Undone

DQ is dating someone.

I”m having a hard time dealing with it.  Which sounds stupid. I feel like the universe is throwing everything at me at once this month, and it’s only the 12th. Seriously. It feels like i’m juggling so much and now it feels like an appendage has been cut off. I realize that eventually DQ had to get involved with someone, and I want her to be happy, I am just having a really emotional time right now. She stayed out late friday, for which she has apologized,  but I stayed up late, adding tired to sick to emotionally wrung out. I am pretty strung out and upset lately.  So if I have been snippy with you,  I am sorry.

Exhausted. This week, I would love to take time off. I would love to sit down and eat a load of junk food. Yum.

ETA: I love DQ. She is my bestest Bestie. it’s like a part of me is missing when she’s not around. I think when she does eventually move out/get married, I will be lost and extremely depressed. I don’t think there are adequate words to describe how sad I have been not having her around. I am immensely happy that she’s happy though, and have a hard time showing it because I’m too busy worrying about her. I totally guilted her tonight into Watching glee with me, but she should try to balance her time… right? Ok, Maybe I’m just a jerk, but I want someone to watch it with. My evenings are lonely. Why could I share her with friends but can’t share her with a boyfriend? What Is my major malfunction?

you’re my wingman goose!

Derringer Meryl [Junk] Out

To paraphrase one of my favorite actors… Kevin Smith in reference to Twilight fans:

that’s what I love about [life] … people will stand there in a Spock costume look at someone in a chewy costume and say “look at that f&%*ng geek”. How dare you pass judgment on them.

Seriously. I read a frienemy’s of mine’s blog, and she is EVER constantly bagging on twilight. Ok, we get it, you FETCHIN hate it. Not unlike how you hate me. Grow up! Not everyone can meet your ever growing standard of perfection. Also, if you hate it so bad, why are you following the news for her new book (which I have just learned of, and I am pretty hard core…) like you’re one of the desperate fan girls you hate so badly. Not unlike how you wanted to be watching new moon so that you could make fun of it. Really? Just let go of the harsh cold facade you put up and allow yourself some imperfection once in a while.  Maybe you can relax enough to get the shards of glass out of your anus. I figure that’s why you’re so unpleasant all of the time.

I guess I have to say why do people have to be down on stuff all the time/ Like I suppose if twilight was causing major issues in society like, cancer, or people were dying because they had read it and they felt their life was so complete that they had to slice their wrists… But really, it’s just a book. People really like it. Some people like it too much… but who cares? like how is my fanaticism hurting her?

seriously.

Derringer Meryl [peeved] out

So I am a busy bee these next few days, weeks and, dare I say it, months?

wanna hear? Course ya do, why else would you be here other than to hear my meandering thoughts?

So this weekend we have conference and a family get together. then next weekend is a friend’s birthday, and the weekend after that is Sukie’s Baby Shower… *sigh* After that is Mom and Dad’s birthday, Lorna’s Graduation, and Jam Jam’s Eagle Court of Honor. Whew. (There is a lot that weekend) Then we have mothers day and Katie’s birthday,  then things should mellow out long enough for me to plan Scott and I’s Anniversary, and then Scott’s Birthday and Audrey’s First Birthday… Not to mention that SOMEWHERE in there, Sukie will be having Pepper too! CRAZY.

In addition to that, I’m Doing a 30 day challenge with Scott to wear make up and do my hair. I am currently on day 4 :-p And my biggest loser competition that is going until July 1. Whew.  So I am a bit insane. I feel like I have bitten off a bit more than I can chew sometimes, but that’s how it is, right?

Did I mention we got a kitten?
Did I mention I’m out of my mind?

derringer meryl [crazy] out

Hi my name is Meryl and I fetchin’ LOVE food. It’s true. I am embarking on a weight loss campaign with my friends, and i find it impossible. And Good grief, it’s no fair that my husband gets to eat whatever the HECK he wants and still manages to lose 10 lbs. Jerk. I’m trying to make this about support and less about competition.
Did I mention I love food? I am picky, but the things I like, I really really like.  I like Salad. I recently tried caesar salad, delish. I like it best w/o chicken. Cold chicken is just… wrong? I don’t know. I don’t appreciate it. I like peas, and carrots. All good things. Unfortunately, the other things I like are not so good… like cream cheese, and white bread… pizza with ridiculous amounts of cheese and such. Yuuuuuuuuuuuum. I’m lucky today is my day off from my diet. I need to work extra hard next week, so that I can continue to lose.  That is my main goal. With tiny goals like:

• not drinking diet coke when not at a sit down restaurant (I will allow it then)
• Drinking a TON of water every day.
• exercising more frequently

I’m sure I will think of more little goals. I have found a secret weapon. Fiber one bars! I love them, it’s like eating a candy bar, and it’s SUPER low in calories. SO YUM!

derringer meryl [diet junk] out

I wrote a poem. Trust me, It’s not about suicide. 😉

Standing on a cliff
Looking down
I wonder how wonderful
the fall will feel so good

Looking down
leaning back, arms outstretched
The fall will feel so good
I cannot leap

Leaning back arms outstretched
longing for the freedom
I cannot leap
the sudden stop would kill me

longing for the freedom
looking down
the sudden stop would kill me
Standing on a cliff

I need to toy with it a bit… what do you think? It’s a type of poem where you re-use the lines.

Derringer Meryl [The fall] Out