Undone

I think… I think no one really understands what it’s like to be a newly wed until you experience it.

Call me a cocky Teenager, but I thought things would work out better than this for Scott and I.

It’s hard. Being a newlywed is hard. Leaving my old job, is hard. Katy asked today why I was leaving– and I told her, that it was just time for me to go. (Instead of my natural reaction to tell her that she was screwing me over) It is. It’s time to put childish things away. Scott and I are trying to deal with these things as much as we can.

The people haven’t called back about our financing for the car yet. I start my new job in about a week. We have bills, and the threat of Bankruptcy looming over our heads. It feels like this basement sucks us back in every time we try to leave. In the darkness here– I find comfort knowing that God lives, and that I’m going to learn something from this annoyance. I turn my music on, and I listen, hoping to hear something that’s going to inspire me.

Something that’s going to keep me going. Keep me from being even more exhausted than I am at this moment. Someday, the laundry will be done. Someday, The bed will be made. someday, we won’t live here anymore. Someday, i’ll feel better.

Someday, we’ll look at this and laugh.

Someday, things will be okay.

Derringer Meryl [Right?] Out

I’m pretty– helpless?

Unreasonable, Unlogical, and Different.

So before I start this new entry and new week of posting, I’d like to note, that I’m still sad that Marci died. I miss her. I’m worried about Kristianne…

But I don’t want to focus on it. So I’m not going to.

*coughs*

Scott and I are getting a new mattress today. I’m pretty freaking excited. The one we have now, is from when Scott was like, thirteen, and it smells … ewll… foul. and kinda like a thirteen year old boy. *shudders* Okay. SO yeah, i”m pretty thrilled about that though.

I got a call from convergys today. I thought they were going to say that I was some sort of closet drug addict and that they weren’t going to hire me because of that, but Nope… they just wanted to know about what time of day I wanted to start working at…. Ten to 12, naturally. Like I’d actually wake up early. Early is for… early people.

Right.

Whelp, I can’t think of much more to say– except the hicks over yonder are hacking on our Internet cables. As in literally chopping htem up, so …if you don’t hear from me– that’s why.

Derringer Meryl [Silly Hicks] out

I finally got myself some sugar last night. I was so thrilled. I am a complete sugar addict, so the fact that i’m married to a diabetic can be a little tricky.

I had two slices of chocolate cake. and MAN was it good. I sorta got sick toward the end because the milk tasted kinda gross. Anyway. I’m happy. I decided that as a treat for Scott and I’s anniversary I’m getting a Granny B’s Cookie, the sugar cookie with pink frosting. I lived off of those in high school, every day for lunch– so you can see my sugar withdrawl woes, right?

I finished a lot of stuff up with Convergys today. I got finger printed, and did my five year back ground check. It wasn’t hard or anything, mostly just time consuming. I think I’m going to have to take and move my file cabinet from my parents house to here. I don’t really know why I haven’t yet, but since i’ll be moving soon (read: in a month) everything I’ve done now will have to be re-done. 🙂 Oh well. I don’t care. Being a grown-up is hard. THat’s what I’ve decided. i can remember wanting to be grown up when I was little, so I could do things without asking If i could or not, but honestly, I still have to ask.

I dont’ have to check with someone if I want to leave the house or anything, that’s fine…. but– yeah, I still have to worry about not spending too much. I would like to get some new clothes, so my pay checks are going to go a little toward that since I’m not fitting into as many of my clothes as before…. :S

Call me skinny all you want, but clothes don’t lie. Some part of me is getting bigger. *shrugs*

Derringer Meryl [burnt roof of mouth] Out

I’m lazy, So I don’t want to figure out what’s up with my lame a (as in the letter) commentin system at the moment.

Tomorrow I have an interview with Myfamily.com (a lot like convergys) and then on thursday I have an interview with the one and only convergys.

I’m not going to say that working for convergys is what I want to do. Or any telemarketing of any kind really… but dang it, apartments that are under $200 are few and far between. And fucking beggers can’t be choosers. (Right Sukie?) And honestly if I can make $8 bucks an hour to do mindless work– I’m set. It’s what I do now, only it pays better with either of those companies. 😀

Great, eh?

Plus, I plan on taking a picture of the basement I live in now (and someday my new apartment *sigh*) and putting them in my purse to take to work everyday, to remind me of where I’ve been, and what I NEED/WANT to keep.

Someday, I want my own Washer and Dryer and refridgerator… and someday, an okay car. Ya know nothing new or flashy … (read: not like Scott’s) just a $600 car, or something. all i need is automatic and AC.

😀 alright. I’m watchin’ I robot… umm yeah.

Derringer Meryl [still nervous about interviews] Out

here i am, eating m&m’s in my basement apartment type thing, alone (again) waiting for it to be time to go to work. I’ll probably end up watching some live action GTO (i heard it’s better than the anime) which is my newwest addiction. I”ve been bittorrent crazy lately.

I’ve finished off Haibane Renmai (something i’ve been wanting to see since it was released in america.) and could start on Witch Hunter Robin, but I’m lazy and so I don’t want to read the subtitles quite yet. 🙂

Apparently GTO (Great Teacher Onizuka) is a rather long (about fourty episodes) anime. Which I think is cool. It goes in arcs of three for each student he helps. Cool eh?

I hope he gets the girl. That other guy is creepy with his stalker kinds of ways. Creep.

Scott and I have saved our pennies this week so we can go to Chilis tonight. IT’s for our one month anniversary (which technically was last week, but we was poor…. not that we aren’t now, we were just more poor then) I’m excited for the southwestern egg rolls. Those things are like freaking ambrosia. Seriously. I could eat them for the rest of my life and be so very happy. (With a side of M&Ms of course)

I’m a chocolate fiend. I should take some asprin to work– since everyone there seems to get headaches and we have no medicine there to kill the pain with.

Derringer Meryl [Gonna watch me some GTO] Out