In case you haven’t heard

Scott FINALLY (as in we’ve been waiting since late June) got approved to get a pump. It should be here monday. We are both metaphorically doing the snoopy dance. I’m glad he’ll get some good sleep before i go back to work and that I won’t have to wonder if he’s passed out from getting a sugar low. he’s happy that he gets to feel human again instead of what passes for human when you have to shoot up insulin at every turn.

I’m not looking forward to this week being my LAST week out. I would take the month of September too if I could, but unless 2 paychecks worth of cash suddenly drops into our laps, it’s not going to happen. Oh well. I’m grateful that I got more time with Audrey than I did with Katie. I’m also grateful for the time I”ve got to spend with Katie. She’s not potty trained by any extent of the mind, but she does ask to go Potty on occasion…. which is a milestone. I’m not going to push potty training on her any too fast. It’d be nice not to have to buy diapers… but I don’t have the energy to ask her every 20 minutes if she needs to pee.


I’ve been watching The Guild online, and immensely enjoying it. I told Scott I think Felicia Day is hot, which she is, however I immediately followed it up with that I think I’m pretty dang awesome too. In case you don’t follow Biggest Loser Friend Edition, I’m doing fairly well on my weight loss. I think so anyway. I’m feeling good about it.ย  I’m also trying to be good about my intake and what not, I’m not perfect, but I’m trying to do what I can. …

Which brings me to the addiction I don’t want to admit I have. Diet Coke. to be specific, I like fountain Diet coke the best, where it’s fizzy but not bottled fizzy. For some reason the maverick near my house has CRAPPY diet coke. Don’t ask me why. It’s horrible. I have to say that the Wendy’s near my house has the BEST diet coke. I try to see how long I can go without one… it’s hard. I’m not addicted to the caffeine, but I just love the taste and the fizz. Scott thinks I”m crazy, and i can see why. I could drink anything I want and I choose one of the only things he CAN drink, it’s boring. Though I will heartily admit that a creme soda, or a fruity soda is my fav, Raspberry or strawberry preferably… but those are hard to find. A local eaterie has red creme soda, and I die nearly every time I eat there. I race the take out guys (I do this every place I do take out actually) to finish the drink before they can get my food so I can have a refill. Other places like Beans and brews I try to pace myself so that I don’t drink it too fast, try and savor it… it’s still usually gone by the time I hit the freeway. Dang it. I wish I could get a 44 oz raspberry creme soda. I think next time I do a grocery run I might snag some raspberry drink and coffee creamer and see how that works (liquid creamer, small since it’s a test) If it works well, then maybe I can wean off of the diet coke. I find that now days I can go w/o eating, but I MUST have a drink…. not that I starve myself… I just would rather drink than eat. Weird right?

I should probably be sleeping since katie is napping and audrey is passed out… still. I will need to get Katie up soon so she doesn’t wake up in the middle of the night…. also I have to stay awake to make sure Scott gets to work on time.

Did I mention our cooler died? it did. No good. It still blows air, but it’s not cool. we’re thinking the pump is kaput. we’re going to look into it tomorrow… hopefully! I don’t think i can last ALL day w/o a cooler! Lorna has offered a window cooler if we don’t get it fixed though. So here’s hoping.

I went in for my 6 week appt, all was well, Dr said everything looked like it had healed really well. No offense to him, but I don’t think he was as good as my old OB who was apparently SO magic that he couldn’t even see the scar from my section with Katie. I dont’ think I’ll have that problem this time. It’s not ugly, it’s just not invisible.

