Undone

So. Having a birthday on a sunday sucks. SURE you’re almost pretty much (and very definately at my workplace) guarenteed the day off (YAY For that) but it’s a sunday, and if you’re religious and are in a fairly religious family and have fairly religious friends… well it sure makes the day kinda blow chunks. Scott got me some AWESOME geeky amigurumi patterns. I love researching and working on crochet. The odd thing. I don’t know how to crochet. I have stupid hands. I’m pretty handy at knitting, I just need to buckle down and figure this out. I want to make some cute things. PLUS, I have a lot of cute yarn to use. I would like to make a slime first. The look like this:

Also if we have a little boy I want to do his room with dragons and knights and such… I think it’ll be cute. One of the patterns he got me was for a little dragon, so i’m excited. Hopefully I can work on getting some of these done! 🙂 Cute!

DQ (who is living in our basement now, yay!) gave me a pudding of hers for a present, which she says is a crappy present, but I say, it’s not. I was pleased. Scott and DQ really let me have it easy yesterday … which was nice. I was doing my 24 hr urine collection. I have to say, not the funnest thing to do on your birthday, but life goes on. I just need to turn that in. We watched a lot of How I met your mother, my mom and my brother called to say Happy Birthday.  Then Scott’s family came over and baked a cake, and cooked dinner. I have to say Midori did a lot of work (as well as Lorna and Qwserty)  to make my birthday rock. We had pizza and a really yummy chocolate cake. Also Midori did a bunch of my dishes, which is awesome, because I was dreading them. It’s tough to get around to stuff like that, you know?

We had a good evening, and even played a little Monty Python Fluxx. I enjoyed it. Finally I was so flippin’ tired, I had to go to sleep. I drank a TON of water yesterday, I need to keep drinking because when I do go back to turn my sample in, i have to get blood drawn. 🙁 I hate getting blood drawn. But, it’s a fact of life, that when you get pregnant, they pump blood out of you like republicans pumping oil out of alaska. HAHAH!

Katie has been completely pacifier free for weeks now. I am shocked, and somtimes I miss it. Like when she is being loud and I need quiet time.  or if she’s being grumpy and I need her to nap. She had quite the melt down yesterday, and spilt a lot of juice and spaghetti. it wasn’t a big thing. She just needed a nap really bad. I’m thinking the rocking chair needs to go back upstairs for when I have the next baby, but at the same time I’m thinking, maybe I can find a new one to get on craigslist or something. I love rocking chairs…. by which I mean recliners that rock. Sometimes you need to put your feet up and relax, and other times it’s nice to rock.  Hopefully things work out. Anyway. I had a good birthday, thanks to everyone for all the well wishing. 🙂

Derringer Meryl [crochet, why I never!] out

Alright, I suck. I forgot Red’s birthday. I’d like to claim the hubbub of getting married and what not got in my way and what not, but that’d just be a lame excuse.

I don’t know what day it is, I barely have a grasp of what month it is.

I thought it was at the end of the month. *shrugs at her own mistake* I can’t really comfortably call long distance from here.

Once again, excuses, I don’t feel like making them. I could be vindictive and angry and what not, but all of that seems very pointless when I dont’ really care about the past. It sucks, whatever.

But Red said it best, that we are different people now. Not that we aren’t friends anymore, I dont’ ever want to say that… We just aren’t who we were before…. It’s just the way things are. *shrugs*

Sorry if it sounds like i’m not sorry, because I am sorry. I’m sorry I missed Red’s birthday, and I’m sorry I’m so far away. I’m sorry I didnt’ get to go to Lagoon with you… I suck rocks, once again.

Derringer Meryl [so…] Out

*growls* I’m glad that there wasn’t any PESKY guilt or anything building up in RED’s brain about missing my birthday.

I mean, it’s not like it’s a special day, or like this is a special year or anything. It’s not like next year i’ll be out of my teens and i’ll have to be all responsible or anything. Mou. No. It’s NOTHING like that at all.

Yeah. Well, i’m sick of waiting around for her to get off her butt and decide to be my friend again.

One day out of the whole freakish year. She can screw me off the rest of the year. She can think of me as some kind of boorish whore, but my birthday, that’s my freakin’ day. MINE. *growls* and i don’t need this. I don’t need the guilty feeling when i nearly forget her birthday, and go all out anyway, and then get forgotten (second year in a row, ladies and gents) for a little boyfriend.

