Undone

Stay Classy, Indeed

*cough* if you are currently pregnant and talking about the unfortunate issues that arise for some women during pregnancy, I highly suggest avoiding the above link in addition to the rest of this blog. I love you, dear pregnant women.

…. Seriously. Are you still reading… ? Ok.

that being said, I think you can tell where this is going, and if you aren’t like me, and want to argue about abortion/miscarriages, I suggest you take it somewhere else. This is my blog, and it is also going to stay CLASSY. 😉

I feel that no woman should ever have to make the decision to have an abortion, or a D&C, or has to get excited from seeing a positive pregnancy test only to find herself bleeding a few days later. Or to excitedly go to her doctors appointment only to hear the devastating “I’m sorry there’s no heartbeat, Your baby has ceased.” How Horrible. However, why should women have fear of having a miscarriage? Often (as my doctor told me) it is a natural process that your body goes through when the baby is unable to support it’s self. 🙁 It’s horrible. So emotional. Can you Imagine going through that, and then having to be investigated and recall what you had done for the past few weeks to determine if you had done anything intentionally or accidentally reckless that may have caused your miscarriage? How heart breaking!

I am pro-choice. Mostly because while I don’t believe in abortion myself, I feel that God wants us to have choices available to us.  I think that this should be a choice people have available to them without killing themselves too. I can’t explain it. I do believe very deeply in adoption as well, I think it’s a beautiful thing for one person to do for another.

What Utah is doing is just plain wrong. 🙁

Derringer Meryl [Some Times I just want out] Out

We are heading up to my parents house, and I feel oddly chatty. I am on my phone, so forgive any typos. I am feeling very up. Though I have forgotten to take meds today and yesterday.

I feel bouyant. Up. Maybe it is the mid morning nap I got thanks to scott and the girls. Everyone should get 13 hrs of sleep, I think.

Derringer Meryl out

I am the oldest continuous blog in my family now since the Specialist stopped blogging. Whoo. Been doing it since 2001 and I don’t see me stopping any time soon.  Mostly because I may not get much feed back from people but I enjoy writing and listening to myself “talk” which is why I do blog.

I have been trying to write in a personal journal too, which makes things hard. I started medication January 14 (wahoo) and have been trying to use my personal journal to monitor if it’s actually working. I feel like it is. Which feels good, but on the other hand it feels weird. I sometimes feel like I am still VERY anxious about things, however the rhyme and reason of it has been removed… for example, i think of it like a math equation 3+4=7 (obviously) however it’s harder to understand what’s going on when you just put 3 4 7 without any indicators of what’s going on. I suppose if you had one more number in there it could make a pattern… maybe 3 4 7 11… But I’m getting off topic here…. without the mathematical symbols to tell you what the numbers are doing, they become nonsensical. like my brain trying to be anxious on drugs….

Our disneyland vacation starts in 14 days, i am ecstatic.

also as of tuesday, Scott and i will have known each other 6 years! Amazing! i would say it seems like just yesterday, but it doesn’t. It feels like a lifetime ago. It’s also the same day that Dave passed away 5 years ago. it feels surreal.

Derringer Meryl [living backwards] out

and other such nonsense.

I am 25 (haha, Old) and have hated valentines for a long time. I’m going to go ahead and say since the first grade where I got locked out of my parents house (with my brothers) and ate all my Valentines day candy and then threw up that evening due to the over abundance of sugar. I hate those little candy hearts and I hate the fake-ness of it all.

If your single, why would you want to have the happiness of everyone else SHOVED in your face, what better way than a holiday to point out that “hey you’re alone and single!” and if you’re dating someone who you aren’t loathed to be with (IE in a happy relationship that isn’t marriage) you get to crowd in with all the other people who are happy, or are pretending to be so on Valentines day at various restaurants and such, getting some commercial card, chocolates, flowers and if you’re really “lucky” jewelry that Tom Shane convinced your Significant other that they absolutely needed to have in order to make you happy. If you’re married, you either are newly married and fall into the category of most people who are dating, and if you have kids (like i do) you don’t want to go through the hassle of finding someone to watch them so you can crowd in with those people who are also celebrating said “holiday”. I much more prefer my romance and dates to be sporadic and not required.

. . . .

That’s not to say I wouldn’t appreciate something for onValentine’s day, but just as much as I might appreciate something any day of the year. Hopefully this weekend we can fit something in that will be fun.

In other news, I am sick again. I am hoping I am catching it in time that I don’t have to take as heavy duty of antibiotics again. Gosh.

Derringer Meryl [sick.] Out

WHOA. Seriously. Whoa.

In the past three weeks Scott has had THREE jobs. I kid you not. First he had his Job where I work, then his new job, and then his NEW NEW job. the middle job there hired him with good intentions, but found that they had lost clients the same week he had been hired and that put him on the chopping block. It was NOT  a great way to start February, but over all, if any month in the year has to suck, let it be february because it’s so short.

I got to go and be there when Sukie found out that she was having a girl. I am SO excited for them, and SUPER excited to help throw her baby shower. I have never done one. Ever. Unless you count me helping my mom on baby showers before, but I don’t really since I mostly just sat there and agreed with my mom’s plans. I’m only help plan/and host, so I’m glad I don’t have ALL the responsibility, but I’m very excited for the shower. Did I say I want to make a cake and decorate it? I don’t have the clearance or go ahead… but of course I had to check it out… I was thinking, this?

too much?

I’m just kidding, in case you couldn’t tell. 😉 though I would have LOVED to have a cake like that with Audrey. It’s hilarious.

I’ve been thinking about Audrey’s Birthday a lot lately (I know I”m weird and obsessive) and I am hoping to make a marshmellow fondant ballerina cake. TECHNICAL. i am so … worried about it. I need to figure this stuff out. Maybe I should try not to over do it. I really enjoyed Katie’s last birthday because it was so simple. Balloons, clean house, family and close friends. It was great.  But … I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned it before… I love cake decorating. I do. I wish I could do something super impressive, but I find myself not dreaming about it too much mostly because I have stupid hands. (If you don’t get the reference, I highly recommend watching Futurama’s episode “The Devil’s Hands are Idle Playthings” and you might get it.) I love cakes (so much so that I’ve had two pieces this week… for no reason other than I needed it to not feel depressed, Yeah I”m horrible) and I love the pretty decor. I would LOVE to try something.

I should probably get into classes, even if it is just to learn. I don’t need to be a professional… I just want to do something fun.

Derringer Meryl [cakes on the brain] Out