Undone

My former teacher issued a challenge to write every day in my blog for the month of november. Well due to the fact that I didn’t blog yesterday (november 2) I’ve failed. DUN DUN DUN! But hey, it’s all for fun, so why not.

Today was pretty chilly on the way to work. I got kicked out of bed by Katie fairly early on. I wish she would give up the paci and sleep with out it.

The view from my window is gorgeous, as usual. Katie had a great halloween, we had fun at a party. I was a bit cranky at the end, and I’m sorry for that. I got to chat with The Specialist’s fiancee, which was nice. I still haven’t met her, and i seem to be the one person in the universe who hasn’t 🙁 It makes me a little sad, but at the same time I have to keep it in check because I have to deal with the consequences of my choices.

I am enjoying the tunes of Hare Hare Yukai. Thinking about all the housework that needs to be done at home. Wishing I were there to do it. LOL that’s sick, right?

I am happy about things, in general. Sure If i could play things out I wish I had done a few things different… but there is no point in wishing for things to be different… You can’t change the past, only the future, and you can only control yourself, no one else. So I will do my best– I will wokr hard to let go of some of the hard feelings in my heart.

Derringer Meryl [So this is growing up] Out

With an amazing baby. I think a lot of stuff when it comes to people thinking their kids were “predestined” to come in a specific order and such is hogwash. Mostly because i’m a bit bitter about being the youngest. It’d be nice (in a way) for there not have to be a ‘last’ baby, but there always is in every family. In any case… as I watch Katie parade around the house with her carefully swaddled Hello Kitty Doll, i think of the MILLION of times I asked my mom to do that for me, and when she did eventually teach me how to do it for myself… and I think of Katie’s UNENDING love for Babies. I believe that Katie was destined to be an older sister.
Last night as we were sitting at our friend’s home she saw their baby and immediately held her hands out to hold it. Maybe i”m a weird mommy, or something– but Katie takes a shine to babies. ALL babies. She acts really– well mature in a lot of ways. Age means nothing to her, everyone is a play mate no matter how big ore small. I do need to teach her better about not going for the eyes… she has a bit of an eye fettish…. in any case… she held her arms out for our friends baby, who I took (katie was sitting in my lap) and she was  just in awe. She loves all babies. She loves all kids. Is it a wonder that we are supposed to be more like children and a bit less like adults? (and I mean a Minnesota bit.) She is amazingly patient (Scott would probably scoff at that, she pitches plenty of fits!) but she will wait if she can see what you’re doing. 🙂

I have felt a bit uneasy as of late. I got some slightly upsetting news and felt pretty down about myself. Correction down ON myself. I am my biggest arch enemy.  (Which duh, I know what buttons to press to make myself sink into a depression) I am worried what will happen, how our lives here will change, how we will cope and adjuts… but seeing Katie proudly tote her Hello Kitty baby around makes me feel a bit better.  Her vocabulary is expanding by leaps and bounds with such things like giraffe, eyes, MOM (she finally said it about me, though it’s not a regular occurance) She can say bella, and Kitty, Daddy… she’s getting there. It’s amazing to watch her grow. My little mimic who will sit on my lap at any given moment, who was typing on our spare keyboard just because she likes to mimic the clicky noises that mine is making by writing this entry. She is clever and a trouble maker. She is a bit stubborn, but is an amazing helper when needed as well. She loves NPH and Joss Whedon, and we enjoy a round of Dr. Horrible at least once a week. She gives sweet Kisses, and loves to hug me when I come home from work.  I look forward to that hug all day.

I do have to wonder now– how will that all change now?

Derringer Meryl [Life as we know it] Out

Like I”m getting myself worked up again, over nothing as usual. Which is ok. Please be advised though, that I forsee tantrums on the horizon.
I will work hard to get a picture of Katie in her Cutie costume. Also, if you want to help with Mandarin’s Present, please let me know.

I’m going to go sulk so I can get it out of my system. I’m feeling vicious.

( ) Been to Florida
(X) Been lost
( ) Been on the opposite side of the country
( ) Gone to Washington, DC
(X) Swam in the ocean
(X) Cried your self to sleep
( ) Played cops and robbers
(X) Recently colored with crayons
(X) Sang Karaoke/Tried
(X) Paid for a meal with coins only
(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t
(X) Made prank phone calls
(X) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
( ) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
(X) Danced in the rain
(X) Written a letter to Santa Claus
(X) Been kissed under the mistletoe
( ) Watched the sunrise with someone you care about
(X) Blown bubbles
(X) Gone ice-skating
( ) Been skinny dipping outdoors
(X) Gone to the movies

1. Any nickname: Meryl, Mergylissa, Pants
2. Mother’s name: Karla
3. Favorite drink? Rum and Coke 😉
4. Any Tattoo’s? No
5. Body piercing’s? Ears Though I think they’ve grown over
6. Do U love your job? Yes
7. Ever seen or been in a tornado? No
8. Favorite vacation spot? Disneyland
9. Ever been to Africa? No
10. Ever eaten cookies for dinner? Yes
11. Been on TV? Yes
12. Ever stole a traffic sign? No
13. Ever been in a car accident? Yes.
14. Drive a 2-door or 4-door vehicle? Four Door.
15. Favorite salad dressing? Ranch
16. Favorite Pie? Coconut Cream
17. Favorite number? 15
18. Favorite movie? It’s a close call. Serenity though I think. Or Walk the Line.
19. Favorite holiday? Christmas
20. Favorite dessert? German Chocolate Cake.
21. Favorite food? Well Prepared Chicken Enchilladas
22. Favorite day of the week? Monday. Shockingly. I get to spend the most time with Scott.
23. Favorite brand of body wash? Anything that’s Vanilla or sugarish smelling
24. Favorite Toothpaste? I don’t even care. whatever works.
25. Favorite smell? Katie after a bath, or Scott’s Deoderant 😀
26. What do you do to relax? Budget. It’s like Zen.
27. How do you see yourself in 10 years? 😉 Where I am now, with more kids. At least one more.
28. How many siblings do you have? 4
29. Furthest Place you will send this message? Virginia (physical location of my server)
30. Who will respond to this the fastest? – Banana.

