Nov
26
2011
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drabbles

you’ve trapped me again. I’m trapped inside of my head as I try to scratch and claw and tell you… tell you the truth. i wish i could show you. Replay the memories that i’ve locked away. replaying again and again, at night as i try to sleep. I see shadows… figments… shades; haunting me.

I wish i could pour out my regret.  poke a hole in my soul and let it drain and seep out. freeing me of it’s weight. of the disappointment. Instead I keep it all inside, letting it drag and weigh me down. distorting me, warping my heart.

stretching me out

wearing me out.  I push the weight of my choices onto my back. I hunch, I strain, I pull.

I stretch as I try to work this into something I can use, a lesson, a path, something important, and lovely. A way back.

I’m trying to reform what remains. I”m trying to show you, the best that I can

 

that I can be more.

Written by admin in: Uncategorized |
Nov
08
2011
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Don’t you get it?

I think it’s important to note, that I’m no Economical genius, but it seems that we’ve upset the economical circle of life, There are always going to be Oprah’s and Bill Gates’ and Steve Jobs’ who have a lot of money, but the middle class is disappearing. We are all becoming lower middle class. The wages we are being paid don’t cover the expenses we have. and it all feels like we’re downing in our own debt. Some people might say rightfully so. I know people who have been out of jobs for YEARS. Not for fun, Not because they are too picky about where they work, because everywhere they try to apply is saturated with applicants. People are “over qualified” or don’t have enough experience, and so only a select few can be hired.

I feel fortunate to never have been laid off, or out of a job. If I leave it’s because I choose to leave. Scott has been laid off, and it was the worst way EVER to wake up in the morning. the worst. We are fortunate that he found a job, and quickly with his current (and my current) employer. They treat us right, and are growing exponentally. We love it! We are lucky.

I am not an economic genius, but it doesn’t take much to see that the money that is supposed to be “trickling down” is NOT trickling at all. Statistically, the rich are getting richer. Should we punish them? No. Being successful at your job isn’t your “fault” per say. It’s not something to fault you for. Should you be forced to keep your income in the economic pool via taxes, yes.

Imagine, somehow, all of the fish in a stream were horded into a holding pen somewhere. Not allowed to swim around as they normally do… Everything that depends on the fish– is being punished, and could wither and die. Which is why in nature most animals don’t just eat one thing. They eat a variety of things. But economically, you pretty much just have cash. Moolah. You can have it in stocks, bonds, 401k, savings, checking, CD… blah blahblah. you can shape it and fold it any way you want, but it’s still money. it’s what we all need. It’s why we work, to get money to pay for bills, for vacations,f or clothes for food! Money makes the world go. There are people who are hoarding it. If a person is holding onto the majority of the nations wealth, it is detrimental to the economy. Sure we can print more money, but that just devalues it. There is only SO much money in the world, and the people who aren’t passing it on the way it is supposed to, are dicks.

Bam

Derringer Meryl [Sleepy time] Out

Written by admin in: Uncategorized | Tags:
Nov
05
2011
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The one where I con my brother into taking me to a concert

Not really con. haha, He did it as an early birthday present, which I TOTALLY appreciated. It was nice to go. Really nice. despite both of us being DOG tired by the end of the night. I am not used to standing that long anymore. BLEH! He’s a super awesome brother, for coming with me, and listening to me talk his ear off!!

We went together and saw They Might Be Giants and the Absolutely Amazing Jonathan Coulton. I didn’t recognize most of the They Might be Giants stuff, but when you consider I was 2 when their first CD came out, I figure that’s ok. They sang Birdhouse in your Soul, and a few other songs I liked. I adored JoCo. I do. He’s lyrically funny. I told Scott the concert was like living backwards. All the songs I learned and loved as an adult with JoCo and all the songs I learned, and the voices from y childhood with TMBG. It was a great time. I learned some new songs. I loved hanging with Dax. I did my best to not go all emo, or be the annoying girl who screeched too much (she was behind me, unfortunately)

Check out JoCo You’ll find at least one song that makes you laugh. I guarentee it. He’s awesome.

Here’s to doing something you want, and checking off ONE goal from your list 😉
Derringer Meryl [But I”m way too smart for you] out

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