Undone

WARNING: Before you begin to read, this is going to be major high on the smooshie level (smooshie: romantic “I’m in love and it feels so freakin’ awesome” stuff.) If you can’t handle it, if you have a weak stomach for that kind of stuff– pack your bags because this is one of those entries.

I think i’m starting to go crazy. Or getting progressively worse anyway. Since I’m sure your first reaction was “You’re already crazy, you freak!” I’ll give a hearty nod to that, and go on to the point that this entry is about.

Now, I’ve spent about a month and … *does the math* a half or so? Well, since I first saw a picture of Scott, thinking to myself “He sure does look a lot like Ewan McGregor” (I swear I’m not making this up) and I’ve been looking around at pictures of Ewan today (Which coincidentally who one of my nephews is named after– from what I understand anyway.) and I’ve gathered a few that remind me of Scott. (Kay, the dork-o-meter is going up from here, if you can’t take the heat, get the crap out of my crazy kitchen.)

Ewan talking he looks excited– This is a lot the same expression Scott gets when he’s telling a story about him and his friends as ruffians (if you could call it that.) But I have to admit, Scott is much cuter when he talks than Ewan McGregor is. (ducks tomatos from various single women)

Intense Stare on Ewan’s part. Now– overall the facial expression here isn’t one I’ve seen Scott wear a lot– but the eyes are what strike me the most. Taking into consideration that this is a black and white photo, the eyes stand out remarkably well…. I don’t know what it is exactly that reminds me of Scott, but It does. *smirks* Maybe i’m just insanely in love with Scott and I see him in everything– or maybe I’m just obsessive– I don’t know. Sometimes I wonder if I’m gonna freak him out with how much I talk about him on here.

But I don’t think anyone has ever made me feel this good before. Nothing has felt this right. Sometimes I just get so scared that I’m going to do something stupid– or something that’s just so completely unforgivable or something like that…. so I’m unlovable. (Mind you I’m not being down on me– It’s just odd feeling this happy) I just wish I could freeze some of these moments in time so I could keep them forever. *taps her brain* that’s why I keep a journal… or a blog, whatever. Because I have troubles remembering things. Also why my hands become my own personal sticky notes too…

I’m scared of loosing all this good wonderful feeling. I know things have to change– progression and what not. THe only thing in life that is certain is change…. Not “He’s going to leave me” change, just– regular change. Everything is in constant motion. I wish I could just freeze some moments so i can keep them forever in my head. That’s all.

Derringer Meryl [Oddly Random] Out

I know, i seem to be on a crazy “Everything i eat sleep and breathe is Wedding/Scott!” thing in my posts– but honestly, it is. If you’re sickened– I suggest not reading (watches as her counter stops going up….) i’m planning a wedding. I’m going to be smooshie to get me through the blasted stress.

and dang it– I enjoy being smooshie. And I have Bridesmaids patterns, so there.

The skirt:

is pretty much decided on. You really get no imput. Sorry. It’s a very nice skirt though. If you want to see a better picture of it, go to http://www.kwiksew.com/ and look at the patterns, enter in 3108 as the pattern number, and you can read more about it. We’re going with style B. That’s what i wear, and I love it. Comfortable skirt. This skirt convinced me that it’s not so bad being a girl. *waves her hands around like a loon* I attribute it to my cuteness. Or at least part of it. This is the pattern of skirt i almost always wear. They’re comfy and can be re-worn. I’m looking to make it in the stylish black. Light fabric, possibly patterned.

Now, picking a top is harder. I wanted some Bridesmaid-y imput (and Maid of honor, she’ll be stuck in one of these too!) I want you guys to be comfortable. 😉 As much as possible.

Number one is a blue top.

I want the top to be pretty free flowing– that way it can sort of match what i’m wearing. Open sleeves, very comfortable. and airy, since it’s going to be June, you’ll be greatful– unless you’re cold blooded. I don’t remember where I found this one. I have all the patterns written down, just ask and I’m sure I can track it down. 😀

Same thing with number two Fairly free flowing.

Billowy sleeves. Also, I realize that some of these patterns dip fairly low (dang fashion) but since we’re making them (we, meaning me and the mouse in my pocket— and whoever else is willing to help. More than likely my mom) can adjust things like that. Huzzah for us! I was thinking the top would be red– depending on what the bottom of the Skirt had as a pattern.

A little different.

More Bohemian. I like it. Tell me what you think.

Swag Top.

That’s sorta the kind I wore for my bro and sister-in-law’s wedding. Swag. It has it’s downsides, I’ll admit. But it keeps the breeze going.