We went to Boo at the Zoo. FUN! I will admit in the future we will be going to the zoo on a MUCH less busy day, but hindsight is 20/20. Next year will be more fun. Scott and I were thinking that a Zoo pass for us as a family next year for katie’s B-day might not be a bad Idea. She seemed to enjoy the animals (when she wasn’t distracted by the kids) she was VERY afraid of the large ape sculpture (not sure why.) She can say Giraffe, and she called the Tiger a Kitty. She got to see it swimming in the pool. We also looked at some very angry looking cougars (the animal, not the old attractive woman) and had lunch with Lashes, Codeweaver, Drama Queen and the kids. Katie knocked my drink all over their oldest, which was fun times. Katie chose to be a cheerleader instead of little bo peep, which was fine. We had the other outfit, and it work out great. I’ll post pictures later of her outfit, and her fun times at the zoo.  I started feeling pretty sick at the end, so sorry if I bit anyone’s head off. Mostly I think i was a bit snippy with Scott and DQ 😉

After the zoo, we went and hung out at my parent’s house for a while, Scott Zonked (and rightly so) and I drove home sans glasses (because they are still broken. Poor me.) We got home safely though, so that’s good. Sunday we got up in time for Church, but Scott was exhausted, so i settled in to unpack a little and watch some quality anime. Speaking of anime, I find it interesting that I watched FMA before we had Katie, and thought “Wow, what a tame Anime, there isn’t much violence in this at all, and it’s such a compelling story!!” and now I”m watching it going “Wait, i don’t remember it being this violent! Sheesh!” somewhere in the midst of cleaning and watching Anime, Katie found my rotary blade and sliced her thumb up right nicely. So I hurried and washed it out, and put pressure on it. poor baby! she cried and cried. I sliced my hand with one of those when I was little (actually to be honest, I was like… 8, and it was the same blade) Scott was asleep, so I got him to go get the bandaids and Katie’s pacifier… and some tylenol. Poor kiddo!  the rest of the day was spent telling her NOT to chew on the bandaid, and organizing DVD’s.

I”ve been increasingly snippy/rude lately. I’m sorry for anyone I may have offended. I hope to keep myself under better control in the future.

Ok, So I love this song, I probably shouldn’t, but I really enjoy it 3OH!3 Don\’t Trust Me

I’m feeling: A bit Jaded.

I’m super tired, Katie woke up this morning at 5:30 or so, and was very very grouchy and active. I tried to sleep through it, but it’s hard. Poor Katie has parents who sleep all the time. I’m hoping I can scrape some energy together tonight to cook dinner (ravioli again)

we got my car fixed. It was the crankshaft. Apparently the sensor wasn’t responding aaand… It was making things weird. The car wouldn’t start twice, and died in an intersection once. I’m glad the car is working again.

I was excited for the Twilight movie, like REALLY excited, but then again — I remembered I can’t just leave Katie at home, so I won’t be going to see it on opening night. Not that anyone really cares– Most people (Besides drama queen, and jen, and my mom) don’t even read Twilight. But I love it.

I did a mini- Christmas list. I don’t really want that much this year. I can’t think of anything really. I’m sure Scott will come up with something good. He always wants such specific things that I can’t ever get it right w/o a Christmas list.  You know what I would love to have in my stocking?

Yeah I know I”m crazy. I love having coffee mate in my Hot Chocolate (my preferred Beverage for the holiday season) I’m getting really stoked about Christmas this year. I realize it’s not even Past Halloween — and that i”m totally jumping the gun. But what can I say– I love the holiday season.

I’ve been trying to debate on how we’re working out Thanksgiving this year. I thought about inviting both Scott’s and my family’s over for thanksgiving, but as I was discussing it with Jen, that’s 18 people! I’m not sure where I could fit 18 people. Then I thought Well Maybe I could just do Scott’s family since we all promised Lorna having Thanksgiving with her this year… But then I felt bad about not having thanksgiving with both families. If I were to fix even a portion of thanksgiving at our house, i would be far too tired to drive up to SLC to have pie, or even just to hang out. I feel torn in a way. Since Christmas is mostly Presents/hanging out and not eating, we make it to both family’s houses easily. But eating and cleaning at our own house and then going up to SLC– I’m exhausted just thinking about it. I’m not sure what I”m going to do, I got frazzled just making chicken enchillada’s for Conference. :-S And I won’t even discuss the hockey puck cinnamon roll disaster. STUPID CINNAMON ROLLS! I’ll KILL THEM!

I’m Slowly plugging away at transferring my entries over. SLOW and steady. 😉 Maybe by the end of october? I sure hope so. I need to take and get Katie’s pictures taken in her Little bo peep costume. We’re going up to the Zoo on Saturday, and then probably to mom and Dad’s 😉 So they can see her costume too.  (or maybe the other way around? I’m not sure. So indecisive today.)

Have I mentioned I have amazing views from my desk window? I can see such pretty foliage outside, it’s awesome.

Derringer Meryl [ The horror of our Love]