Undone

That’s right, you heard it from scott first (I had GS work) that I’ve been hired on at USPS area of Convergys. It makes me happy, and I even found a flaw in the system they were using for screening…

That impressed the interviewer.

With an increase in time and money, Scott and I are much happier. Though, I do have to go through an extensive background check (silly government peoples) So Yeah. Mom, start lookin’ for a government certified birth certificate. I need it. Really. Or I can be fired… or something like htat. I need to pass a drug test… *sighs* Peeing in a cup, woot. Or… not really.

Oh if someone gets in contact with Mar-say, I put her down as referring me to Convergys. (So If you get money, you know who to split it with… Hint… hint.)

Lets see. I’m giddy happy at the idea of getting the hell out of this place– and I want to take pictures of the hellish place I lived in so i can tell my kids how freakishly lucky they are, and I can remember what I started from, and how much I LOVE working at convergys for getting me the heck out of the place. 🙂

Derringer Meryl [Gonna go Celebrate] Out

Scott apparently wasn’t feeling up to par this morning, but I forgive him (not that I really think he noticed I was ticked) for being ill (since I consider his lack of sleep his fault.

About the interview(s)… yeah, So I went to Myfamily.com today, and did my first interview. The first girl I talked to was very enthusiastic and enjoyed my personality and we seemed to mesh. So much that I didn’t even get asked all the questions on the chart for our interview before she decided that I should talk to her supervisor (I think) about getting a job right away. This happens to be an odd perdicament for me… possibly the first time in my life I’ve related more to a woman than a man when it comes down to an interview. I think I was uberly uneasy because we were in a room alone together. Not that I couldn’t have taken the freakish shrimp if he had tried anything, I just feel weird. I realize I’m alone with my male co-workers all the time, but I think this just felt different. There are windows on my store, so if any molestation happened, I could just run out. THere were weird locks, and if you’ve ever worked (or been to) a call center place, those things are like mazes. I was so confused. Blah. There weren’t many people around either.

So, I was a tad bit more nervous for my second interview. (Read: FREAKINGLY nervous) Scott doesnt’ really want me to work for Myfamily.com because it’s really far south (south provo. fourty five minutes away. ick.) and because apparently they suck. All I want, is a new job, because GS isnt’ cutting it.

I pretty much want to do anything that pays enough to get me out of the basement.

Derringer Meryl [lovin’ you] Out

I’m lazy, So I don’t want to figure out what’s up with my lame a (as in the letter) commentin system at the moment.

Tomorrow I have an interview with Myfamily.com (a lot like convergys) and then on thursday I have an interview with the one and only convergys.

I’m not going to say that working for convergys is what I want to do. Or any telemarketing of any kind really… but dang it, apartments that are under $200 are few and far between. And fucking beggers can’t be choosers. (Right Sukie?) And honestly if I can make $8 bucks an hour to do mindless work– I’m set. It’s what I do now, only it pays better with either of those companies. 😀

Great, eh?

Plus, I plan on taking a picture of the basement I live in now (and someday my new apartment *sigh*) and putting them in my purse to take to work everyday, to remind me of where I’ve been, and what I NEED/WANT to keep.

Someday, I want my own Washer and Dryer and refridgerator… and someday, an okay car. Ya know nothing new or flashy … (read: not like Scott’s) just a $600 car, or something. all i need is automatic and AC.

😀 alright. I’m watchin’ I robot… umm yeah.

Derringer Meryl [still nervous about interviews] Out

I have been carelessly flipping through the want ads reading each one, checking off the ones I like.

And I’ve been listening to the new Avril CD while I’ve been doing that, and honestly I”ve decided that some regular words are worse than cuss words. Like Shit. That word means nothing to me. It’s poo. whoopdidoo. I don’t care.

The word broken brings me to my knees though. (Isn’t it odd that my page says broken but still good on it?) I hate that word. It makes my stomach churn. Makes me want to die inside.

Reminds me of another time. I think my disconcern now, my distress and deflatedness is me trying to mesh my life with Scott’s as best as I can, and I just get tired of it sometimes, and I just break down sometimes. That other time. I remember rolling over in bed at night and repeating to myself that I was broken and that no one wanted me. That’s why everyone left me eventually. Honestly i realize that everyone has to leave sooner or later, physically. I couldn’t keep the Specialist, and Wudan around forever. I couldnt’ keep things the way they were before. (I realize now that change can be good, because they left I became WAY close with Dax, which I think ROCKS. I always wanted to be really close with at least one of my sibs.) I just …

I told myself that all the time. Scott said something the other day that sent me over the edge of my momentary sanity … I dont’ think I”ll really devulge it, for privacy’s sake, but …. honestly– i wanted to scream. It was so– it reminded of me back then. Rolling around in my bed saying I was broken. Crying myself to bed, because no one wanted me.

Everyone has their little secrets they keep– (No, I don’t light the fires while the city sleeps)

Mine was (still is sometimes) that my brain likes to make me believe that i’m dirt. I think a lot at that point it’s satan. I can’t say for sure, Honestly I don’t think it’s a satanic presence, but — whatever. Chemicals–

Derringer Meryl [Feeling Better] Out

I feel stressed. Very very stressed. I need a good job. I need a great job. I need a brain numbingly good job.

I think i’m getting worse– just wanting to stay with Scott and Scott only. I’m getting obscenely rude and moody.

I don’t know what is going on. I don’t know how i feel. Except angry. Very angry.

*sighs*

Derringer Meryl [Tired] Out