Undone

you’ve trapped me again. I’m trapped inside of my head as I try to scratch and claw and tell you… tell you the truth. i wish i could show you. Replay the memories that i’ve locked away. replaying again and again, at night as i try to sleep. I see shadows… figments… shades; haunting me.

I wish i could pour out my regret.  poke a hole in my soul and let it drain and seep out. freeing me of it’s weight. of the disappointment. Instead I keep it all inside, letting it drag and weigh me down. distorting me, warping my heart.

stretching me out

wearing me out.  I push the weight of my choices onto my back. I hunch, I strain, I pull.

I stretch as I try to work this into something I can use, a lesson, a path, something important, and lovely. A way back.

I’m trying to reform what remains. I”m trying to show you, the best that I can

that I can be more.