Undone

So I just goo-ed on my private forums with my friends that I really … REALLY hate hiking. that really … could be bolded, and underlined. But I’m lazy. See? LAZY.

Anyway. Let’s review the history of Meryl and hiking. I went hiking once with Girl Scouts. I was a girl Scout. I sold cookies. I had a sash. It was adorable. HOWEVER, the hiking. not so much my friend. They said “ooh let’s go hiking” and I thought “ooh fun.” Because I was like 7 or maybe 8 at the time and I was down with the in crowd and enjoyed the thought of doing stuff outside. Why not?? Well, it had just finished raining, and it wasn’t really muddy, but it was slick. We decided to go down a rocky place, thinking “Oh this wouldn’t be so bad” And yes, we had leaders with us, who was thinking “Oh Meryl never gets hurt, let’s do this, what a fabulous idea” PISS! They were morons. Anyway. I have a bit of problems with heights. I always have. Also steep things. Not a fan. Steep equals falling to me. Scott can testify that I have argued with him about walking down STEEP hills. A Hill. As in grassy knoll outside of a local mall. Outright argument and fight about it. This is why…..

Anyway. we’re traversing, and we don’t even get that far from the cabin until I inevitably slip and fall and Cut my butt on the stupid sharp rocks. YES. Maybe this is a keen time to add that NO ONE I was with I was really close with. I had friends from School, but other wise… just me. So I had to have one of the leaders bandage my swiftly bleeding butt. Yep. Loved it.

OH and let’s not forget the time that I went hiking with our ward Youth conference. It was a pioneer Trek. And if you’ve never been forced to go, be happy. I wasn’t Unhappy about going, I was unhappy about the hiking. I am not a fast walker. I enjoy going at my pace, slow and steady. However, the people in my “family” wanted to race with the other hand carts, and they left me behind. (Thanks a lot jerks) Oh and they took my water too. In the middle of summer, in wyoming. Where there weren’t any trees or pleasant breezes. NADA. Just… really really warm. I’ve never been excellent at drinking water, i don’t like drinking it. I don’t know why. Maybe I hate myself a little. Anyway. One of our support trucks picked me up. Which was nice. I got in and the gentleman offered me water. being the staunch polite girl i was, I said no. I finally caught up with my “family” and we got to camp. No one but me (out of the kids) knew how to pump water. So I stood and did that for a good 40 minutes. Then, Sitting around, my brother and a close friend of mine noticed I was feeling ill and dragged me into the shade. Yep. I had good case of heat Stroke. Whoo whoo! I sat around for the evening vomiting what water i took in and being carted to the outhouse by the young men in my ward. EMBARRASSING!

The long and short of it is, I don’t like people saying “You have to do this, really, you should do this! It’ll be so amazing, you should hike!” blah blah blah. I’m fat. I’ve been fat for a long time. I don’t see that just magically changing (and shut your mouth with the “Maybe it would if you hiked!!”) so the idea of “Let’s walk 5 miles up and back to see something that you could probably download from your computer at home” I’m just not down with that. I like strolling. I prefer to do that alone. Hiking alone is a recipe for lost hiker. Basically it’s a moronic thing to do. I get sick in the sun now. Like at the drop of a hat. I prefer to stay inside. Any walking to be done, will be done on a tredmill. Thanks though.

Derringer Meryl [pow pow] Out

I’m sick of people who tell me that being a mom is stressful and I should just get used to not being able to relax.

Excuse my french, but that’s Bullshit.

It’s all about taking time for yourself, and having people care about you enough to allow you to take time for yourself. I admit it’s not something that I’m good at, and it’s not something  I’ve taken the time to do. But it’s important!! Otherwise you’ll end up and burned out like me!

