Undone

No one has been SO intensly angered as I was (still am) tonight.

Fear my rage– and the lack of your present. I left it at work, where you said you’d pick it up. *growls*

Follow through.

Derringer Meryl [Movie, eh?] Out

*dances*

I’m soo…. enthused. I dont’ know why– maybe it’s Christmas. Maybe it’s because I’m actually feeling good about being alone, again (tho, I’m still a firm believer that i’m ugly. Ten months of someone telling you that everyday, you start to believe it.) and it’s good.

Life is. ya know. I’m going to be Nineteen, and i’ve never been kissed– but i have a feeling i’d not be very good at it…

Blah– but i’m good. Stuff is good. i don’t feel all…depressed for no good reason. It’s good. I mean, sure there’s stuff I could complain about… like how i nearly hit someone on my way home from taking presents to work– but i don’t really want to. I don’t feel the need to. *sighs* And I’ve been reading romance novels (novelettes, fictions) and i’m okay. I don’t care that i don’t go to sleep with someone holding me.

Cause all that seems to bring is drama. Nothing works out as simple as it does in the movies. Heck…. Because if we watched a movie that was life like– it’d never end. And you’d be depressed. and no one would want to see it.

We want to see fake movies, that are up lifting and cheezy. Those movies are good, and make you feel good about life… Tho, if we sold a depressing movie with a suicide booth right out side of it…. we might make a … killing. Heh. What a horrid pun.

Anyway, I’m off to make a killing selling adult video games to children. It’s fun to see their parents come back after christmas, pissed off, and powerless. Heh heh heh.

Feeling a bit evil?

Derringer Meryl [Yes, Yes I am] Out

Sunday before Christmas, and I’m done. I’ve got the cards written, I’ve got some of the presents delivered… and i’m feeling good. Tomorrow my Dad and I have to scurry off in the hussle and bustle to finish my mom’s Christmas shopping.

I went to the mall and found out that Marco was working there, which is something that everyone but me knew. *shrugs* I got to hang out with my friend for the weekend, and give her her present, as well as her brother…. who is also an Anime freak like me, but he’s a lot nicer than any other Anime boi i know. *laughs* Not at all like Miroku. heh.

Lets see, what else? Ah right, the topic for the day.

I wanted to write about this last night, but then I got all tired, so I didn’t get to. I was watching Sabrina but not the new one, which I enjoy thoroughly, but the older one with Bogie and Audrey Hepburn…. Yeah. It was….

I’d give a lot to be as pretty as Audrey Hepburn… anyway. I was thinking about… nothign like that happens nowadays.

heck, i don’t think it even happened back then… It’s sad. It’s sad that we’ve all become so eternally wrapped up in our day to day life that everything that’s romantic about being alive has been sucked out of it by the hum drum rut the entire world is in.

Maybe I have a little too much Anne of Green Gables running through my blood. I dont know. But I want someone to chase after me when I run, instead of saying “OH, there’s always more fish in the sea….” I want someone who says “I dont’ want any of those fish, I want her.” Is that so much? Is that insane to wish for? Sometimes, yeah, you have to let go, and move on– but how do you know when which is which…

Take for example my brother, the Specialist, and his wife, Antigone. He was keen on her. It was cute too. Cause he was like… OKay, I won’t say that…. cause i don’t want to be bruised for my birthday– but he had a case on her. But she kept saying “I just want to be friends…” and he would back off, give her some time, and then ask her out again… and he kept doing it, until she stopped asking to just be friends…. and then they got married. They’re well suited for each other…. Honest, if you saw them, you’d tip your head to the side, and make that “awww” noise. I can guarantee it.

Because while they argue like cats and dogs, you know it’s because my brother is stubborn, and so is his wife. so it’s extra cute. 🙂

Anyway– why doesn’t stuff like that happen to me? I’ve been on one date where the guy asked me. Maybe two, and it was the same guy– ya know? And he wasn’t anyone I seriously dated.

I asked Monkey out. Don’t get me wrong, he took me places… but it always felt like I was initiating it. *shrugs* that should have been a tip off. I asked my First boy friend out. I asked every guy i went out with In High school, out. And I’ve been all rejected before too. *coughs* Miroku. *coughs*

who cares, he’s a lech anyway.

Derringer Meryl [Girls Like Jerks…] Out

I passed!

i wish i could show you all the official everything about me passing my Math class, but unfortunately, i’d give too much info about myself away! *laughs maniacally*

Yes, I passed my Math 101 class with flying freakin’ colors (otherwise known as a B)

Isn’t that amazing? I’m so excited….

