Undone

We went to Boo at the Zoo. FUN! I will admit in the future we will be going to the zoo on a MUCH less busy day, but hindsight is 20/20. Next year will be more fun. Scott and I were thinking that a Zoo pass for us as a family next year for katie’s B-day might not be a bad Idea. She seemed to enjoy the animals (when she wasn’t distracted by the kids) she was VERY afraid of the large ape sculpture (not sure why.) She can say Giraffe, and she called the Tiger a Kitty. She got to see it swimming in the pool. We also looked at some very angry looking cougars (the animal, not the old attractive woman) and had lunch with Lashes, Codeweaver, Drama Queen and the kids. Katie knocked my drink all over their oldest, which was fun times. Katie chose to be a cheerleader instead of little bo peep, which was fine. We had the other outfit, and it work out great. I’ll post pictures later of her outfit, and her fun times at the zoo.  I started feeling pretty sick at the end, so sorry if I bit anyone’s head off. Mostly I think i was a bit snippy with Scott and DQ 😉

After the zoo, we went and hung out at my parent’s house for a while, Scott Zonked (and rightly so) and I drove home sans glasses (because they are still broken. Poor me.) We got home safely though, so that’s good. Sunday we got up in time for Church, but Scott was exhausted, so i settled in to unpack a little and watch some quality anime. Speaking of anime, I find it interesting that I watched FMA before we had Katie, and thought “Wow, what a tame Anime, there isn’t much violence in this at all, and it’s such a compelling story!!” and now I”m watching it going “Wait, i don’t remember it being this violent! Sheesh!” somewhere in the midst of cleaning and watching Anime, Katie found my rotary blade and sliced her thumb up right nicely. So I hurried and washed it out, and put pressure on it. poor baby! she cried and cried. I sliced my hand with one of those when I was little (actually to be honest, I was like… 8, and it was the same blade) Scott was asleep, so I got him to go get the bandaids and Katie’s pacifier… and some tylenol. Poor kiddo!  the rest of the day was spent telling her NOT to chew on the bandaid, and organizing DVD’s.

I”ve been increasingly snippy/rude lately. I’m sorry for anyone I may have offended. I hope to keep myself under better control in the future.

I have FINALLY gotten to Feb 2004, which is when I met Scott. Some people might say “Oh that’s that means more smooshie posts” and really I”m saying “YAY! Finally the disgustingly smooshie posts i’m writing are about Scott, and not some boy that I don’t remember his name!”

This weekend we’re going to Boo at the Zoo (YAY!) which will be simultaneously Katie’s first trip to the zoo and her first trick or treating expedition. So it’ll be awesome. I think i’ll even take our real diaper bag. Make sure she has a change of clothes, I can see her throwing a fit about being in her costume all day.

I’m working on Mandarin’s present still. I doubt I’ll be able to get all of my cohorts together to help me, but hopefully a few of them…. Once i’ve given it to her, I’ll even post a picture or two.

Things are ok with the house. We got new flooring in the entry and hallway. the old flooring was driving Scott crazy. I was much more mellow about it. And he thinks *I* have neurosis. LOL. My car has been acting up. Apparently the electricity connections aren’t running too well (?) and really need to be inspected. It wasn’t a problem prior to the weather changing, but my car has been having problems starting up 🙁 Poor poor car. I sure hope we can get it fixed soon.

I have been increasingly trying to cook dinner instead of us eating out, i think we could save a lot (A LOT) of money if we didn’t just crave eating out all the time. It’s TOO convenient for me to just get something on the way home when I’m tired from work. I feel a really big responsibility to take care of Scott and Katie when I get home, to get the house cleaned up, and  to get a few chores done. I tried to clean last night, Katie was having a hard night. At least (the very least) I swept the laundry room and bagged up the kitty litter (Scott took it out, along with the other trash) it was a good night. we watched How I met your mother (New favorite TV show!!), and Shawna came over trying to figure out her Halloween costume. She’s being a jelly fish.

We had dinner over at Carolyn and Erik’s on Sunday, it was a good time. We played bang, I died really fast (who would have figured) I watched a little Walk the Line which is one of my favorite movies. I enjoyed it, even if it was just the end. 😉 We watched the first episode of How I met your Mother, which was funny 😀 I am in love with that show, and I am very nearly all caught up. I super love NPH, he’s my favorite. Katie hopped into the bath with Alice. Katie’ s a big fan of Baths. LOL, it’s tough being a mom sometimes because I have only 3 hours an evening to give Katie a bath,  cook dinner, watch TV, hang out with Scott (he’s usually sleeping though) This somehow reminds me that I have a monkey quilt in my closet begging to be finished. LOL! it’s hard to fit everything in that we want/need to do!

Saturday Scott wasn’t feeling well, so I did laundry and made Katie and I some mac and cheese. I picked out a couple of movies that she might like to watch (It was between robin hood with animals, or transformers) and Katie chose transformers. I watched Dr. Horrible again (SQUEE!) and watch a bunch of 30 rock (that I had already seen all of) Then we went to the store to pick up some essential items. I made sure we got some immitation vanilla as I had apparently run out. Our goal this weekend had been to unpack, however it didn’t happen 🙁 I got my clothes fairly well organized and folded and put away, however, I don’t really count that as unpacking since most the clothes I unpacked had to go back into a box anyway (I found my box of maternity clothes. yay!)

