Undone

From discussing Twilight. I really should.

Other than saying that, i don’t want to get into it. I forsee being more than potentially offensive.

I haven’t been as sick lately, I always think that and then the next mornign I hurl. The weird thing is I threw up yesterday. I have to blame all this vomiting on the baby, but mostly it hasn’t been so bad. I had some heavy things weighing on me, and I was struggling to talk to Scott about them, I finally did and felt way better. I always get down and feel horrific when i don’t talk to Scott about stuff. It’s just my body’s way of forcing me to communicate.

I”ve been trying to work on getting Katie less phobic of me leaving in the morning and at lunch. She really has been freaking out in the worst way. It’s hard for Scott (as her fits last forever and are very patience draining) and it’s hard on me, because I leave the house with the memory of my baby screaming her guts out about Mommy leaving. it’s been tough, but we’re working at it.

I drill Katie on words and names. Saying “drill” makes it sound bad. It’s a session of “can you say _______?” and then she’ll try to say it. So far she can say a lot of names. She can say Grandma and Grandpa, Mom and Dad, (from here on will be fake names, but 😉 she can say your real name if you’re on this list) Squirt, Sukie, The Specialist, The Ballerina, and Wudan. Crazy right? I asked her to say Dax, she just looked at me and went back to what she was doing, I think she might have been at the end of the game, because she wouldn’t say anything again. And a couple of times when I asked her to say Sukie, she said Squirt instead. LOL

Awesome. I’m having a pretty good day. Enjoying myself. I wish Scott was having just as good of a day as me. I need to get him a special treat for dealing with a horrific Katie all day. She has trashed the basement and has been throwing fits like HORRIBLE. I am calling him now to see if he needs anything. (Haha, Katie is screaming “SCOTT” at him. It’s adorable and horrible all at once.)

I will have to think of something awesome. Maybe I’ll pick up Katie from home and take her out so he can relax.

Derringer Meryl [darn Screaming babies] out

So. Having a birthday on a sunday sucks. SURE you’re almost pretty much (and very definately at my workplace) guarenteed the day off (YAY For that) but it’s a sunday, and if you’re religious and are in a fairly religious family and have fairly religious friends… well it sure makes the day kinda blow chunks. Scott got me some AWESOME geeky amigurumi patterns. I love researching and working on crochet. The odd thing. I don’t know how to crochet. I have stupid hands. I’m pretty handy at knitting, I just need to buckle down and figure this out. I want to make some cute things. PLUS, I have a lot of cute yarn to use. I would like to make a slime first. The look like this:

Also if we have a little boy I want to do his room with dragons and knights and such… I think it’ll be cute. One of the patterns he got me was for a little dragon, so i’m excited. Hopefully I can work on getting some of these done! 🙂 Cute!

DQ (who is living in our basement now, yay!) gave me a pudding of hers for a present, which she says is a crappy present, but I say, it’s not. I was pleased. Scott and DQ really let me have it easy yesterday … which was nice. I was doing my 24 hr urine collection. I have to say, not the funnest thing to do on your birthday, but life goes on. I just need to turn that in. We watched a lot of How I met your mother, my mom and my brother called to say Happy Birthday.  Then Scott’s family came over and baked a cake, and cooked dinner. I have to say Midori did a lot of work (as well as Lorna and Qwserty)  to make my birthday rock. We had pizza and a really yummy chocolate cake. Also Midori did a bunch of my dishes, which is awesome, because I was dreading them. It’s tough to get around to stuff like that, you know?

We had a good evening, and even played a little Monty Python Fluxx. I enjoyed it. Finally I was so flippin’ tired, I had to go to sleep. I drank a TON of water yesterday, I need to keep drinking because when I do go back to turn my sample in, i have to get blood drawn. 🙁 I hate getting blood drawn. But, it’s a fact of life, that when you get pregnant, they pump blood out of you like republicans pumping oil out of alaska. HAHAH!

