Undone

Does NO ONE take pride in their work anymore? I mean, you buy some Bootleg anime, and you expect at least for it to play in your fetching DVD player. I have to admit that this is the first time that my DVD player has made sounds of STRAIN while trying to play a dvd. I mean it makes the hummy noises, that are normal, but it whirrs and chokes like death is at it’s door. It’s slightly fitting that the anime i’m trying to play is called Slayers isn’t it?

*sighs* Enough of the complaining about my anime that i’ve been waiting a week to watch, but now however cannot because of the crappiness of the quality. *grrs*

I went to see Brother Bear with Artemis and Dateless (or Undateless, if that makes any sense) The mouth and his ex…. while it felt nice to go and hang out with them, and i was quite pleased that Artemis invited me to come along– the movie BLEW. I think Disney has gone quite downhill, involved too deeply within macabre story lines. Certainly they have stopped producing children’s films and now simply produce them for the necrophiles of the world. It was nice that it was just the five of us in the theatre so we could scream at how stupid it was. The only redeeming part to the film were the canadian Elk (I think they were elk– or caribou i guess… which ever. Moose?? I have no clue… i’m wild animal illiterate) who were a blast. They made you laugh, and forget how dirty you felt watching a film where two of the main characters die within the first half an hour. Happies.

I THOUGHT I lost another contact down the drain… I really did. Then I was sewing today and my brother found it, on the counter. Damn thing went all invisible when it hit the counter, so I couldnt’ find it, i figured it had gone down the drain like it’s predecessor.

Lets see– Um. Poor Marco has Pneumonia (which is quite a kick since I had it too back in the day.) and I made him soup, and his wife some brownies. It was nice to see him, even if it was for five seconds before i had to scoot off to work (which went nicely…)

Anyway– I’m off to see if the nice customer service people are going to take the dang anime back….

Derringer Meryl [No Pride in Workmanship] Out

Late nights. Dont’ you just LOVE them? I know I do. So I could burst into song about how it’s another friday night, and I aint got no body, and what not– but honestly– I’m not with the minding of not having an “Other” right now. stuff gets too confusing when you’re emotionally attached to someone– Or maybe I just make it too confusing. I’m betting on the latter of the two. 🙂

I had an InuYasha-a-thon, with the anime and some fics. Oi. Some of the fics i’ve read in the past few days are very well written, as well as very romantic. *gets all starry eyed* And we all know how Meryl loves a little romance.

My mom and I were talking in the car today about how Jaded I am. I admit it, I’m pretty bitter about romance for loving it so much. I only like romance in cartoons. My mom said that it’s cute, but not believable, I mean, it’s just cartoons, right? Well, see, In cartoons, Romance is perfect. It’s a controlled romance environment. *nods* and in real life, it’s well… real. There’s fighting, and divorces, and adultery, and people sleeping with their babysitters… and rejection. Mind games. I guess it’s easier to be the onlooker. I wish I could always be the onlooker, who helps people out.

*eyebrows furrow* No– I just wish I could have that perspective sometimes when I’m working out my own problems….

*eyebrow twitches* and what is it with guys anyway? I mean– Sheesh. Okay, I apparently can’t even put words to the anger that i’m feeling– so yeah. But I mean– with the not empathy and the not sympathy. Good grief!! Does that kind of stuff just come with estrogen or something? Because I have met very few men who feel sympathy. And you know what? It doesn’t even matter if it’s genuine, just as long as it’s not patronizing… A nod, and a “Man that sucks” or something isn’t that hard of a feat to achieve.

Oh, and the lack of being able to mannerly respond. Like when someone says “How are you today?” and the guy is like “Oh I’m pretty good.” and that’s it. No “How about you?”

I have to admit, I struggle with this one when i’m talking in person, because i’m sorta… introverted, more shy than not…. but I try. Honestly. And the lack of a curious mind, or something. It’s a baited statement when someone says “Man, I’m really not feeling good today” for you to say “Oh, What seems to be the problem” Good freaking gravy. How hard is that?

MY BIGGEST PET PEEVE is when guys check out a girl (not subtly, quite openly with a “How you doin’?” remark and all…) and says how pretty they are, and what part of them is pretty and what not– and does not even mention something that looks nice about you. Hair, Dress, Pants, Shirt, Necklace, shoes, PICK SOMETHING! You’ve got a whole girl in front of you with millions of things you could compliment her on. TRY IT!!