We took Katie to Home Depot, and she loves it there, mostly because there are so many people and so much space to run. We took her to the christmas area (yes Christmas stuff already!) and she was giddy! She loved the moving lawn decorations, I’m fairly sure I”ll have to break down and buy a little dancing toy that sings Christmas songs. So much more space to decorate. Hopefully I’ll be just as excited later as I am now. 🙂

Off to transfer more old posts 😉

Derringer Meryl [Tis the Season… already] Out

I have some sort of luck of the irish with mondays or something.

Sunday was great, i got to spend all day with Scott, and we got to hang out iwth some of his friends, and it was just so much fun. I love being with him. We talked about some pretty heavy stuff, too. I’m so grateful that I have him in my life. I just don’t know what i’d do without him.

Back to the horribleness that is Monday. I got woke up this morning by my mom reporting to me once again that I shouldn’t keep Scott out so late. I agree. But it’s like time flies when I’m with him, and i honestly do not know what time it is. *sighs* My mom is right. I don’t want Scott to get sick, because with Diabetes you get REALLY sick, and I don’t want him to get into some sort of crazy car accident…

that would really not be good.

I got to class today, only to remember that i had a huge assignment due today, that I didn’t do because i lent the book to a friend. I have work all day today (after school) which means no Scott-goodness. Then after work i have to re-watch Dead Poets Society so I can take notes on it. Blah. Or I can just write another paper instead. I might do that. I also have a presentation in psychology due on thursday and a paper due by the end of the month.

:-S I do not enjoy college. I do not enjoy being in school. Busy work is of the devil.

and I miss Scott. I’ll be so happy when this semester is over and i can move down there into an apartment or whatever. I don’t really care.I just sorta want to shut the book on this whole school thing. I’d go to work full time and just be a grown up and everything.

I’m SO done with school right now.

Derringer Meryl [I’m not QUITTING persay…] Out

I should be doing homework, but I want to run over what happened yesterday, and today, and just get it out onto the net and out of my head hopefully.

Yesterday (Sunday) I woke up fairly early, read Scott’s Journal, and waited until about nine-thirty to wake him up. I’m not a morning person. In fact I never woke up in anything that wasn’t double digits (ie after ten) until I met Scott. I guess being awake is so much more thrilling with him around. 🙂 I got to talk to him for a minute or two… and had to go get ready for church and what not. I made some rolls and figured out why last weeks rolls died instead of fluffing. (I didn’t put enough sugar in. Poo.) Scott and I went to my ward together (hurrah!) where nearly no one asked who he was. Not even in Elders Quorum. Sorta makes me angry at the laziness of my ward. Sheesh. Bah. What did I expect from the Elders Quorum anyway? Moving on. We went back to my house, ate and ran since Scott had a meeting with his bishop. We drove down to his Singles Ward meeting house and talked with his Bishop. He’s pretty cool. Very friendly. I can totally understand why he was called as a Singles Ward Bishop. 😉 It’s important to have someone who gets to the roots of things instead of vaguely suggesting it. After that we went to his parents house for a minute and then to his friends house. *tries to think up some cool names, but falls short* Well, they’re awesome people. And I got to talk to possibly the funnest people I know. Scott’s sisters and *thinks again* Sheesh this is hard, I think I’ll call her Giggles. She’s just a fun and energenic person, and she loves to Laugh. I hope she doesn’t mind…. Well, i just had so much fun talking to them. Scott’s sisters had to leave at Six, and Scott was awake-ly napping in the basement… I expressed to Giggles a lot of my fears of getting married. All the fun extra stuff that comes a long with it. *makes a face* It felt nice to have someone besides my mom to talk to about it. Some things I just find really creepy to talk to mom about. I love her, and she’s a wonderful mom– but… No. *shudders*

After a while Scott decided we had better go, and he was getting pretty hungry and what not. I don’t know why but I never seem to hungry when I’m around Scott. I think it’s because i just gorge the rest of the time and when I’m with him i think to myself “You’re getting married. Remember that dress you have to fit into. Yeah. And you dont’ want to look totally heinous for your wedding do you? If you eat like you do normally, you will.” Great internal dialogue, i’m sure. I know Scott won’t care, as long as I’m healthy, but if i eat too much I don’t feel healthy. *shrugs* It’s odd. I had some brownies though (Shouldn’t have. Dang it.) and I got to meet one of Scott’s co-workers… or he was his co-worker… *thinks* I’m not sure. They both go to the Singles ward though. *nods* that i know. We also watched Rat Race, which i had never seen before. I got a few addresses for one of my bridal showers (I don’t know how many I’ll have… *shrugs*) and… *thinks* Then Scott took me home. I’ll cut all the gooshy details, but I didn’t want him to go home. :-S Once again, I can’t wait until our home is together. That’ll be nice.