My Twilight book has now become so worn from readings/Katie Beatings (that is the beatings Katie gives it, I don’t whack my daughter with a hardback book. Or really at all.) that the cover is coming off. ๐Ÿ™ No not the dust Jacket. While I enjoy dust Jackets, I mean the hardback binding is broken, and I hate it. Scott is hating having to read it, I put forth a valiant effort IMO to like his book. It’s not my kind of thing, but I found things about the book to discuss with him. I’m trying to draw him out on discussing Twilight as his only statement so far has been “All the men are written like women and it’s clear she didn’t get any masculine input regarding the characters. I know she at least talked to her brothers about the cars, so thereย  ๐Ÿ˜‰

Anyway. I think I’m fairly unapproachable about twilight criticism. I don’t know why it’s one of the few things I feel really passionate about. Worry not fair people. I soon will have a new favorite thing (not unlike Xena, Buffy, and now Twilight) and you will all be released from hearing me blather on about it.

I’ve been toying with the idea for a book myself. I also have been toying with theidea of getting a journal so I can flesh out some of the characters. The only problem is all I have are villains, and no hero. Maybe they can be antiheros? Mmm. maybe not. they’re just unique villains. Maybe it’s not really a book idea at all… just characters I keep in my head.

At some point I’d like to be published. You know … not just internet-I-run-my-own-blog published. Like really write something and have it be published and make money. I would write just about anything… I’d write in a magazine, an online magazine, a collection of short stories, a novel, a comic book, a movie, whatever. I would love to write. I haven’t really written anything since I got married. I’ve even had a hard time blogging regularly… I suppose I think i don’t have much that is interesting to say…. However I do like hearing myself talk.

Derringer Meryl [annoyingly so] OUt


Pretty Scary

Usually, I like to keep my mouth shut about Scott’s scary diabetic things. Mostly because i think it’s embarassing for him, and because it’s quite really not anyone elses business.
But being a hormonal pregnant woman, and being (overall) quite proud of myself this time calling to get assistance.

First of all, let me tell you, I am (and still can be) a diabetic moron. Most people are. For example, I, like most people, used to think “OH he has low blood sugar, let me give him insulin” as if Insulin is some sort of diabetic neosporin and it just makes them feel all better. NO. It doesn’t. Low bloodsugar means he needs to eat, high Blood sugar means he needs insulin. Scott feels sick (as do most diabetics) with high blood sugar. Low blood sugar means non responsiveness, and overall turning into a cold sweaty frankenstein’s monster. Scott doesn’t remember what happens often during his Low blood sugar episodes. This time his sugar (when I got home from work) was 30. I recalled what had happened last time and the operator from 911 had encouraged me to get Scott to eat something. He did this time, however it must have been far too late, as the next two blood draws gave me readings of 29 and 28.

So while all of my insides are going “OMG! my husband is dying right here in my bed, WTH am I going to do?” I have a toddler who is telling me about her blankie and mickey and hello kitty etc etc etc. Luckily for me, DQ hadn’t been feeling good that day, and had came home. I felt bad (only a little, as it was an emergency) waking her up from her nap, to watch katie while I tried again to revive Scott. (BTW< she put really cute braids in Katie’s hair while watching the simpsons. Katie probably didn’t even know there were paramedics upstairs.) Finally it got to the point where I knew i couldn’t do it myself (since I didn’t know where the freaking glucogon kit was, and the operator even asked if he had a kit to use in cases like this. As a note, i do know where it is now.) I was lucky that I knew where his blood testing kit was. Without that I would have been stuck pretty much panicking. Every time I stuck him he got pretty much stuck twice since the first stick never seemed to hve enough blood. Poor guy! Anyway. I called 911, the operator helped me through and I remembered the commercials where the mom is just hysterical because her baby is not breathing, and did my best to keep calm and answer her. I admit that my voice broke a couple of times, but I didn’t cry this time. I opened the door for the police and the paramedics, and made sure Scott stayed breathing. I would say in under 5 minutes I had a total of 6 burly men in my bedroom recussitating Scott. They had me make him a PB sandwich (which he didn’t want, but we got some other food in him) I was aware that they’d have me make him this, Midori made it last time as she was in the neighborhood helping me out.

