Undone

Oh Yeah. I have a test tomorrow… err.. today, whatever. 🙂 Wish me luck… 🙂

*crickets chirp*

Fine ya stingy jerk. I’ll get my luck from other places. HMPH.

After test, i have work (yippie) and then i have… DN Angel? Maybe. Depends on if it downloads.

I fear the Kazaa thanks to the RIAA, I just wish I knew where to find it with Bittorrent. 🙁

Derringer Meryl [sleepy by time] Out

death to the pop-in visitor.

Okay. So i had my own pop-in visitor, in the form of a kid (friend?) who sat next to me in Lit Mag, whom i like to think of as a very scary lecher. Don’t know what lecher means? Look it up, let it be your word for the day. he doesn’t SCARE me, ya know like The Ring scared me (cause we all know that was a mind screw) it was like, “I really didn’t think we were really close enough for you to show up without calling me first.”

yeah. I’m sure if Red (Hi Red!) is reading this, she’s shuddering me, and praying for me, all at the same time. He was there from Five till eight. I had some math homework to do, but not before he decided to raid my room.

i’m too tolerant.

I could probably let Hitler walk into my room and try on my bras if he wanted to. Just no killing, unless i’m the one doing it. I just shrug it off. I guess the surface stuff of my room being my sanctuary sorta slides off. My computer (good Xander!) is my sanctuary. 🙂 I seriously get pissed if someone screws with my computer.

I guess it’s because right now, he’s the only reliable man in my life. Good Ole Xander. 🙂 Well then you have Friendjamin (who is super nice, and super funny!) and Gert, and Monkey (semi-reliable) Oh Good Grief, and I can’t forget Marco, And it’s just great, I need more positive guy influences in my life. I think Friendjamin and Marco are the two best right now. 🙂

anyway. I really want to find out some more about DN Angel (Awesome from what i’ve seen… :))

Derringer Meryl [Daisuke or Dark?] Out

Have you ever felt the kind of pressure that when you feel it, you feel like lashing out at the person who seems to be pressuring you? It’s like, they keep reminding you, and pestering you, about stuff you know you need to do, but … you just don’t want to. If that person was a tamagotchi, you’d put it in a drawer and ignore it’s small chirps for help as the piles of poo surrounded their tiny body. Poor thing.

*sighs* I’m just tired of feeling like everyone isn’t so much advising as they think they are. Or maybe it’s all in my mind. I swear. I don’t want to go to the singles ward more and more each time it’s suggested by my dad. We even had a discussion about it with our home teacher today. …. *sighs* good gravy. I’m just so tired.

I don’t think i’m taking the job at Game Crazy. the idea of it makes my senses scream, and my body tense up. I guess it’s because i feel like i’m a liar. I misconstrued myself so that i could get the job. ick. I hate feeling like this. and I could continue on with the drama that is why i don’t act anyway i don’t feel… but eh, that’s okay. I don’t want to think about it.

I feel so stressed. I have another test this week, and i feel grossly unprepared, in a way that just about sickens me. I better head off to bed, so I can *crosses her fingers* feel better in the morning…. and maybe God will tell me, in the night, how to wriggle my way out of working at GameCrazy. I’ve never been one to say no… heh.

Derringer Meryl [i always seem to be going upstream] Out

Drama Drama Drama!

First Marco Looses (misplaces) $600 at the local store, the one i’m supposed to start working at soon. Then i start to get uber cold feet. Marco is freaking out, i’m freaking out, and backing out. Then they find the moolah today. and i’m still wiggin’

I don’t know what to do. I feel shibby (If my last two entries didn’t already illuminate that fact) I’m going BACK on my medication…. sadly, and i’m so tired of everything. Blah.

So I may not be so crazy for games in two weeks as i thought i was going to be, right? I’m off to think about stuff, like … uhh… what i should do.

Derringer Meryl [medicating for the world] Out

Permanent Night time twitchies, orrrr

extreme depressive-ness. Hm. Choices. Oh. And if the chemicals balance out? Yeah– um– you still get the twitchies