Undone

I thought I’d post, I usually post after work, and since I can’t sleep, I thought I better.

I ache everywhere. My ankles, my knees, and my poor hips.

Ouch.

I had a good time at work today, dispite how slow it was, I got to work with a lot of people (as in co-worker people) and I got to talk to a nice guy. He’s a regular, anime-guy I’ll call him, because he’s the anime-guy, and he knows practically everything. He’s very sweet, and not so shallow like the other guys. Very rare.

We’re training an MIT (Manager In Training) and she’s very nice. I got some extra hours cause I was a good little girl, and I can pout with the best of them. 🙂 Trust me, no one can say no to my pouty face, not even… umm I dunno the Pope.

Nope, he couldn’t, he’d let me get away with… a lot of bad stuff, and I’d pout and get out of it.

I’ve been all shakey today. I hate that. Shakey shakey. Oh and I found out that I may be (Very high possibility) lactose intolerant. I think thats how you spell it… anyway. That sorta isn’t too fun because I love my Ben and Jerry’s. I don’t know what i’ll do when i get all sad–

I can’t have my B&J’s. *sobs*

You can never be too rich or too….

Thin, the blood has run out

Fangs ruin any cute pout

Morning has come now they’ve flown

What have you learned from what has been shown?

I love that song Translyvanian Concubine By Rasputina and Manson. I don’t listen to Manson much, but this song, is one of my favorites. Well it is now. I love that. I love how i can change favorite songs. Last week it was Sometimes it Hurts and this week it’s Translyvanian Concubine. I love music. All kinds

My best friend is moving in… did I tell you that all ready? more than likely yes. my room is all ready for her, but it feels all odd without her there, just cause there’s a large space for her bed, and no — her! 🙂 I miss her.

dare I say I’m possibly the most tired person in the world, who cannot sleep. Okay so I take that back, cause i’m sure there’s amother out there who has lost her daughter or ahh something like that.

That’s sad. No more sad. I like happy.

There’s something I never thought i’d say. I like happy. I like happy thoughts and happy things. For the most part, well no. People might think Vampires are sad things, but I am happy when I think of vampires, so I like happy things like vampires. so ha! my brain is slowly decaying. Bye bye brain…. lol

The things that make me happy, might make someone else sad. like… chocolate. that might make some girl who can’t eat it sad. right? I’m sure. >_<;; I’m slowly falling asleep at the computer.

Bad Idea.

I just want to write a lot and make my entry long. I miss making long entries. It’s something I enjoy.

All the things that form their lives, but they’re….

Dead, their sighs, their songs

They know what they do is wrong

*sigh* I suppose I should go for now. I’m so right out tired. I should take some tylenol…

Derringer Meryl [Translyvanian Concubine] Out

I had a little bit of a bad day.

Oh– well it was a really bad day.

My tarot didn’t read out well, and my horoscope screwed me, but all is fair in–

the paranormal?

Maybe i just vest too much faith in them? Not that I believe that they are right, cause on the fourth of July it said I’d get some romance vibes, and I totally didn’t, so I really don’t. Now I just do it for fun.

Really.

I had a long day at work at which I got chewed out, and HE didn’t even stand up for me, [lamely] Oh my Hero [/lamely] i mean really how hard is it to just say “Hey, she’s been doing better, I think you should lay off.” Not too hard, no major risks in doing such, so — so what? So I don’t understand why he didn’t do it.

And you don’t seem to understand

A shame you seemed an honest man

And all the fears you hold so dear

Will turn to whisper in your ear

And you know what they say might hurt you

And you know that it means so much

And you don’t even feel a thing

*sighs* I don’t know what to do [Btw:Lain: Duvet Seen above] about love and everything. I feel sentenced to a never ending heck of singleness

My own fault, I’m sure. *frowns* Oh I entered a new feature, copyright Imood.com. It shows my mood as of currently. [I update daily, sometimes when I don’t even update here.] It’ll tell you a brief smidgen of how i’m feeling. usually a little poem, or something like that.

I love my little faces I can put down there, and they have like a gazillion different smiles and moods to choose from.

I think I just need a white dot for me. I feel like a white dot.

^_^;; I have to work with HIM tomorrow.

Derringer Meryl [Help me to breathe] Out

So i happen to still be sick. However add to the constant coughing the possibility with each coughing spree a nosebleed that lasts about a half an hour.

Not so much fun.

So I missed work.

Then I had horrible panic attacks all day that I would be fired. I usually can reason my little worries and what not away with some confidence with the people around me. I ask them the question that’s bothering me, and they reassure me. That’s how it NORMALLY works.

Except today.

They all agreed that it was a serious possibility that I could get fired.

To them I say a great big thank you. Nothing like panicking a person who has Anxiety disorders.

REAL great Idea.

The whole Idea was bleed all over stuff and cough on the air I breathe at work, or stay home and do the same.

I chose to stay home. I could have went. Maybe I should have. I wish I had someone to comfort me. That is other than my Cat, who is currently on my lap. While a cat is comforting, I wish he could talk. And yes that might be a little freaky– I enjoy the thoughts of a talking cat.

*Thinks about how often her silent cat is around her*

Never mind. Talking Cats are a very bad idea.

A boyfriend who is sensitive and straight is better.

I worry that every phone call is my boss firing me. Telling me that I’m not a team player…. that I’m not doing what I should.

Oy.

I’m so grouchy too. I don’t feel like talking– I just want someone to say that I don’t have to worry about HAVING a job at 17, that it’s okay that I just have to worry about highschool stuff, like the prom and whether I’m nice enough.

I don’t need to worry about a car, any kids, a job, or anything else.

Why was my childhood squandered? oh right i had no choice, and since it’s been robbed I’ll just become the cold hearted bitch that hates the person who stole it.

I can’t live life– it’s been stolen from me. ITS TOO LATE.

Derringer Meryl Out