Scott is fine.ย  He was fine within 10 minutes of them getting there. They’re pros. I’m really greatful to the EMT’s and the police that showed up to help.
I have always had this unfounded (previously) fear that I would come home (even as a kid) and find someone splayed out passed out at my house. I am a pretty anxious person. I usually can dust those fears aside with a “they’re a healthy person, why would mom/dad/brother/husband/daughter etc be passed out?” I had a lot of fears of my parents dying of heart attacks when I was in Jr high and high school, so I stayed home, as if it’d be less traumatic to be at home when it happened. It feels weird to think about it. Scott and I have always been very open about death and about the fact that he will most certainly (according to the odds of him being a man that is older than me with diabetes) die before me, that I”ll have to cope without him. it’s not a comfortable thought. I think though, it would be incredibly ironic if he out lives me. That’d teach him ๐Ÿ˜‰ Seriously though. It’s scary. He’s fine. He was trying to fast to go and do some testing so he can finally replace his pump, and unfortunately his blood sugar just got too low. We won’t be trying the fasting thing again until I’m home to help him go to the hospital for the tests.

in other news. I’m still immensely pregnant. my goodness. I feel less huge than I did with Katie, but that’s really not saying much as I was the size of a house roughly with her. Audrey will be here in 13 days or less.ย  Scott and I are hoping for less. I oddly have been wishing to go into labor. People say “Oh why?!” but if you have a child without going into labor (a child that you carried yourself, in your womb) you might understand the surreal feeling it is to lay down, and then poof magic there’s a baby. Even my OB asked me if I was really sure i had a c-section (In reference to my scar, he says it’s barely noticable.) I said we were all there (referencing myself Scott and Katie who were all in the room.) Also a lot of moms who do not experience labor and delivery have a hard time Bonding with their child. I’ll admit, I experienced some PPD that I wasn’t expecting from the choice I made.ย  I would never trade a happy healthy Katie for anything, but I wish I had known better back when I was pregnant with her. This time, I again made the choice for a c-section (it was my choice, 100%) as I liked my doctor and I DO NOT like the feeling of being passed from doctor to doctor at a office. ๐Ÿ˜› That kind of stuff is for the birds. I’m not super knowledgable about child birth or anything, but I know that this time, Audrey has her little head down, and hopefully I can dilate a little, and go into labor a little– so that I can at least say “I’ve done that.”
Derringer Meryl [Smattering] Out

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Im so smooth

Happy April Fools, everyone. Scott already pulled his trick on me. *sighs* I don’t think it was very funny, but that’s probably because I”m such a worry wart.

he faked fainting after complaining (not necessarily the right word here) about being light headed all night. And BOOM he just collapsed while we were standing by the door…. I really freaked. Scott’s a diabetic. And I can pretend i know stuff about it, but I’m really a flying ignorami. I know it means you can’t eat some of the stuff I love to eat … and i know it means that he has to wear an insulin pump, and his sugars can’t get too low, or too high.

This whole fainting thing could have possibly fallen into the whole “unknown about diabetes” area. Especially since my mom has it, but it might as well be an entirely different disease because hers is type two– *sighs*

Scott commented that it looked like my face was thinner. He also picked me up and said it felt like I had lost weight. I find that interesting because I’ve been eating more lately than I used to. I gained five back of the origninal ten I lost (when we first got engaged at the beginning of the month) So i’m not lighter really. He’s very concerned about me eating. Not eating enough– but honestly, I pig out, he’s just not here to see it. (He’ll get to though, with us being married and all…) I ate like a ton today (ton = three meals) which is really abnormal for me. I’m more of a light snacker. It’s really… weird.

Anyway, my brain was just running through what i have to do for class tomorrow, and ran across the fact that I have a presentation in psychology that i havent’ even cracked the book for. :-S

What a welcome distraction Scott is. :”>

Derringer Meryl [It feels just like i’m falling for the first time] Out

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