I woke up this morning, did the blog/Journal rounds… I”m pretty sure I pissed off some of my sibs, but I was kinda cheezed. I understand that they all have … responsibilities and what not– and that they need to take care of that… *sighs* It just seemed really– odd. Scott said to me “I thought this was supposed to be some kind of party or something.” and I sorta felt mad at my sibs. Yeah my nephew was feeling sick, and they needed to stop for food and what not. I can understand that. I’m not really mad at them, I’m mad at the way things turned out. Which is no ones fault. I guess they have too many things tugging at their schedules to set some time apart for just sib time. It was poorly planned on my part. I know how it is. It’s been this way since forever. Everyone has some such thing that’s much too important than family. I don’t want to make anyone mad with this. I don’t. I’m just saying I feel that way. THat’s just the way our family is. Family comes after a few other things. That’s how we were raised. I shouldn’t expect more than that.

I went to school. I was silly and stupid– and very much school like. I stood in the sun for like ten minutes, and got sick. (hurrah.)I came home and slept it off until work. (hurrah again.) where I was rude to my co-workers. Rude and in a bad mood. I finally figured out that when I go there now days I just automatically switch into defense mode. Like i need to protect my soft and squishie innards. I feel that way a lot lately. I feel so good and right, and i’m afraid that someone’s gonna try and take that away from me. So I lash out a lot. I’m trying to be better. I’ve just had a lot of people pulling at me. And I feel like some sort of animal in a cage and everyone is poking at me, and when I lash out, everyone wonders why. Good grief, you’re poking me. Why wouldn’t i?

I’m all sorts of exhausted. being in a sympathetic reaction nearly 24/7 does that to a person. I just want to run away from the planning and the questions for a little while. From all the people. I’m not good with crowds. I’m not good with people. I’ll probably spaz out at my wedding reception and start screaming like a loon and make Scott wonder what he’s gotten himself into.

It seems right now, I dont’ mean most of what I say. I’ve said some mean things in the past… week and a half? and I’m sorry to everyone. I’m sorry if I’ve said something. I’m sorry if I’ve done something. I’m fairly sure I didn’t mean it in the way it was taken (if it was bad.) I’m just so… exhausted. THe only time I’m relaxed, is when I’m with Scott. I get all sorts of tense when he has to go again. I feel safe with him. I”m not sure what i’m so scared of, with him being gone… I just am.

Derringer Meryl [gone nutty] Out

*rubs her eyes awake* I am awake!! Quick run down of the weekend. I stayed over at Mandarin’s house and went to Church with Scott. I know there were fifteen billion other intricacies, but this is what happens when I don’t get to blog my immediate impressions. *sighs*

I met another couple of new friends of Scott’s. One married couple, and one not married girl. *rolls her eyes at herself* Another bad flaw of mine, immediate Jealousy. Blah. If it isn’t because all of these wonderful people got to know and grow up with Scott– it’s for other reasons. I’m not really willing to shed light on. It’s not hard to pop me back out of Jealous mode though, especially not with Scott. No Siree. I just look him in the eyes and think to myself “You’re gonna marry him. And you love him SOOOO much. He loves you too. Remember?” and then I do. Then I’m alright.

We played a few games. I seem to have caught a permanent chill though *is currently shaking like a leaf* which could be bad.I liked the games, and I’m sure I could get better at them over time. I’m not great at all the games I play, but normally I play. I refused double dash because they were playing in teams, and I have only played VS and so I didn’t want to screw any one up. They played Dance dance, which Scott and I sucked at together, *smiles*

The next day Scott and i went to his family’s ward. It was nice. I have to admit they all seemed much nicer than my ward. Not that my ward is bad, they just can be really aloof sometimes. After Church we went and had some lunch, which was good, because at that point i had been fasting for over 24 hours (fasting, not eating…. whatever. I swear I’m not anorexic, and if you could see me, you’d know that it was true.) so I was feeling pretty ill. I considered asking Scott to take me home early from Church, but after our first meeting he reminded me that we needed to go visit Shelly and Ty. So I was alright. I just sorta… ignored my body. We went and met his friends. And then we headed back out to my house, where we had a few pictures taken. Not all of them are the most flattering of me, but Scott looks pretty dang cute in all of them 🙂 Very foxy. We went down and walked around temple Square. Sat in front of the Christus for two and a half english sessions, one spanish, and two German. I think the first German one wasn’t loud enough, so they played it again. Heh. Anyway. I love sitting there. I’ve never been inside (the actual inside, waiting rooms don’t really count) the Salt Lake Temple, and only in the Jordan River Temple once. But the Christus is one of my favorite places to go. I hadn’t been in so long. *sighs*

we came back and watched A Walk to Remember and had additional commentary from Dax. I couldn’t really kick him out of the common space basement, especially since he was there first, and he was doing homework. So I just tried to deal with it. Like Scott says, we had a tickle fight, but I lost, just like he says. I blame it on poor muscle tone and small hands on my part. *nods, then shifty eyes* And maybe I wanted to lose, that’s up to you to figure out. 😀

Anyway, i have schoolage, and what not. I’m exhausted from the weekend, so I’m going to go catch up on a few more z’s. 🙂

Derringer Meryl [Not So lonely Nights] Out