Derringer Meryl [dont tell me] out

I keep thinking about recent events in my life, I will say this month (now it’s almost over) has really been one of the worst ever for me. Which considering good and happy things happened this month, makes it sad really. I’m quite happy that Pepper was born this month. Little pepper, and her cuteness. 🙂

People, in general, think they are special. This isn’t true, not really. I mean you’re unique, but even that uniqueness is not that unique since everyone else is unique too. But just because you’re unique doesn’t mean things won’t still happen to you in the same patented way they do to everyone else. I guess I’m saying, you’re not the exception, you’re the rule. Somehow people (and i include myself here) think “Sure, that’s how it was for someone else, but i”m going to be able to do this, and nothing bad will happen.” They stare the universe in the face and say “I’m going to do what I want, and this will be the outcome.” Which is funny. We think we get to chose what happens when we jump off a cliff, you’re not going to walk safely down like there are stairs, you’re going to fall dummy.

And some people stand on the edge of a cliff, knowing if they step out, that they will fall, and they will crash, and there will be pain… but they want to feel the fall. For some sort of rush… It can’t be explained. People think, that they can walk the line, walk a tight rope, and not fall to their deaths. And sure there are people who can. Most people are not those people.

this month, I learned (yet again) to not stare the universe in the face and tell it what to do. It won’t listen, and you’ll end up being taught that in a painful way. You can only choose your consequences by choosing your actions.
Derringer Meryl [I keep my eyes wide open all the time] Out

Stay Classy, Indeed

*cough* if you are currently pregnant and talking about the unfortunate issues that arise for some women during pregnancy, I highly suggest avoiding the above link in addition to the rest of this blog. I love you, dear pregnant women.

…. Seriously. Are you still reading… ? Ok.

that being said, I think you can tell where this is going, and if you aren’t like me, and want to argue about abortion/miscarriages, I suggest you take it somewhere else. This is my blog, and it is also going to stay CLASSY. 😉

I feel that no woman should ever have to make the decision to have an abortion, or a D&C, or has to get excited from seeing a positive pregnancy test only to find herself bleeding a few days later. Or to excitedly go to her doctors appointment only to hear the devastating “I’m sorry there’s no heartbeat, Your baby has ceased.” How Horrible. However, why should women have fear of having a miscarriage? Often (as my doctor told me) it is a natural process that your body goes through when the baby is unable to support it’s self. 🙁 It’s horrible. So emotional. Can you Imagine going through that, and then having to be investigated and recall what you had done for the past few weeks to determine if you had done anything intentionally or accidentally reckless that may have caused your miscarriage? How heart breaking!

I am pro-choice. Mostly because while I don’t believe in abortion myself, I feel that God wants us to have choices available to us.  I think that this should be a choice people have available to them without killing themselves too. I can’t explain it. I do believe very deeply in adoption as well, I think it’s a beautiful thing for one person to do for another.

What Utah is doing is just plain wrong. 🙁

Derringer Meryl [Some Times I just want out] Out

and other such nonsense.

I am 25 (haha, Old) and have hated valentines for a long time. I’m going to go ahead and say since the first grade where I got locked out of my parents house (with my brothers) and ate all my Valentines day candy and then threw up that evening due to the over abundance of sugar. I hate those little candy hearts and I hate the fake-ness of it all.

If your single, why would you want to have the happiness of everyone else SHOVED in your face, what better way than a holiday to point out that “hey you’re alone and single!” and if you’re dating someone who you aren’t loathed to be with (IE in a happy relationship that isn’t marriage) you get to crowd in with all the other people who are happy, or are pretending to be so on Valentines day at various restaurants and such, getting some commercial card, chocolates, flowers and if you’re really “lucky” jewelry that Tom Shane convinced your Significant other that they absolutely needed to have in order to make you happy. If you’re married, you either are newly married and fall into the category of most people who are dating, and if you have kids (like i do) you don’t want to go through the hassle of finding someone to watch them so you can crowd in with those people who are also celebrating said “holiday”. I much more prefer my romance and dates to be sporadic and not required.

. . . .

That’s not to say I wouldn’t appreciate something for onValentine’s day, but just as much as I might appreciate something any day of the year. Hopefully this weekend we can fit something in that will be fun.

In other news, I am sick again. I am hoping I am catching it in time that I don’t have to take as heavy duty of antibiotics again. Gosh.

Derringer Meryl [sick.] Out