Learning more and more about myself each day. The Mouth helped out today. He made me feel better about myself. He can do that, he just usually chooses not to.

You’re an INFJ


You’re future-oriented, and direct your insight and inspiration towards understanding yourself and thereby, human nature…your work mirrors your integrity….reflects your inner ideals…solitude and a chance to concentrate thoroughly on what counts most is important to you…you like to quietly exert your influence…you have deeply felt compassion and desire harmony with others…you’ll go to great lengths to avoid conflict…

You understand the complexities existing within people…you don’t call a lot of attention to yourself…you like to let your accomplishments do your talking….you look for a small group of people who understand and appreciate you and hang with them….you’re gentle and don’t like violence…

You’d rather have a few close friends instead of be at a big party …you’ll do well in college as your “day in the sun” where your brains count more than they did in that ol’ shallow high school…you want your work to contribute to the general good…

You have a strong love of learning…you get along well with teachers and older people…you write well ’cause you can formulate your ideas clearly… you have integrity and consistency….you don’t like the “politics” at work.. you’d rather be able to talk honestly with people than “play games.” (you still play games on the Storm Palace, but would rather post! 🙂 )…intuitive insights into situations…

You’re quiet yet persistent and determined in your efforts toward long-term goals….when you work toward your vision, you win cooperation rather than demand it…even if you don’t lead others, you still facilitate things… leisure time usually is solitary or involves the company of others particularly important to you…you’re perfectly happy just sitting around with close buds discussing feelings…you’d rather have longstanding friends than make many new acquaintences…these deep friendships are important to you, even though you may not share much about yourself…

You become attracted to someone special and prefer this one deep one over many superficial ones…this depth, though, is only partially communicated outwards…you like a regular “date”, revisiting the place where you first met your mates, or doing other symbolic things that help to continue or confirm the existence of the bond.

You may have an ideal standard of the way love is…you’re often disappointed when reality doesn’t quite match up….you want to give love and be loved… you enter into relationships just to be cared for…even when the other person isn’t right for you and you know it….when you meet the right person, though, you are quick to get involved with them and make it a serious one… you’ll end other relationships to be with this “right” one….

When you’re scorned, you take it personally and retreat inward…you may obsess about the relationship and your role in the failure…you blame yourself for a failed relationship and might even need a period of mourning.

You should watch out for becoming blinded by the idealism of your visions or if you focus only on your ideas…this could make you ignore reality when it contradicts those lofty ideals…you could stay with a belief or commitment beyond what the facts would support (stubborn?)…you’re loyal…

Also, you could lose out if you don’t act assertively and are reluctant to intrude on others with your ideas…as a result, you could keep many important things to yourself…you’ll then feel that your ideas are underestimated or unappreciated…maybe you should develop political saavy or assertiveness to sell your ideals…finally, you should be forthright with criticism of others…you’re always doing the “If you can’t say some- thing nice….” stuff. After you hold it inside, you’ll blow up eventually.

INFJ: “Inner Nuances Fosters Journeys”

Derringer Meryl [Looking for Someone More] Out

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I smother because i care

*eyes glaze over* You know that feeling, where it feels like things are okay? School is good, friends are good, relationships in the romance area are good, everything is good–? That feeling is the best ever.

I’m NO where near that feeling. I realized that i’m going to school tonight for the first time in … *thinks* three weeks or so? I don’t really want to go back– i don’t fit in there, and being there makes my butt go numb. Blah. Then There’s Red, who i’m almost convinced is dead. [half-smile] How rude of her not to call and tellme she’s dead.[/lame joke] and i just got on my instant messenger, only to see that Monkey doesn’t seem to be feeling well either. I’m not sure, as we don’t talk very often anymore, but part of me wishes that i could get my guts in a pile and call and ask him how he is. *whispers* i just don’t want to be intrusive. Or rude, or anything.

I just want to be friendly, and i’ve come to the realization that i suck ass at being friendly. I’m overbearing in my friendly-ness and thus, it scares people. I’m like the church-lady who calls and asks you to come to church, but you look at the caller id and hide, like actually physically hide because you feel that somehow she can see you through the phonelines…..

I might be exaggerating, but i’m not sure. Anyway. I’m a worry wart, I get stomach aches from worry, but if i didn’t have my friends to worry about, then i’d worry about stupid things. I worry about Marco, Red, Monkey, Frienjamin, Dateless, Gert, Artemis, …. hell, sometimes i even take the time to worry about the annoying animeboi. I worry about my family, that everyone is doing okay, that their marriages are working out okay, that my brother doesn’t have a job, and i figure that makes him feel pretty down. I worry about interactions between my Dad and my ‘twin’ because they dont’ get a long at all.

I worry about germs, and how they can get into your body– i worry about having enough money, about what my parents think of my lack of direction… and what not. It’s exhausting, to worry about it all. But I don’t let it overwhelm me. I see worrying, as a sign of love. Worry=Care. I care about people, so I worry about them. Are they happy, are they sick, are they dating someone new? It’s not obsession, it’s love.

Derringer Meryl [piling some guts, EMAIL] Out

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Dream a little dream of me

death to the pop-in visitor.

Okay. So i had my own pop-in visitor, in the form of a kid (friend?) who sat next to me in Lit Mag, whom i like to think of as a very scary lecher. Don’t know what lecher means? Look it up, let it be your word for the day. he doesn’t SCARE me, ya know like The Ring scared me (cause we all know that was a mind screw) it was like, “I really didn’t think we were really close enough for you to show up without calling me first.”

yeah. I’m sure if Red (Hi Red!) is reading this, she’s shuddering me, and praying for me, all at the same time. He was there from Five till eight. I had some math homework to do, but not before he decided to raid my room.

i’m too tolerant.

I could probably let Hitler walk into my room and try on my bras if he wanted to. Just no killing, unless i’m the one doing it. I just shrug it off. I guess the surface stuff of my room being my sanctuary sorta slides off. My computer (good Xander!) is my sanctuary. 🙂 I seriously get pissed if someone screws with my computer.

I guess it’s because right now, he’s the only reliable man in my life. Good Ole Xander. 🙂 Well then you have Friendjamin (who is super nice, and super funny!) and Gert, and Monkey (semi-reliable) Oh Good Grief, and I can’t forget Marco, And it’s just great, I need more positive guy influences in my life. I think Friendjamin and Marco are the two best right now. 🙂

anyway. I really want to find out some more about DN Angel (Awesome from what i’ve seen… :))

Derringer Meryl [Daisuke or Dark?] Out

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