I was talking with monkey tonight (technically the eighteenth) and we were talking about the Holidays and Gert’s sudden mood swings. I honestly think it’s because he’s romantically alone for the holidays. (Though honestly– he COULD be otherwise, but he’s just too dang stubborn for his own good. Ya know?) Monkey says it’s no fun being alone for the holidays– but I honestly have to disagree.

I’ve always been Happy at Christmas time (i’m Christian, I celebrate Christmas, so… there.) It’s my birthday (ish, a few days after Christmas) and it’s Christmas. Sure, I’ve never had a relationship like Gert has at Christmas, so i cant’ miss what i never had…. but– It’s just the way– *shrugs* I don’t know how to explain it– Christmas to me is about being a kid. Feeling like a kid. And when you’re involved in a relationship– that doesn’t promote kid like things. There’s serious things. Like commitment and Love and … devotion. I guess adults make those kind of things complicated. So maybe love is better at Christmas time. I don’t know.

Honest. I’ve only experience unrequited love at Christmas, so i wouldnt’ know.

But Since people seem to need some cheering up around this time of year, let me leave you with this: SakuraSaku Roughly Translated it’s “Cherry Blossom Blooming”

On the roof, looking at the sky, the sun’s light is warm and gentle

When I look at the sky my entire body is filled with energy

THAT’S SO WONDERFUL! I am living

I can’t quit it! I can’t give up

Good bye to the bewildered yesterday

My feelings are springing up

I can bring them up many times, let a flower blossom

Memories are sweet hiding places

Live to see another day

One day a blessing will come, Stretch out your hands

The sunlight that swims the sky over the roof is glorious

When I look up at the sky, happiness is filled throughout my body

THAT’S SO WONDERFUL! I am living

I can’t quit it! I can’t give up

Daily life is like an angry wave

A cycle of heaven and hell

I can bring it up many times, let a flower blossom

Run, run until you find love

If I was to suffer, let it continue

One day a blessing will come, Stretch out your hands

Good bye to the bewildered yesterday

My feelings are springing up

I can bring them up many times, let a flower blossom

Memories are sweet hiding places

Live to see another day

One day a blessing will come, Stretch out your hands

Stretch out your hands, Rise up both your hands!

I have that hanging over my bed here at home. 🙂 It helps me calm down when I’m all grump-i-ed out. I’m planning on giving it to Gert for Christmas with his present. :S I hope he understands.

Derringer Meryl [Memories are sweet Hiding places]

Like I said, I went to See LoTR. It’s great. I loved it. I loved going at midnight, and while the movie got started late, it was okay, because i made a potty run right before it started. *nods* We had our ticket stubs checked like… fourty times. I got trompled on by like… the same four kids, twenty times over. I wanted to yell at them… but i didn’t.

I don’t want to give anything about the movie…. but there were a few flubs, that were noticeable– but i’ll leave you to find them for yourself– I don’t want to ruin the movie! I had fun with my co-workers. A few of them dressed up, but not in the way you’d think. Instead of wearing the more traditional cloak and scabbard– they chose to wear decorated underwear on the outside of their pants. It was funny. One of them read “Which Way to Legolas’ Bedroom?” It was cute.

We didnt’ save enough seats– and the i ended up sitting with people i didn’t know– but were with the company and the Mouth’s ex girlfriend. *nods* The guy i was sitting next to found my “I Love you Sam Wise Gamgee!” and “I love you too, Mr. Frodo!” Bit quite funny. 🙂 i waited a while to use it– and in the meanwhile while my neighbor wondered where Aragorn got something from (a torch I do believe) since he didn’t have it before he entered a cave– I theorized he got it from his pocket, where all great heros keep everything. You can fit anything in your pocket when you’re hero. Grenade launchers and torches, and a various assortment of green herbs…. Yep, Hero pockets, they should sell pants like that for the average Joe.

*nods* The Movie was good. If I was in charge of Emmy Nominations– I’d nominate the actor who played Pippin and the actor who played Golum. they were both great. While I enjoyed Legolas (of course, he’s nummy, how could you not?) I agree with Orlando Bloom’s Position on his character. “He’s a Man of few words– he has to get most of what he’s saying across with a look.” And that’s what he does. A fine look, might i add. 🙂 So while he’s a great actor, i don’t think i’d nominate him for anything but “The Hottest Man ALIVE” award. *nods* Viggo Mortensen was good as well– he really stepped up to the roll, and you see his character change from the Ranger, to the King. It’s amazing. 🙂

Derringer Meryl [Could it be any longer?] Out