Undone

I heard this song, when having a particularly bad day at school, at life for that matter, and It made me all better.

^_^ Thanks to You Good Charlotte, and my ever so cute Chenny Bunny

Yeh, this song is dedicated,To every kid who ever got picked last in Gym class. To every kid who never had a date to no school dance. To everyone who’s ever been called a freak This is for you, Here we go!

Like the time in school where we got free lunch,

And the cool kids beat us up(reduced lunch)

And the rich kids had convertibles,

And we had to ride the bus(55)

Like the time we made the baseball team,

But they still laughed at us(you still suck!)

Like the time that girl broke up with me,

Cause I wasn’t cool enough(TRICK!)

Chorus:

Things, things, here we go!

The little things, little things

They always hang around

The little things, little things

They try to break me down

The little things, little things

They just won’t go away

The little things, little things

Made me who I am today

Bridge:

You wanna hate me now

But I won’t stop now

Cause I can’t stop now

Like the time mom went to the institute,

Cause she was breaking down(I just can’t take it)

Like the car we had that wouldn’t start

We had to walk to get around(can I get a ride?)

And that same year on Christmas Eve,

Dad went to the store(uhh….see you guys later)

We checked his room, his things were gone,

We didn’t see him no more(Dick!)

(Chorus)

(Bridge)

(Chorus)

And it always seems those little things,

They take the biggest part of me, break down,

I’m breaking down, I’m breaking down

I got a prom dress. Very classic in black and corset. However I had to sell my soul to my Mother. This may not sound like a bad thing, but here’s something you don’t understand.

My mother believes that I can’t get married on my own (it’s sad that she’s deeming me an old maid at the tender age of 17) so I have to find someone other than HIM to go with (what that really means…. I have next to no choice to whom I’m going with)

Like I said, sad, but the dress was worth it. I’d LOVE to go with HIM but, mom won’t let me….

And i doubt he wants to go to the prom with someone the same age as his sister. It’s sorta sad. Not incredibly, but somewhat. Not enough to cry.

Speaking of crying…. cause I have been, because…. I sorta ran out of some of my pills. . . . so I’m all shakey and what not.

Anyway–

Derringer Meryl [You wanna hate me now but I won’t stop now] Out

Can I rant? I hope so, cause I am, and I really don’t care either way if you read this or not.

Our schools don’t care if we graduate, we’re stats, numbers on a paper, faces in a numberless crowd. There is no way to know us all, but it’s not like they ever try to anyway. We’re like ants, if one dies or is lost, it is easily replaced by another larve. It’s insane the lack of care and emotion that is felt in today’s schooling.

Why else do kids want to kill everyone around? I know why. Because no one notices before then. No one cares. If you even breathe a word of social frustrations, to anyone, you’re deported to a ‘Special School’ where all the juvvys go. I don’t want to go there, but…..

I can’t say that hurting my classmates hasn’t crossed my mind. I wonder what goes on in their heads, and I hate things that I can’t understand, so they frustrate me. I can’t understand why they do the things they do. WHy they care if they go to the Senior Ball and why they laughed when the Towers fell. I want to know why they act like this. I want to know, and I want someone to explain it to me before I kill them all.

My largest class has fourty in it. *sighs* the school district apparently thinks that an average of 28 students per class room is a quality free education. Even 28 kids is too many, there should be around 20 in each class. Plus you have to take into acount the classes that have set numbers like Student government, literary magazine, etc.

It’s not fair that they pressure us into doing a good job, getting good grades, and then give us a shoddy education to work with. It’s not fair to anyone, especially not the teachers, and the students.

But taht’s okay, it’s not like anyone in the legislature stops to think about that anyway.

I’m not a number

I’m not a statistic.

I’m a living human that demands a good education.

Is that too much to ask??

Derringer Meryl [I ache more places than possible] Out

I’m tired, and I sold my Dance Dance Disney’s Remix today.

