Sometimes comes up and kicks my booty. I’m going to try and keep this real without getting sad-sacky.


it’s pretty exhausting through. Fighting through the depression. I don’t think it’s wrong on occasion to give in. and just lay around the house and do nothing. As long as I don’t wallow. I don’t have much time to wallow. So usually it’s two days of  “Don’t even ask me to be socially appropriate/touch anything/get dressed” and then I have to pull myself together and go back to work. I think people without depression get this too. Just a weekend to veg. to me, it’s vitally important so I don’t unravel and become BAT SHIT CRAZY.  Which happens sometimes. You know. Craziness.


I try to not flip out.  I’m pretty good now days. I just need time alone.


I do want to start on my quilt. I am consistantly thinking “Maybe today” and then get too tired. But maybe today is the day.


Here’s hoping.

Derringer Meryl [You can’t get me down] out

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I solomnly swear

I am up to no good.

As usual.

Life has been solid and boring. Our new roof and a/c make life worth living though. Scott took me on a SURPRISE date to Captain America and a YUMMY dinner at Texas Roadhouse. On the way to which our tire exploded. Or just went flat. Whatever, we’re glad we’re safe and have good friends to giggle with on the phone when we call for help. Our tire got stuck on the … uh, thing there, and it wouldn’t come off, I called DQ as her husband is a car genius, and they happened to be passing by where we were. Scott was so frustrated he started kicking the tire which eventually loosened the rust from the wheel and we finally got the spare on. Luckily DQ and her Mechanic hubby didn’t have to stop to help us, but I heard them as they passed! 🙂 Thanks to them for being willing to stop and help! PS: When it comes to changing a tire, I’d rather do it in the heat than in the snow. Point 1 for summer. I got to side road navigate us up to South Towne so we could go to dinner, and buy me a new shirt. We got to the theatre early, which was good. I chatted with another girl who was going in momentarily and overall focused on not having a panic attack at the general amount of people in the room. I don’t know why large crowds make me nervous. It is Unreasonable, and I hate it, but It’s usually a matter of people being close enough to touch me. I don’t like random people touching me. NO TOUCHIE! Anyway, we had a good night, and I’m fairly sure I was going to have food triplets! GEEZY.

I have stalled on my Futurama quilt. I really need to buckle down and get it done. REALLY REALLY. I am not doing so well at that though. Every night after the girls go to bed, I think about it. But I never DO it. I need to. I am in this weird funk of “I want do that, but I don’t want to do all the stuff that comes with it.” Like I want to quilt, but I don’t want to get the quilt out and the thread, and the scissors, and then put it all away when I’m done. Also– I thought I knew how to make binding, but I’m thinking I was wrong. I haven’t cut into any of my fabric yet, Luckily, but I’ll definitely need to at some point. (adoi) I’ll probably watch a bunch of youtube videos or something. Hopefully I can get Katie’s quilt done before September. I just have Leela’s face and the space ship left. (PLANET EXPRESS!)

I do often dream of the day  that I no longer work any more. At least outside of the home. I don’t imagine being at home every day is a picnic, but it’s gotta be better than being at work and trying to manage a home and all the things that go a long with it. I am tired of doing too much. Working and managing a house is impossible. I’m not going to think about it– I have dishes that need done, et al, and I can’t think about it when I have a full docket today anyway.

I’m excited for Christmas. NOW NOW! Before y ou throw your arms in the air and say “MERYL REALLY!? It’s not even August yet!!” I say, this is the first job where I get a christmas Bonus. FOR ONE, and for another, I will be instigating the Family Christmas present of Disneyland again this year. I liked it the best. It’s really pretty much the same price. I like it better. I like going some place and relaxing. Not caring, and just taking a week, to chill and be happy in California. I am looking forward to it. It will be a bit more expensive, now that Katie is old enough to get a ticket, but it will also be more FUN. Two princess dresses to wear, two kids to squeal over princesses, TWICE AS MUCH!! And Beignets. OH YES! I must start dieting now. I MUST, to lose weight in time for the trip, so I can buy some new clothes! (haha) Dieting so i can gain it all back in Disneyland! We’re planning on going in March next year. I’m Excited. Can you tell? really really really really REALLY excited.


Derringer Meryl [WHEE!] out



Not an exaggeration

I do (as a pregnant woman) really have to go to the bathroom once an hour. Sometimes I can make it two…but not often. How annoying.

Things have been good here in lala land. I’m pleasantly suprised how much easier (JINX) that this pregnancy has been for me. Don’t ask me why. I can’t imagine everyone has harder first pregnancies. I think not gaining so much weight has really helped. I htink I’m up to like 6 or so lbs, which is good.

This month is crazy. Work has FOR SURE been crazy.  It’s been so stressful and out of whack that my co-workers are dropping like flies that have just been sprayed with heavy duty pesticides. We’re all tired, we could use a week or two off, that’s for sure. I don’t know what’s going to happen to everyone else when I (and another co-worker) go on maternity leave. It’ll be BIZZARE to be here, and probably pretty stressful. I hope our temps have the hang of things by then. I too have been a temp before. So I feel their pain. On the other hand… I wish they knew more. All with time I suppose.

Do I talk about baby stuff too much? Probably. I don’t care. it’s what’s on my mind the most. I can’t help it.  Katie is starting to kind of, sort of grasp that there is a baby in my tummy. We were looking at pictures online today of one of my online buddies that just had a baby, and she had a pic of prior to labor and her baby afterwards, So I showed Katie that she had a baby in her belly like Mommy and that then the baby came out, and i showed her the pictures of the baby. She said “AWWW baby!” and then i told her Audrey is in my belly and will come out soon too. Katie pointed and said “baby!” and I asked her if she wanted to kiss the baby, and she gave my tummy a kiss. She can be so pleasant sometimes…. othertimes NOT so pleasant.

I am trying to kick my crafting into high gear and finish Audrey’s quilt. You should be laughing becase A) I just found my presser foot for my sewing machine earlier this week (or was it last week) and I haven’t even pulled out the material to start working. HAHA HAHAHA. The funny thing? This quilt I had planned for Midori’s some day baby. I bought the fabric because it was cute, and I can’t resist cute. I’m stealing it from Midori though and Audrey is getting it. i guess it’s not really stealing since I hadn’t given it to her yet. LOL.
There was some fabric i was In L-O-V-E with. I cannot find it. I don’t know the maker, i don’t know the name of the pattern. I do know that it was light blue background with yellow cows (jumping over the moon, of course)  pink cats, green dogs, etc etc. It was beautiful. I loved it. I cannot find it anywhere now. I found it originally when Carebear was preggo with squirt. I wanted to get it, but it was one of those fabrics that you see, fall in love with, look at the price, and put back. LOL. Designer, for sure. I would LOVE to have a nursing cover out of it, or … anything. Seriously, anything out of that fabric would be magic. LOL.

Ok I’m distracted now. Must go insearch of that fabric… beauty.

Derringer Meryl [search search search….] Out

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