Undone

Soooo Good news, and not so happy news. It’s not bad, or anything… just not so happy. Scott and I went apartment hunting today (Whee) and called on a few apartments, and the like. Everything seems outrageously over priced. I saw a four-plex that looked like it was straight out of the simpsons (With Lerlean and Cleatus and what not) that was totally icky and white trash, that costed $550 a month, plus deposit. Stupid realators. Grr.

Then Scott and I saw a happy place. Perfect. Lots of parking for happy things like Quake fests and just general friend and family visitation. It was so nice. They even allowed pets (according to the Landlady) and it’s just down the street from my work (new work, Convergys) and Scott loves it. I love it. It’s like a tiny cottage.

IT’s awful to fall in love with a place you know you can’t afford, at all. *sighs* Well, we can afford it, probably by the end of September. But that’s… what, two months? Even if Scott and I stopped spending, right now, until I got my job, there is no way we can afford it. I was telling him how I was willing to sell an arm and leg for it, not my own of course, but still….

I guess it’s just me being a brat… I miss living in a place that could be construed as … I dont’ know… livable? Maybe we shouldn’t have gone inside to look at the house (it’s so cute and tiny… like a baby) It’s got a gourgeous yard… With Honeysuckle growing outside. I’ve already sold my soul to the dark side of the corprate world (Convergys) What else do I need to do to get the heck out of here. I guess Scott and I are just going to have to wait, and rely on the kindness of Strangers (er, friends and family?) to get me home from Training once it starts (From two till ten, the bus stops running at ten… hee)

I wish some magic money fairy would come and whack us. 🙂 With money that is.

Last night Scott had to stay at work extra late (till three) and I fell asleep on the couch, and woke up with a nightmare. I don’t remember it, but I remember that I was really scared that Scott hadnt’ gotten home yet. :-S

I feel really lost and just generally upset, but wanting to move forward with life anyway. So Upset, but optimistic? I dunno. I have faith that God will provide for Scott and I, even if it isn’t a nice little cottage less than twenty minutes walking from work (For both of us) Because God loves Scott and I, and This basement has been so hard on both of us. Like our own permenant hell on earth. Cause if this is what hell is like, I’m pretty sure it is, I want to be as righteous as possible.

Really.

Derringer Meryl [Hell Is…] Out

That’s right, you heard it from scott first (I had GS work) that I’ve been hired on at USPS area of Convergys. It makes me happy, and I even found a flaw in the system they were using for screening…

That impressed the interviewer.

With an increase in time and money, Scott and I are much happier. Though, I do have to go through an extensive background check (silly government peoples) So Yeah. Mom, start lookin’ for a government certified birth certificate. I need it. Really. Or I can be fired… or something like htat. I need to pass a drug test… *sighs* Peeing in a cup, woot. Or… not really.

Oh if someone gets in contact with Mar-say, I put her down as referring me to Convergys. (So If you get money, you know who to split it with… Hint… hint.)

Lets see. I’m giddy happy at the idea of getting the hell out of this place– and I want to take pictures of the hellish place I lived in so i can tell my kids how freakishly lucky they are, and I can remember what I started from, and how much I LOVE working at convergys for getting me the heck out of the place. 🙂

Derringer Meryl [Gonna go Celebrate] Out

You know what my fetching lot in life is?

Doing something completely nice and wonderful for someone just so they can take it for fucking granted that this is what I just “always” do.

LIke this morning for example. I’m going to an interview. I get up at eight thirty, get a shower and get ready… and Scott doesn’t like the fact that I turned the light on, cause it woke him up. I’m doing this interview because he was depressed on Saturday or Friday, and honestly, I don’t want him to be like that. If It hadn’t been for that, i’d still be picking through a bunch of jobs I know i’d like instead of going to interview for some places that everyone I know says they are a pain in the ass.

Why? Why do I try to make people happy?? They never say anything. They are never overjoyed. I think this time It’s because i want the heck out of the basement too. Sure, but *sighs* Do I want out through convergys or myfamily? I don’t know. But damnnit, he could at least say thank you for my effort to try better. :-S

Am I right, or am I just whack?

Derringer Meryl [Whack or wiggity whack] Ou

Scott apparently wasn’t feeling up to par this morning, but I forgive him (not that I really think he noticed I was ticked) for being ill (since I consider his lack of sleep his fault.

About the interview(s)… yeah, So I went to Myfamily.com today, and did my first interview. The first girl I talked to was very enthusiastic and enjoyed my personality and we seemed to mesh. So much that I didn’t even get asked all the questions on the chart for our interview before she decided that I should talk to her supervisor (I think) about getting a job right away. This happens to be an odd perdicament for me… possibly the first time in my life I’ve related more to a woman than a man when it comes down to an interview. I think I was uberly uneasy because we were in a room alone together. Not that I couldn’t have taken the freakish shrimp if he had tried anything, I just feel weird. I realize I’m alone with my male co-workers all the time, but I think this just felt different. There are windows on my store, so if any molestation happened, I could just run out. THere were weird locks, and if you’ve ever worked (or been to) a call center place, those things are like mazes. I was so confused. Blah. There weren’t many people around either.

So, I was a tad bit more nervous for my second interview. (Read: FREAKINGLY nervous) Scott doesnt’ really want me to work for Myfamily.com because it’s really far south (south provo. fourty five minutes away. ick.) and because apparently they suck. All I want, is a new job, because GS isnt’ cutting it.

I pretty much want to do anything that pays enough to get me out of the basement.

Derringer Meryl [lovin’ you] Out

I’m lazy, So I don’t want to figure out what’s up with my lame a (as in the letter) commentin system at the moment.

Tomorrow I have an interview with Myfamily.com (a lot like convergys) and then on thursday I have an interview with the one and only convergys.

I’m not going to say that working for convergys is what I want to do. Or any telemarketing of any kind really… but dang it, apartments that are under $200 are few and far between. And fucking beggers can’t be choosers. (Right Sukie?) And honestly if I can make $8 bucks an hour to do mindless work– I’m set. It’s what I do now, only it pays better with either of those companies. 😀

Great, eh?

Plus, I plan on taking a picture of the basement I live in now (and someday my new apartment *sigh*) and putting them in my purse to take to work everyday, to remind me of where I’ve been, and what I NEED/WANT to keep.

Someday, I want my own Washer and Dryer and refridgerator… and someday, an okay car. Ya know nothing new or flashy … (read: not like Scott’s) just a $600 car, or something. all i need is automatic and AC.

😀 alright. I’m watchin’ I robot… umm yeah.

Derringer Meryl [still nervous about interviews] Out