Undone

Greetings from the land of cement and spiders.

Scott cleaned (organized) the basement today, and made it so you can see the floor again. Made me very happy. The spiders, however, do not. Scott sprayed today while he was cleaning, but for some reason, that encourages them to come out. So one about an inch or so in diameter came out, and decided to play with me a few minutes ago, it started to head for underneath the couch, and I had no choice, no matter how squeemish it made me, I stomped on it. I hate doing that. I much rather have Scott (or one of his siblings) do it.

*shudders*

Derringer Meryl [ew ew ew] Out

Soooo Good news, and not so happy news. It’s not bad, or anything… just not so happy. Scott and I went apartment hunting today (Whee) and called on a few apartments, and the like. Everything seems outrageously over priced. I saw a four-plex that looked like it was straight out of the simpsons (With Lerlean and Cleatus and what not) that was totally icky and white trash, that costed $550 a month, plus deposit. Stupid realators. Grr.

Then Scott and I saw a happy place. Perfect. Lots of parking for happy things like Quake fests and just general friend and family visitation. It was so nice. They even allowed pets (according to the Landlady) and it’s just down the street from my work (new work, Convergys) and Scott loves it. I love it. It’s like a tiny cottage.

IT’s awful to fall in love with a place you know you can’t afford, at all. *sighs* Well, we can afford it, probably by the end of September. But that’s… what, two months? Even if Scott and I stopped spending, right now, until I got my job, there is no way we can afford it. I was telling him how I was willing to sell an arm and leg for it, not my own of course, but still….

I guess it’s just me being a brat… I miss living in a place that could be construed as … I dont’ know… livable? Maybe we shouldn’t have gone inside to look at the house (it’s so cute and tiny… like a baby) It’s got a gourgeous yard… With Honeysuckle growing outside. I’ve already sold my soul to the dark side of the corprate world (Convergys) What else do I need to do to get the heck out of here. I guess Scott and I are just going to have to wait, and rely on the kindness of Strangers (er, friends and family?) to get me home from Training once it starts (From two till ten, the bus stops running at ten… hee)

I wish some magic money fairy would come and whack us. 🙂 With money that is.

Last night Scott had to stay at work extra late (till three) and I fell asleep on the couch, and woke up with a nightmare. I don’t remember it, but I remember that I was really scared that Scott hadnt’ gotten home yet. :-S

I feel really lost and just generally upset, but wanting to move forward with life anyway. So Upset, but optimistic? I dunno. I have faith that God will provide for Scott and I, even if it isn’t a nice little cottage less than twenty minutes walking from work (For both of us) Because God loves Scott and I, and This basement has been so hard on both of us. Like our own permenant hell on earth. Cause if this is what hell is like, I’m pretty sure it is, I want to be as righteous as possible.

Really.

Derringer Meryl [Hell Is…] Out

Scott apparently wasn’t feeling up to par this morning, but I forgive him (not that I really think he noticed I was ticked) for being ill (since I consider his lack of sleep his fault.

About the interview(s)… yeah, So I went to Myfamily.com today, and did my first interview. The first girl I talked to was very enthusiastic and enjoyed my personality and we seemed to mesh. So much that I didn’t even get asked all the questions on the chart for our interview before she decided that I should talk to her supervisor (I think) about getting a job right away. This happens to be an odd perdicament for me… possibly the first time in my life I’ve related more to a woman than a man when it comes down to an interview. I think I was uberly uneasy because we were in a room alone together. Not that I couldn’t have taken the freakish shrimp if he had tried anything, I just feel weird. I realize I’m alone with my male co-workers all the time, but I think this just felt different. There are windows on my store, so if any molestation happened, I could just run out. THere were weird locks, and if you’ve ever worked (or been to) a call center place, those things are like mazes. I was so confused. Blah. There weren’t many people around either.

So, I was a tad bit more nervous for my second interview. (Read: FREAKINGLY nervous) Scott doesnt’ really want me to work for Myfamily.com because it’s really far south (south provo. fourty five minutes away. ick.) and because apparently they suck. All I want, is a new job, because GS isnt’ cutting it.

I pretty much want to do anything that pays enough to get me out of the basement.

Derringer Meryl [lovin’ you] Out

about the sudden upbeat “I can Do it” Adittude. Scott woke up this morning with a serious case of the blues. This awoke me to the fact that, wow, Scott thinks it sucks here too. He loves me, and I should be doing more to get us the hell out of here.

So I am.

I love Scott’s family. While I don’t exactly love living with them here. We have no real technical walls, we have no privacy, not even a bathroom of our own really. (There is a case of slight sharing) There is no carpet, there is no sunlight… nothing. We can’t cook anything to eat after a certain time because we might wake his parents, we can’t stick anything on the walls because a) no walls, and b) stuff won’t stick to cement. *sighs*

So yeah. LIfe here sucks. I’m doing my best to improve it. I really want Scott to feel better. I want him to smile and not worry… So I even applied at convergys. DUN DUN DUN!

Derringer Meryl [That’s the power of love] Out