Undone

Dear God what will happen! The world is coming to an end. I have ….

AN OPINION.

Its not unusual for people to have opinions. Just me. Quite frankly I think this kind of bullsh*t has gone far enough. You might think “Oh all the people who are using Obamacare are just mooching off of me” What a self righteous way of looking at it. Chances are you’re swilling shitty food just like the rest of the country (Yes I’m looking at you people who eat take out every day and then bitch about how other people are so fat). LOTS of people are taking advantage of this. MYSELF INCLUDED. Why? Because why shouldn’t I go to get my breasts examined for Breast cancer, get a pap smear done, have them check all my routine stuff, FOR FREE? now I realize it’s not really free, I’m paying for it with my taxes. And if you’re dumb enough to not TAKE ADVANTAGE of the things available to you then it’s your own fault for being a stuck up ass hole.
Did you know that if you have type one diabetes (NOT the kind you get from eating too many twinkies and staying stationary) that you USED TO not be able to be covered by insurance if your insurance dropped off? If Scott (my wonderful hard working husband) got fired somewhere, and couldn’t find a new job in one year’s time, then he’d be SOL for PRETTY MUCH the rest of his life. Most average people can BUY health care. Just Buy it. Call a health insurance company and get it. Do you know who they won’t cover? those people who are TERMINALLY ILL. Do you think that’s fair?

What I find EXTRA offensive about these people who are down on Obama Care is 1) They usually claim to be Christian (more on that in a moment) and 2) they BITCH about the money. A lot. Shut the front door Republicans. I’m not saying all republicans are rich, but I think we can all agree that all POLITICIANS are rich (at least the big wigs) and they can stop complaining about losing their money. They’re just out for number #1. Their pocket book.

And about them being Christian. WHAT THE HUG MAN! Matthew 25:32-40

32 And before him shall be gathered all ^anations: and he shall ^bseparate them one from another, as a ^cshepherd divideth his ^dsheep from the goats:

33 And he shall set the sheep on his ^aright hand, but the goats on the left.

34 Then shall the King say unto them on his ^aright hand, Come, ye ^bblessed of my Father, ^cinherit the ^dkingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:

35 For I was an ^ahungred, and ye ^bgave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a ^cstranger, and ye took me in:

36 Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye ^avisited me: I was in ^bprison, and ye came unto me.

37 Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?

38 When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?

39 Or when saw we thee ^asick, or in prison, and came unto thee?

40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have ^adone it unto one of the ^bleast of these my ^cbrethren, ye have done it unto me.

Some people might think you don’t need to give everything up for God. And those people are wrong. What do you think Monks are about? Any religion or culture, they’re giving it up, FOR GOD. They give everything to him. Not everyone can live that way, and I think that’s just fine, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do what you can. That means loving your neighbor (the republicans and democrats and EVERY-FLIPPIN-ONE) that means giving up your excess (and trust me you probably have MORE excess than you realize) to help those in need, That means taking care of the sick and the hungry.

I don’t understand how you can claim to be religious, and be a politician. It’s an oxymoron. You can love God, and love  your country. Or say, maybe you don’t believe in God. Lots of people now days don’t, and that is JUST FLIPPING fine by me. right? Do what you want. Just don’t shit on other people. What may not be important for you, may be important to someone else. Obamacare is important to me. It’s not just about Obama. It’s not about some Bi-partisan bull crap. it’s about working together to build a better tomorrow. I want a nation where people will take care of one another. Where I am not thinking about JUST what is best for me, that I am trying to think of what may be best for EVERYONE, and try to take alternative perspectives into view to understand why people may be upset or on their side. You can still believe what you do… just try to look outside of your box for what someone else might think about things. Whether you think it’s reasonable or not.

Derringer Meryl [Political Crap.] Out

And I’ll blog about God if I want to.

I tend to hesitate on this point, simply because I don’t like to stir controversy. But I have been in a dark place, and I feel like, my silence has been resonating in me. I didn’t feel like doing anything. AT ALL. Seriously. I kept thinking why wouldn’t this hole inside of me fill up. I kept putting things there, Finding a new way to put things there, like pounding a circle peg into a triangular hole. I just needed something. Thusly, I have gained back all of my weight lost (sad) from trying to shove food into an abyss in my soul that, frankly, food cannot fill. (Even if it is/was really yummy) I kept thinking (yes, here I go) that people always say they turn to God to help them with their burdens, help them ease their pain. and I felt angry. And stupid. Like “What am I doing wrong? I’ve been asking!! Why won’t he help me?”

And quite frankly, I don’t have an answer for that. Maybe I wasn’t humble enough. Maybe i needed to fall to a certain point so that i wouldn’t just keep doing what i was doing while he was helping me. i’m pretty damn sure God doesn’t endorse the whole “have your cake and eat it too” BS that a lot of people seem to think they can have.

anyway. if this is cryptic to you, don’t mind it. i have been depressed. it makes me increasingly cryptic.

so. finally tonight, after getting some really good advice (and sometimes it seems like the best advice you’ve heard like 30 times, but this time you’re actually listening) i sat down with Scott, and … really prayed. I hadn’t done that in a while. it’s bad, i know. But if this is news to you that i’m not perfect… well you probably should pay more attention to where you’re at. i’m not perfect, and guess what? THE EARTH IS ROUND!! HOLY CRAP!

Anyway. onward and upward. i am very happy right now. it’s not a crazy giddy happy. it’s a peaceful beautiful happy. it’s knowing that my family loves me. it’s knowing that my newest niece is at home resting in her crib, or at the very least at home with her family, where she belongs. it’s knowing that when i am down, there are people there who want to lift me up if i will let them. it’s knowing that when i come home there will be squeals and giggles and probably be stupid chores too– but it’ll be in my house, with my kids and my husband. i hope i never forget how lucky i am to have such a blessed life. i have a good steady job, with benefits. i have a great boss, who understands me, and listens to me. i have friends at work, who care about my well-being. i have SO much.

mostly… i have scott. who (like myself) isn’t perfect, but he is smart, and he is sweet in his own way (sometimes subtle). He works hard to take care of me, and our girls. he loves me the way i am. he forgives me my shortcomings (and insanity) and always remembers important dates. 🙂

i love my life

Derringer Meryl [you would too if it happened to you] out