Katie has been completely pacifier free for weeks now. I am shocked, and somtimes I miss it. Like when she is being loud and I need quiet time.  or if she’s being grumpy and I need her to nap. She had quite the melt down yesterday, and spilt a lot of juice and spaghetti. it wasn’t a big thing. She just needed a nap really bad. I’m thinking the rocking chair needs to go back upstairs for when I have the next baby, but at the same time I’m thinking, maybe I can find a new one to get on craigslist or something. I love rocking chairs…. by which I mean recliners that rock. Sometimes you need to put your feet up and relax, and other times it’s nice to rock.  Hopefully things work out. Anyway. I had a good birthday, thanks to everyone for all the well wishing. 🙂

Derringer Meryl [crochet, why I never!] out

So during the writers strike, my fav director Joss Whedon, got together with some actors, and wrote/composed a musical that is about 45 minutes long. It’s called Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog. Katie loves it. Katie and I have seen it so many times Scott hates when we watch it. I love watching her watch it. I wish it were a bit more child appropriate, but hey, I was happy for anything in the writer’s strike.

I’m going to discuss it in length. if you haven’t seen it, hit up hulu or click here. If you’d like to not be spoiled… well you should have stopped reading a while back, right?? Also you might think that the discussion of web produced mini series (a mini mini series…) is silly, retarded, or a waste of time…. I also invite these people to leave. Just pretend I haven’t written anything at all. And go play on digg for a couple of hours, you’ll feel better about yourself, and a bit worse about the future.

Scott says the ending to it is a cop-out ending. I say that after seeing a ton of batman cartoons and X-Men cartoons, I would say that evil guys get really evil after they have lost all hope.  Sure people are bad when they want to be, but when you have lost all of your hope– that seems to be (IMO) when people are their most dastardly. That’s why (GASP, SPOILER) It’s not Captain Hammer who dies (though i find interesting that he remains alive, but in a incapacitated state. It’s not like he’s in a coma either. He’s just weak. It’s like Billy/Dr. Horrible just made his Physicality match his his personality. His body now matches his soul… well not completely– he’s not ugly and small. But then again, who wants to see nathan fillion like that? not me that’s for dang sure.  But you will see, if you watch Dr. Horrible’s Sing a long Blog 2 million times like I have, that Penny is Hope. it’s fairly obvious in the second act during her duet that she is a light of hope to Billy (as seen later as well in the laundry Mat when she tells him “keep your head up Billy buddy”) as well as to others, she is the light in the universe that Whedon has created. What happens when you take out the light? Heros are weak, hope is gone, people who may have been teetering on the edge of goodness… lose faith. What Dr. Horrible/ Billy has missed is the Key that Penny gave him before dying. “Even in the Darkness/Every Color Can be found.” Even when she’s gone, hope isn’t lost, there is no reason to do what he does… but he’s gone over the edge.  Penny’s song in the Laundry Mat is all about how you can choose hope and light when crappy things happen to you.

So. You might be thinking at this point that this is WHY people have been saying (Mostly my husband) this show sucks!! I say that you need to examine the villianous tale a bit closer. Usually villian stories go a bit like this…. 1- Guy/Gal really wants something. Usually the improvement of some part of society. 2- Guy/Gal becomes very focused on this goal shutting out all else, loved ones, usually not leaving lab or office, really nose to the grindstone thing, not realizing they are hurting others by their singlemindedness. 3- Tragically loved one dies, is suspended in a living state but in a very particular way, irreperably damaged. 4- Guy/Gal realized they’ve screwed up BUT instead of making it better, they make it someone elses fault.

I have seen a lot of super hero’s and villian tales. I know. This is how it goes. What is so different about this, and why I like the ending is– Billy at the end confesses to his blog, that he won’t feel anything. In a sad way. He doesn’t feel happy at his accomplishment. His world is incomplete without Penny. There is no reason to succeed as a villian any longer, as there is no Penny to impress or woo. The point is mute. Instead of being angry at Capt. Hammer, or society for what has happened– Billy/Dr. Horrible correctly places blame. Penny is dead, because of him.

That is why I like Dr. Horrible’s Sing a Long Blog.

Derringer Meryl [Bed time] Out

Katie is in the back of my mom’s car asleep after a hard day of shopping and a snack of chex mix

we look like we’re in an expressionist painting. Left to right, Scott, Me, Katie (I’m holding her) Jam Jam, Lorna, and Midori. 🙂 It was FREEZING but we all wanted to see the lights anyway.  We had quite a bit of fun, except for when the annoying High School kids were singing songs that weren’t spiritual Christmas songs. IMO– I don’t want to hear rudolph the red nosed reindeer after coming off the emotional high of having my daughter watch the nativity story for the first time. Thanks a lot HIGH SCHOOL KIDS!!

