Undone

Even though my job can be hard and wearing sometimes (like today)… I am grateful for my job. I have worked worse places (I HAVE.) and I have worked for less. (in fact a lot less) I love it here a lot of the time.

The job wouldn’t be so damn bad if it weren’t for the freakin’ customers.

Derringer Meryl [job] Out

I was just thinking about how being a working mommy is hard. I was thinking about how there MUST be other women in my ward who are also working as I know other working mommies exist (I have several friends who are working mommies, and several co-workers as well) However I began to think of my ward and how I’d say there are probably 10 mom’s that are my age in my ward… and out of them, I don’t believe any of them work!

So much for that idea!

Derringer Meryl [a dying breed] Out

Scott FINALLY (as in we’ve been waiting since late June) got approved to get a pump. It should be here monday. We are both metaphorically doing the snoopy dance. I’m glad he’ll get some good sleep before i go back to work and that I won’t have to wonder if he’s passed out from getting a sugar low. he’s happy that he gets to feel human again instead of what passes for human when you have to shoot up insulin at every turn.

I’m not looking forward to this week being my LAST week out. I would take the month of September too if I could, but unless 2 paychecks worth of cash suddenly drops into our laps, it’s not going to happen. Oh well. I’m grateful that I got more time with Audrey than I did with Katie. I’m also grateful for the time I”ve got to spend with Katie. She’s not potty trained by any extent of the mind, but she does ask to go Potty on occasion…. which is a milestone. I’m not going to push potty training on her any too fast. It’d be nice not to have to buy diapers… but I don’t have the energy to ask her every 20 minutes if she needs to pee.

Mom’d!

I’ve been watching The Guild online, and immensely enjoying it. I told Scott I think Felicia Day is hot, which she is, however I immediately followed it up with that I think I’m pretty dang awesome too. In case you don’t follow Biggest Loser Friend Edition, I’m doing fairly well on my weight loss. I think so anyway. I’m feeling good about it.  I’m also trying to be good about my intake and what not, I’m not perfect, but I’m trying to do what I can. …

Which brings me to the addiction I don’t want to admit I have. Diet Coke. to be specific, I like fountain Diet coke the best, where it’s fizzy but not bottled fizzy. For some reason the maverick near my house has CRAPPY diet coke. Don’t ask me why. It’s horrible. I have to say that the Wendy’s near my house has the BEST diet coke. I try to see how long I can go without one… it’s hard. I’m not addicted to the caffeine, but I just love the taste and the fizz. Scott thinks I”m crazy, and i can see why. I could drink anything I want and I choose one of the only things he CAN drink, it’s boring. Though I will heartily admit that a creme soda, or a fruity soda is my fav, Raspberry or strawberry preferably… but those are hard to find. A local eaterie has red creme soda, and I die nearly every time I eat there. I race the take out guys (I do this every place I do take out actually) to finish the drink before they can get my food so I can have a refill. Other places like Beans and brews I try to pace myself so that I don’t drink it too fast, try and savor it… it’s still usually gone by the time I hit the freeway. Dang it. I wish I could get a 44 oz raspberry creme soda. I think next time I do a grocery run I might snag some raspberry drink and coffee creamer and see how that works (liquid creamer, small since it’s a test) If it works well, then maybe I can wean off of the diet coke. I find that now days I can go w/o eating, but I MUST have a drink…. not that I starve myself… I just would rather drink than eat. Weird right?

I should probably be sleeping since katie is napping and audrey is passed out… still. I will need to get Katie up soon so she doesn’t wake up in the middle of the night…. also I have to stay awake to make sure Scott gets to work on time.

Did I mention our cooler died? it did. No good. It still blows air, but it’s not cool. we’re thinking the pump is kaput. we’re going to look into it tomorrow… hopefully! I don’t think i can last ALL day w/o a cooler! Lorna has offered a window cooler if we don’t get it fixed though. So here’s hoping.

I went in for my 6 week appt, all was well, Dr said everything looked like it had healed really well. No offense to him, but I don’t think he was as good as my old OB who was apparently SO magic that he couldn’t even see the scar from my section with Katie. I dont’ think I’ll have that problem this time. It’s not ugly, it’s just not invisible.