Wanna know the significance?

I’m sure you’re just screaming yes, oh yes.

Well It was HIS before I bought it, used of course, and so i’ve sorta held onto it for no particular reason…. other than I’m insane and i am extreme with the stupid-ness.

So Now that i sold it, I suppose i’m smart…. not really. i’m still as dense as ever, just not so attatched to HIM anymore, and that’s okay, cause HE was bad for me anyway….. But in a good way– Does that make sense? He’s a funny guy, and a great friend, but he’d be bad for me as a boyfriend….. that makes sense right? I’m just sorta ummm, distructive as a girlfriend, I (unfortunately) destroy things nearer to me however. (bums out)

Anyway, i was trying to convince my English class today that being apathetic to society is a good thing, and that we all pretty much do it anyway, we might as well admit to it. We were talking about Humanity, and what makes us human, I happened to raise my hand in class and say, “I want to speak on behalf of Bartleby, (a character in the story) Being withdrawn from society allows a life full of joy, free from sorrow and woe. Without the concern and burden of those around us, we can live a carefree and quiet life.”

They didn’t believe me.

I told them I did it everyday. That I’d prefer not to go out to school, or to any place that wasn’t work, but I do, because I HAVE to. There is no preference to it, I must go daily to school. Living withdrawn from society allows you to examine more wholly what society’s ills are, and contemplate them more in depth. There are no concerns for others feelings or emotions, because in your world, it’s just you.

It may be sick– But the Human Dependency on one another is one I tend to free myself of eventually.

I might die trying, but that’s a risk….. I’m more than willing to take.

Derringer Meryl [Ah Bartleby! Ah Humanity!] Out

Okay, SO Here’s the low down:

Used Xbox at whole Price: 144.99

Discount on Used XBOX: 29.00

Price after Discount: 115.99

~~~

Current Amount in Account: 75(ish)

Next paycheck: 84 (ish)

Total in Account: 159 (ish)

Total in Account after getting Xbox: $44(ish) (Only 19 can be accessed)

Expenses Needed Soon:

30 for Lit Mag Jacket (Soon, but not too soon)

30 For Lit Mag Shirt (soon but not too soon)

30 For Debate (Now. If i get asked again, I’ll bleed.)

Conclusion: I’m not going to ever afford an XBOX, like ever.

Derringer Meryl [Scare me, Just as soon as I get paid] Out

So it’s been a while, I’m sorry. I really am. But no worries, I’ve been writing everyday at school, in my book.

I’m sure you’re thrilled. I know I am. *smiles* Umm… Let’s see. Oh I know.

Work- I got (braces herself) screwed over at work. I lost $150 dollars thanks to the help of a short change artist. *THP, and raspberries* That just proves me right, you can’t trust people with mullets. (J/k) lets see, what else.

I had a horrid cold last week, it was not so fun, I still have it now, but that’s my own fault, some how.

I got a new favorite song. *smiles* Sk8er boy By Avril Lavigne. I love it. I love the parody that my friend wrote to it. It’s all good.

What else…. Ummm.

School blows. I’m praying everyday that someone won’t find this like after I’ve killed every annoying person at school, which is basically all of them. INCLUDING MY GYM TEACHER!

What is the point of having Gym count towards Graduation. If it wasn’t for that flipping class, I’d be scott free. I hate it. I hate gym. I hate PE, I hate the idea of being graded for how physically fit I am. That’s stupid. Back in the good days they’d just give you a period of time to run and play. It was called Recess. For those of you who are still fortunate enough to have Recess, ENJOY IT. Soon enough you’ll have GYM where you have to run the mile and crappy things like that. Or possibly you’ll have to lift weights. *growls* I HATE GYM!!!!

Soon I’ll get around to fixing this page up again (IE changing this page.) and then It’ll be all pretty. 🙂

Anyway, I’m out for a while.

Derringer Meryl [Underneath It all] Out