Katie was nervous about being on the edge, but was having fun anyway. Midori was holding onto her, I hope Jam jam doesn’t mind, I cropped him out of the picture because of his expression, LOL.

This is by the reflecting pool downtown. I love this pool, it does GREAT pictures.

We tried to get Katie to look at the camera, but it didn’t work!!

The rest of the pictures are just me trying to be “artistic” or as artistic as you can be with a camera in your phone. they aren’t PERFECT, but hey, camera phone!

This was taken ON the reflecting pool, which is to say the image you’re seeing is the temple on the pool. You can actually see in the lower right hand corner the lights they float on the pool during winter. I looooooooove this picture.

This year they had a nativity on the pool in addition to the nativity they have next to the north visitor’s center. Really I think it’s great. I love nativities. This one was gorgeous. I wish I could take better pictures of it…. but I hope this at least inspires people in utah to go and see it!

More Nativity, I didn’t get any of this head on, but it was beautiful.

Beautiful! Don’t let my shotty camera work fool you, it’s crazy beautiful up there!

We had a very nice monday night, we actually started it off with dinner at Wendy’s. I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned it but Wendy’s is the MOST yummy place ever. Seriously I love Wendy’s the most when PG. I have this thing about Mayo when pregnant. I love it. I would probably (don’t read this jen!) eat a mayo sandwich and be giddy about it.

YUM!

Derringer Meryl [happy day] Out

Happy December everyone! I love december, quite certainly the best (and most stressful) month out of the year. I’m really excited though. I can’t wait for Christmas.

As for thanksgiving, my house is still a total wreck from it. Isn’t that sad? yeah I know it’s horrific. but to be quite frank, I could sleep 15 hours a day and feel tired still and Scott– well he’s absolutely amazing and needless to say extremely exhausted anyway.  It seems like every weekend has a plan or activity, So i don’t see our house improving soon. Except it has to. Maybe after my appointment on the 15th I can clean a little.  I have been wondering about going on some anxiety medication possibly as my anxiety levels are crazy through the roof about everything! I’m trying to do my best to stay calm, but sometimes I just can’t. I worry about ridiculous stuff, I worry about serious stuff. I worry all the time.

Katie has caught another cold, which is unfortunate, the most unfortunate thing about it is, her increasing bad attitude and her inability to use a pacifier while sleeping. So that means no one gets sleep around here but her, and when she is sleeping she’s making you hold her in an uncomfortable position. LOL! She’s wearing some 24 month clothes now. They’re a bit tall on her yet, but overall, I say a good fit. I”m glad that’s what I got her for Christmas Pj’s! whew!

Scott likes to play this “game” every Christmas to see if he can figure out everything under the tree I got him. 😛 What a jerk. Of course he did it this year because he logged into my work computer and checked my internet history!! what a jerk!! I like to be suprised. But apparently he doesn’t. I knew that already since his parents had to be so tricky about wrapping and hiding presents. I’ll admit it made me really sad when he knew everything he was getting because I had worked really hard to figure out something exciting and suprising to get him. 😛 Whatever. It didn’t work out. I told him next year I’m going to donate all of his money to Child’s play and let kids who really appreciate the stuff they get be excited.  In any case…. I’d return it all If I could and just tell him that’s what he gets (my family does stuff like this! We’re pretty bitter about SNOOPING and PEEKING)  but since it was ordered online, It’s really too much of a hassle to return it. 😛 Oh well.

We’re moving downstairs at work, for a few weeks while we get new cubicles. I’m sad to leave my desk as I love my window, and I unfortunately will not be near the windows downstairs… not like I am up here… Oh well. I feel much more cheerful looking outside. At least it’s just a few weeks, right? Hopefully.

I’m feeling weirdly optimistic today. Like life is ok. Which is odd for me. I’m usually fairly “realistic” or you could say pessimistic. So I’m feeling oddly good.

Derringer Meryl [happy day] out