My Twilight book has now become so worn from readings/Katie Beatings (that is the beatings Katie gives it, I don’t whack my daughter with a hardback book. Or really at all.) that the cover is coming off. 🙁 No not the dust Jacket. While I enjoy dust Jackets, I mean the hardback binding is broken, and I hate it. Scott is hating having to read it, I put forth a valiant effort IMO to like his book. It’s not my kind of thing, but I found things about the book to discuss with him. I’m trying to draw him out on discussing Twilight as his only statement so far has been “All the men are written like women and it’s clear she didn’t get any masculine input regarding the characters. I know she at least talked to her brothers about the cars, so there  😉

Anyway. I think I’m fairly unapproachable about twilight criticism. I don’t know why it’s one of the few things I feel really passionate about. Worry not fair people. I soon will have a new favorite thing (not unlike Xena, Buffy, and now Twilight) and you will all be released from hearing me blather on about it.

I’ve been toying with the idea for a book myself. I also have been toying with theidea of getting a journal so I can flesh out some of the characters. The only problem is all I have are villains, and no hero. Maybe they can be antiheros? Mmm. maybe not. they’re just unique villains. Maybe it’s not really a book idea at all… just characters I keep in my head.

At some point I’d like to be published. You know … not just internet-I-run-my-own-blog published. Like really write something and have it be published and make money. I would write just about anything… I’d write in a magazine, an online magazine, a collection of short stories, a novel, a comic book, a movie, whatever. I would love to write. I haven’t really written anything since I got married. I’ve even had a hard time blogging regularly… I suppose I think i don’t have much that is interesting to say…. However I do like hearing myself talk.

Derringer Meryl [annoyingly so] OUt

Despite what I’ve said in the past and how I felt in the past, I’m starting to get really excited to have this baby. I think a lot of the hesitation I felt with Katie (I felt unprepared and unaware… and nervous! I’d never had a baby before!) is pretty much gone. Now I’m just excited to watch another baby grow like I’ve watched Katie. it’s completely bitter sweet.  We’re still thinking on names, not completely set, though we are leaning towards one that the Ballerina suggested, simply because we thought it was cute, and well, we’re cute people. 😉

Still on a desperate hunt for middle names. I’m wanting to keep the Japanese middle name alive, which sounds completely STUPID as Scott and I are white as white can be (both of European decent) but people have thought I was asian before (why? I don’t know.) so I like to pretend in my mind sometimes. LOL.

Life has been busy and hectic. My workload has… quadrupled, unfortunately. So it doesn’t leave alot of time for blogging and chatting and being… sociable. So if I ignore your chat or something it’s because i’M trying desperately to focus on the customer. We’re hoping that things will settle down for us eventually. But if we’re busy it means we aren’t being fired. so that’s a good point. 😉

Scott got a new car, which he loves. He misses his little red sports coup quite a bit, but at the same time it wouldn’t fit two carseats, so upgrade we must!

I better get back to it.
Derringer Meryl [blah blah blah] Out

Now, you might be saying “Isn’t it kind of dumb to rant about work on a server your work place owns?” and the correct answer would be yest, in most cases.  However I’m not bitching about my employer, so much as some of the employees.

I work in a fairly small office. 2 bosses, 7 underlings (including me) not huge. and we all pretty much understand the rules of an office so small. You don’t step on toes, and you try to respect everyone and not leave anyone high and dry.

This year (2008) has been the year of “Screw you guys, I’m going on vacation” Now, there have been some legitimate cases of Vacation and sickness and what not, but it seems to me that when 4 people have a day requested off (in an office of 7) one more person shouldn’t jump on the boat. Well they do, and it’s really starting to PISS me off. My job isn’t hard, it isn’t challenging. it’s nice and simple. I LOVE my job. I just think there should be some solidarity among co-workers. A kind of “no man left behind” thing. I don’t know. I have spent my fair share of nights working alone on the 5-7 time period. it’s not HARD to do the job alone, it’s just ANNOYING to do it alone.

And it would be nice that if I’m the one left holding the bag because I’m dependible and stuff, that I could maybe take a day off or two by myself and not feel guilty. Maybe I would stop feeling so guilty about it if I weren’t so mad when other people took time off. RANDOM “LA-DI-DA” time off.  like “I don’t have a care in the world about any of my co-workers and the fact that they’ve covered my ass time and again when I have needed time off, or just damn well taken it.”

I’m not a selfish person, ladies and gentlemen, but it occurs to me, around this time of year, that the number of people who have my back over their own is startlingly low. I am a loyal diehard person.

Sometimes it would be nice if someone were looking out for me — instead of themselves…. since I apparently have too much guilt to look out for myself.

Derringer Meryl [Guilty as Charged] Out