Undone

Why is Mommy So Mad?

I was discussing something along these lines with a friend of mine. I think every woman, and even person, has different opinions on what kind of “parenting” style is best. But the truth is, it’s BEST for them. I like to keep my mind open, I like to hear about what other people do, simply because I DO NOT know what I’m doing. I try to do my best. I try to keep my kids happy and well balanced. Though it’s becoming quickly apparent that they are SPOILED (really bad! I certainly didn’t have this many toys! Clothes, or people catering to me!) but other than that, we try to curb them fairly well. Teach them manners, and not to be jerks, and it’s hard! I think everyone is just trying not to screw their kids up. And quite honestly– I dont’ think there is a way to do that….

The debates don’t end with Child rearing. I suppose you could say they start with pregnancy. How to behave, no pills no help, midwife, OBGYN…. Home births, water births (though not mutually exclusive), c-section, natural, epidural… blah blah blah… What is right and wrong. People talk about C-sections like it’s horrible. Like you’re going to get sliced into like a christmas ham and left to bleed out on the table. Good Lord. I am defensive, I’ll admit, because I have a lot of baggage about my C-section. I can hear my mom saying “but you had to have one” and while that’s technically true in a way, I had a choice. I took the path of less resistance. I will full on admit that I think people spouting the “Your body knows when to push your baby out” bullshit. Excuse my french. Maybe their body is reliable, and can do things like that. Maybe they’re blessed with the patience and ability to sit around and nest instead of being chained to a desk nearly in tears from the pain of being pregnant while trying to help some moron with their customer service needs. Maybe some women enjoy the experience of working up until their water breaks or they bust out in full on contractions, But I was SICK of waiting. I was sick of feeling the hiccups and the kicks while hearing someone whine about their cellphone’s lack of signal when they were talking in the subway. I guess what I’m saying is, Maybe next time I can enjoy being pregnant, and maybe someday I’ll be able to sit around and have warm fuzzy feelings about wanting to wait my baby out, but over all. I was wanting her out (either or) and I wanted them out sooner than later. maybe I’m impatient, but honestly, does that make me a bad mommy? no.

Be happy with your choices. Love yourself and you children, and to hell with anyone who criticizes your parenting choices. ;P

Derringer Meryl [haha] Out

Recently, a coworker and I were discussing about what our bliss was. For those who go “what the what?” when they hear that, it’s a job or task that you feel happiest doing. Like if someone paid you to do that, you’d be in heaven. For me, i have a few things that zen me out. Like I would LOVE to do them for a job. 1- Bein’ a mom. It’s ROUGH right? But I love my kids. I would totally nanny it up and take them to parks and to mueseums and stuff that’s hard to do now because I’m at work, and exhausted all the time usually (not to say SAHM’s aren’t exhausted, I’m just sayin’ you muster up energy when it’s your job and you’re getting paid!!) I would love to get paid to just… be a mom. I think I’m pretty good at it. Not perfect, but as I always say “I’m not snorting crack off my baby’s stomach, so i’m not the worst mom out there.” 2- Write. I am not always the best writer, but I think I could grow and get better. Boogers that reminds me of something i wanted to write out earlier….. Anyway, the proverbial cherry on the sundae of awesomeness would being able to write about being a mom gamer. i think it’s kind of a new situation for a lot of women out there. Also to the moms that aren’t gamers, I feel like I could lend a mommy hand and say “i know this seems weird and you don’t get it, but let me help you” I don’t know. The damn wii opened things up so a lot of mom’s are getting into it more, but I guess that doesn’t mean they understand it completely…. anyway… third, i think, is the most shocking. 3 – Broadcasting/Radio DJ. I am serious, fo’ shiz. I listen to the radio a lot, more than anything else i’d say, because I love Radio Dj’s especially the local ones we have here on X96 in the morning. I’d love to work with them as a intern, but they only take people in HS or in college. I’m neither. So I just sit and listen to the good time they’re having and think “I’d love to be doing this. I think i could do it!” Although in the past I have thought I could be the following: Teacher, Lawyer, Actress, Librarian, Secretary, Realtor and accountant. i would still like to be a secretary, but… whatever. The fact of the matter is, i keep comign back to being a mom, and being a writer. I think, besides my voice, it’s something that has gotten me the most compliments (notice though that I didn’t ever mention wanting to be a singer. The only song I love singing absolutely at this point? Self Esteem by The Offspring. Oh yeah.)

Anyway. I was discussing Pioneer Woman (Ree Drummond) and how she has this MEGA SUCCESSFUL blog and ladidah. All i could find to say was A) more power to her, I would love to be like her and B) I am too tired after a day of wrangling adults who act like toddlers at work, to come home and do what she does. HELL I’m too tired to come home, play a video game, and then Blog about it. Oh massive tip here, a year of gamefly for Christmas? T’would be awesome. la la la love it. anyway. I have ideas, always in my head, and I think about how to bank roll them, but never really get past the idea part. I think it would be great to have a mocktail bar down here in dry-county. I think a place that is fancy enough that there would be a dance floor (for BALLROOM type dancing) would be fabulous, and have yummy meals and NO screaming kids. and no bongo drums, or people singing happy birthday…. maybe a nice string quartet… I’m just saying. I have plans. I have ideas. I think with help, my ideas could be successful. Also, I would like to eat out somewhere, where it is all tables for two. Where you sit and think “oh this would be a great place to be proposed to. Something classy! C”MON UTAH!!! CLASSY!?!

anyway. I think I better go jot down that idea I had.

derringer Meryl [wha wha WHAT UP!] Out