back to you on friday” and then doesn’t get back to you until next wednesday. and it’s not because I’m a jerk, it’s because I’m being optimistic in my internal projections, and I shouldn’t be. I HOPE to be back to you ASAP. I am not always due to internal issues. I may have a family emergency (God Forbid!) and need to bail. I promise, I AM NOT TRYING to be a jerk. It just turns out that way.

I’m having an alright day and didn’t get a coke zero. haha. Anyway. I don’t normally rant about work, but I felt like I needed to get that out there. I don’t like to be the “Evil” hiring person, but it happens, and I never thought about it before. I hope though that I can get this class running smoothly…

I am so sneezy and sniffly today I hope I didn’t get a cold from anyone. I can’t really afford any time off right now. So — here’s hoping! (I feel like that’s the motto of this week… “here’s hoping!”)

WE got our family pictures done this weekend. They are awesome. I need to drive up to Draper to pick up our CD (the original one did not contain all the images) so I’m excited for that. I need to pick up a few things at the store next paycheck. I especially want tos tart a private journal where I take a few minutes each day (or at least each week) to write down something awesome about my kids. I realize that even though i stare at their faces and think “I don’t ever want to forget THIS moment, RIGHT Now” I know I will. I have a fairly good memory, and I think I would be DEVASTATED to lose it. Not for the embarrassing reasons that you may think (Who wants to forget simple things like how to use the bathroom, how to walk, how to feed themselves, etc) but for the moments I hold dear. When my husband and I got married, the first time I saw my daughters on their ultrasounds. Hearing my kids call me Mommy, the squishy scrunched up “Mommy why your face green?” face my daughter is into right now.

I do try to relish the small moments. I worked at 10 hour day today, and It felt like I was holding my breath the entire time until i got home. I LOVE HOME. I always have. Home is where things are simple and easy. Where I make the rules, and I am held and cherished. (It’d be weird to have that at work) Everyone wants a hug, and a cuddle. Tell me about their day, tell me stories, engaged. I appreciate my job, VERY much because it feels like respite as much as coming home does sometimes– but after a long day of work– home just wraps you up and tucks you in, and settles you down. Is there anything better? I don’t think so.

Balance is key. It’s more tough in a job like mine, but I love making it work. I feel like life is like an Ouroboros. My work feeds my personal life, and my personal life feeds my work. It’s the best. I work because I love my family, and I want to give them the best. They want me to succeed and be happy, so i work hard at work. 🙂 It’s the BEST.

Now back to sleep, another 10 hour day awaits me.

Derringer Meryl [SAY WHAAA!] Out.