The original

This is the one i fell in love with first. (using the term lightly, because I couldn’t possibly love this shirt as much as I love Scott…. :D) it’s got the free flowing sleeves (again) and the material is light and open.

Okay. That’s all I have right now. I’m a little tired. I need to go work on the sewing machine with my mom, and see if we can get it put back together. Dang monkey head. Fell apart.

Derringer Meryl [COMMENT!!] Out

Because i’m a freak, geek, obsessive, odd and so on (none of which are bad… just different) i’ve been looking at headdresses ah-lah Lord of the Rings to go with my Lord of the rings styled wedding dress.

I figure– Sure, I’ll probably only wear it once, but what a great thing to start off as a heirloom! *smirks*

Right. So Since i have a comment feed back thing now– you can tell me which one you like, and how lame and stupid you think I am for wanting to do this.

First is at the bottom of the page. So look there.

Second are a lot more simple than the first. A lot less expensive, but i’m not sure that they’re what i’m looking for.

I’ve looked around and found some pretty ones that just… don’t fit the dress quite the way I want my outfit to look. I’m getting more of a train on my dress than not because my sister-in-law (who designed the dress) did the paper test (to see if it was white enough) found that the dress wasn’t as white as she had hoped. Which means that I’ll be getting a dress to wear in the temple in addition to this one. 🙂

In anycase, that means i get a long flowing gown like I always wanted. 🙂 Huzzah. And it’s LoTR friendly too. I’m thinking about going out to this store down on 90th and buying three evenstars. I think it’d be a great Bridesmaid gift. Even if they don’t like it, they’ll have something pretty, right?

Right?

Derringer Meryl [Trying not to clench my teeth] Out

*sighs* I went to school today. I got a new assignment from class (wahoo) it’s due in april, so I need to get that done. Then I need to read my two books for class (Blah and blah-er) and write two more papers for my psychology class. (I should be doing that paper soon, so i don’t get swept up in the busy-ness of wedding prep.)

It’s been just over a week since Scott and I made it officially unofficial (I don’t have a ring yet, but we’re still getting married 🙂 June Ninth) We introduce each other as our fiance (if you read in the comments that’s what he posts as.) I love being engaged to Scott. I love Scott. It’s mind boggling how fast this all worked…. *sighs* The wedding planning is getting stressful. It seems like my brain is taking in a lot of excess stuff that doesn’t need to be there. Maybe that’s just me. Maybe I’m just one more ADD Bride who feels like there are two million things that need planned and wedding planners (like day planners for weddings) only make the stress worse. I’m horrible at making choices. In fact, i don’t like to make them at all. that’s just me. I just– really don’t like decisions. I like input (I get a lot, I just space it out) and I like opinions and ….

I guess that’s the best part of getting married. Someone to rely on and help out. All of the wedding stuff I’ve been reading says “Make the groom be involved.” Scott’s more involved than me I think. 🙂 I think it’s cute. I always ask his opinion, because– well… Brides tend to get this thing going of “It’s my special day and I’m gonna do it the way I want!” Which is wrong. The whole fetching idea is wrong. While most of the time the groom is still elated that the bride actually said “I do” he doesn’t care what anything looks like. I’d have to say that for me and Scott, this is OUR day. I’m elated he loves me. He’s elated that I love him (to stick words in his mouth, hee) and so, we want our day to be great.

I’m pretty much in happy giddy wonderful jubilant land. Even if my wedding cake is falling apart, and the happy couple standing on top have devil horns and start chasing around the guests– I couldn’t be happier. Because I’ll be with Scott.

Derringer Meryl [All Sapped] Out

I must make this very short. I have classes and work tomorrow, but I thought I should update very quickly. I met some more of Scott’s friends tonight. They were very nice, and funny, people. We went to see Hidalgo and had some dinner. My favorite part of the night was snuggling with Scott at the movies. I guess you could call it snuggling. I don’t know. I do. *shrugs*

Can I say he makes the cutest pouty face? It really blows my pouty face out of the water, and mine is very impressive. Wins people over even over long distances– but his– is great. Not even five seconds I lasted. (realizes she sounds vaguely yiddish when she writes like that.) There was something different about Scott tonight though, I couldn’t really place it, but he looked super duper cute. I seriously tried to place it all night. All I can come up with is that he’s an irresistible guy. Which I’ve known since the moment I laid eyes on him… So i’m still wondering… what was so special about tonight?

Blah- I”ll have to think about it while i’m sleeping. Cause I can’t stay up anymore, I have CLASS! *kicks her class*

Derringer Meryl [I love him, I love him, I love him] Out