*sighs angrily* I don’t really know where that came from. Honestly. I was happy… and I am happy… except for that damn escapade with my contact… (I went and got a new one, which I will wear tomorrow to work.) I don’t feel like sleeping. I feel like …. not sleeping

My night– *blinks* I was thinking about Kagome and Inu Yasha… and how she loves him, and that he may not be who she wanted. Not who everyone had picked out for her, but he’s there. He’s there for her. And he comforts her, and he protects her…. and he falls in love with her.

and honestly, that’s sorta what I want to. Not so much the ego maniac who wants to kill me (literally) The first time we meet– but someone who is haphazardly placed in a situation with me, that seems — unlikely.

I’d like it to be a little fated feeling. I mean, I dont’ strictly believe in fate…. but– still. It’d be nice.

Ya know?

Derringer Meryl [Raving Loon] Out

So– Yeah.

I have school today. *nods* So. *shifts her eyes rapidly* that’s…. um…. where i’ll be.

Have i ever explained to you that m y brain sucks? FIckle and shifty. I get crushes on the oddest… okay, not oddest…. but i used to be a good girl, who only went after one guy at a time… and now i’m confused. I want

I want

I WANT!!

I want to do this and that

Hey, that’s just how girls are

One slip and it’s to hell you go

So you’d better not get in my way

Yippie for Lina Inverse. She’s my hero! *frowns* I’m more like Gourry than Lina (who is a red personality, whereas Gourry is Blue… 🙂 I wish I was more like her though. I simply have no spine. But that doesn’t mean i’m not loud and obnoxious like her…. 🙂

Derringer Meryl [Aspiring Lina] Out

Once again, it’s a frail-y translated LYRIC SPEW! yeah. So it’s originally Japanese, the Opening song to Full Metal Panic Entitled Tomorrow *smiles wistfully* Here’s to tomorrow. Who knows what it’s going to bring. I hope to have my job, I hope to have all of my family, and I hope to have everything that’s good and right. *raises a glass* Here’s to tOmOrrOw… 🙂

Together we searched for a place to hide

As we ran in the rain

Even if I loose something

There’s one thing I must protect

That’s the meaning of my birth in this world

I’ll go search with you even if it maybe painful

While clinging onto the fresh scenery around us

The prism reflected the orange of

The sunset when the breeze slips through my fingertips

I wish I could devote myself to you so

I want to become more gentle for you

Even if I collect the light which fills this world

Within my pair of hands it’ll light up the darkness

So I won’t get lost as it shines in the long continuous journey.

That’s the meaning of my birth in this world

I’ll go search with you even if it’s painful

While clinging onto the fresh scenery around us

Let’s travel further away

Derringer Meryl [Looking downward to tomorrow] Out

Blah.

People say, “Talking about it will make you feel better.” That’s a lie, because about five minutes after you’ve been talking, they just call you a freakin’ whiner. Can you see how i’m gettin mixed signals here? Besides. I’ve talked and talked and TALKED and i don’t feel ANY better about anything. I feel undone. Like i know how i feel, because i sit and HASH and RE-Hashed how i feel about things, and you’d know that if you’re a regular reader. I think about everything, very much. I’m insecure, i’m neurotic, and a little impulsive. When I feel angry about something, i don’t question that feeling, like i should, I just act on it. (shame on me, you’d think i’d have enough psychology NOT to.)

And I do talk about ME alot in this journal, but while you (the reader) may find bits and pieces of insight, this is mostly for me. Sure, i’m thrilled that people from all around the world read my whining for whatever reason (mostly looking for lyrics, actually) but it’s nice– to occasionally find out how people stumble in here. *points to counter* best thing ever! So you know, i don’t write this blog for you– you might find it insightful, or thought provoking to peak into the mind of a girl– but this is for me. 🙂 I’m just a selfish little bint, aren’t i?

I’ve been watching FMP, Full Metal Panic, which i find to be one of the best anime’s ever. It’s partially a mech anime… but unlike gundam (the most noted Mech Anime) it actually has a storyline that isn’t wound up in the mechs. Basically, it’s a romance, slightly awkward (Ala Love Hina) but i’m supposing they throw the mechs into the mix to keep the guys happy (girls watch for the romance, guys watch for the military mechs. 😉 overall, excellent. Funny, Fan Service (for the Otakus), and an intricate story line, allowing for the a-typical “Pervert” jokes (ala Love Hina) as well as the deep terrorism drama, makes for a very thrilling show. I’d recommend buying it all at once, waiting for all of the DVDS to be released one at a time can be frustrating, since most of the episodes have cliff-hanger endings. 🙂

Anyway, I have a story to write, (Fifty-eight reviews total!) I’m stoked, and hope to thrill my readers, and not disappoint.

Derringer Meryl [Do YOU love Asian DVDS?] Out