So you’re serious. Good for you. Huzzah. I hope you’re happy. *waves her hands* Not like …. *sighs*

and now i’m feeling guilty. I know Red is being pulled in twenty million different directions. I know she has a temp job, and she has school, and a real job, and a boyfriend, and a family, and two cute nephews…. and … ISSUES.

but then again– Sakura has a job, goes to a real college (just like Red does) has a family, and she has issues. She’s got her fingers in a bunch of different pies. JUST like Red. And HELL, i dont’ talk to her as much as I do Red– and she remembered my birthday, and even took five minutes out of work, and called. And I wasn’t asking for a damn surprise party, i was asking to be thought of.

and really, is that so much to ask? I mean– just a phone call, or something.

Mou. I guess I’m not worth the fifty cents it takes to call someone now.

Derringer Meryl [Yeah It Really Hurts] Out

Short Rant. Or maybe a long one, Who Knows.

Firstly. I know I whine about being lonely. And the obvious remedy would be to date people– right? Well you’re wrong. I can’t go out and find someone yet. No siree. I refuse to. Last time i was in a mind set like this, I ended up in an abusive relationship. After I got out of that, and waited a year and a half to start the next one– i was paranoid to the point i sabotaged the freakin’ thing. So… Yeah. I need to build my self confidence up before I get myself into dating.

But that doesn’t mean I can’t look. 🙂 Hee hee hee.

That’s not what is really bothering me though…

Today is my birthday. I got a resounding Chorus of “Happy Birthdays” When I went into work for a minute today– but it was only because I had called and ribbed Monkey about not knowing it was my Birthday…. despite the fact i emailed him about it being my birthday, and blogging about it, and what not… i wrote it on the schedule at work. *laughs* Poor Boy.

…. *grumbles* I got a phone call from my fellow Animegrrl, Sakura. She was at work, but remembered it was my birthday (or close to it, but she was smack dab on.) and so decided to call. That’s not the grumbly part. The grumbly part is that Red hasn’t called. Mou. She’s busy, i’m sure. I’d be all mopey about it…. but in the end, I’m probably overreacting. I mean… it’s not like I didn’t dote on her for her birthday, right??

*coughs* Fourty Bucks I wasted. Honest to Jesus.

Mou.

Derringer Meryl [All I ask is a fetching PHONE CALL] Out

Feels like i haven’t updated in years. Psh. Oh, and it’s only been a little while.

I went to work this morning expecting the day after Christmas rush, as I should, but the power was out, so… yeah… I did pretty much nothing all day. I was at work from like… eight-thirty till noon, just hanging out, as my brain slowly became… used to the gross things that Gert and the Mouth were saying.

They are not for repeating, ever. *shakes her head*

At least I don’t have to work the rest of the week– seeings as how I’m not scheduled, and … i’m kinda snowed in. Oh, but that won’t stop me from having a stripper for my birthday, damn straight.

Not really. I think i’d be frightened of a stripper, and I’d glue anything i hold near and dear down, so as to prevent them from taking a five fingered Discount. Heh. Sorry, i watched a Tru Calling where a stripper steals some stuff– and so ever since, i’ve been wary. Not to mention the idea of seeing someone nekkid…. Isn’t my idea of a good time. I’m more of the– “Watch a movie and eat pizza” type. Though, if it was with the right people, i wouldn’t mind a tickle fight, and shameless non-committal flirting. Heh. Right? How can you go wrong with that?

Okay, so i know a few ways you can go wrong with that– but– it’s okay. *feels a twinge of guilt and anger* Blah Go away.

What I do want for my birthday (cause i’m a shameless birthday ho, and i want presents. Because of the weather, i’m not getting anything from Family. They had no time to go out and get anything before the merciless weather hit) is a Berserk toy. (coughs) not that i expect it. But if someone just wanted to call and say Happy Birthday, and just say they were thinking of me on my special day, that would be alright too. I guess. 😀 Honestly, next time i go to work, i expect to get an Xbox game that was free to my manager, but he was too much of a ho-bag to distribute like he was supposed to, and is instead giving them as Christmas Presents. Mou.

Lets see. I have games to finish, a lesson to prepare, and a room that desperately needs to be cleaned….

I think i’m going to read some Fanfiction.

Derringer Meryl [Evil] Out