Undone

Does NO ONE take pride in their work anymore? I mean, you buy some Bootleg anime, and you expect at least for it to play in your fetching DVD player. I have to admit that this is the first time that my DVD player has made sounds of STRAIN while trying to play a dvd. I mean it makes the hummy noises, that are normal, but it whirrs and chokes like death is at it’s door. It’s slightly fitting that the anime i’m trying to play is called Slayers isn’t it?

*sighs* Enough of the complaining about my anime that i’ve been waiting a week to watch, but now however cannot because of the crappiness of the quality. *grrs*

I went to see Brother Bear with Artemis and Dateless (or Undateless, if that makes any sense) The mouth and his ex…. while it felt nice to go and hang out with them, and i was quite pleased that Artemis invited me to come along– the movie BLEW. I think Disney has gone quite downhill, involved too deeply within macabre story lines. Certainly they have stopped producing children’s films and now simply produce them for the necrophiles of the world. It was nice that it was just the five of us in the theatre so we could scream at how stupid it was. The only redeeming part to the film were the canadian Elk (I think they were elk– or caribou i guess… which ever. Moose?? I have no clue… i’m wild animal illiterate) who were a blast. They made you laugh, and forget how dirty you felt watching a film where two of the main characters die within the first half an hour. Happies.

I THOUGHT I lost another contact down the drain… I really did. Then I was sewing today and my brother found it, on the counter. Damn thing went all invisible when it hit the counter, so I couldnt’ find it, i figured it had gone down the drain like it’s predecessor.

Lets see– Um. Poor Marco has Pneumonia (which is quite a kick since I had it too back in the day.) and I made him soup, and his wife some brownies. It was nice to see him, even if it was for five seconds before i had to scoot off to work (which went nicely…)

Anyway– I’m off to see if the nice customer service people are going to take the dang anime back….

Derringer Meryl [No Pride in Workmanship] Out

Oi, fourth time is the charm? Here I am, Beginning of the week, right? Hallelujah. 🙂

I’ve been wondering. How I can be all socially impaired and what not, and hate going out into public, but love social things….

I’m sure i’ve made you VERY Confused….. I have this urge… to throw a party. Except– It’d be really lame to throw a party at my house cause …. well…. i live with my parents… and i’m sorry, that just screams lame party with the parents and the siblings. I mean– my parents buggered off nicely for Wudan’s parties, but I’m thinking they wouldn’t do that so nicely for me. Especially since Wudan screwed a lot of things over for me. It was never directly said by my parents, but I felt like i was on a leash when i went out places, I and I blame him. Cause God knows I’m out late, so I must be having sex with someone that is sure to impregnate me. Not like I can learn from the faults of my older siblings or anything. Nope. I’m going to go out and get drunk, and I’m gonna get pregnant, heck — why don’t i go all the way and become atheist.

Yeah– Right. Because I, like my older sibling, enjoy causing stress on my parents. Yes, It happens to be my favorite activity.

*rolls her eyes* I know I can’t make everyone happy. But I can make two people happy. And making them happy makes me happy. Sometimes one of them doesn’t know what is good for me. Sometimes *coughs* he gets confused, and thinks that what I want is what he wants– and taht I should automatically obey if he doesn’t like someone, then I shouldn’t talk to them anymore. I guess i”m a severe disappointment in that sense. I may not want all the things he wants in terms of an ideal mate for me. Anyway. People think I’m some kind of freak for not being the rebellious teen that everyone is. *waves her hands in the air* Whoopdidoo! Lets see, my oldest brother, he was quiet, and almost didnt’ go on a mission, waited a long time. Then the specialist, he wore his clothes inside out and listened to loud “bad” music (NIN and the Offspring. Death, right?) Dax was a little goth, and really scary, and Wudan. *sighs* Wudan…. stopped going to church. I have to admit, he’s the worst/best when it comes to rebelling against my parents. Sure, the specialist and his wife are having issues now, but I think that’s a “I’m just married recently” thing. I’d like to think so. The death of oppressive parenting…

And me… Well. *blinks*

I joined the debate team. My mom didn’t want me to, because of Wudan (he was on the Debate team…. and thus the rebellion was attributed to it) it was strictly forboden (forbidden) and so– yeah. i did that. I stayed out too late with Red, once or twice. *mutters* and hung out with Monkey that one time– *Coughs* Never mind. Heh.

Moving on.

I guess i’m just on the outside again. I don’t think i’m really– bad. I’ve spent so much of my time being good. I guess that’s not a bad thing to be good, which is the stupid statement of the century– but it makes me feel dull.

I’m dull. I’m duller than dull. If I was a color– i’d be like a pastel yellow. Not even yellow. I’d be a pastel white. I’m that dull. *sighs*

Okay, done with the self pity, on to the Lyric Spew…. Hey Mickey, B-Witched (Other Artists as well)

Oh Mickey you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind, hey Mickey, hey Mickey

(repeat x5)

Hey Mickey

You’ve been around all night, and that’s a little long

You think you’ve got the right, and I think you got it wrong

But can’t you say goodnite, so you can take me home, Mickey

Cuz when you say you will, it only means you won’t

You’re giving me the chills baby, please baby don’t

And every night you still leave me all alone, Mickey

Oh Mickey what a pity you don’t understand

You take me by the heart when you take me by the hand

Oh Mickey you’re so pretty can’t you understand

It’s guys like you Mickey, oh what you do, Mickey, do Mickey

don’t break my heart Mickey

Hey Mickey

Now when you take me by the, “Who’s ever gonna know”

Every time you move, I let a little more show

It’s something we can use, so don’t say no, Mickey

So come on and give it to me anyway you can

Anyway you wanna do it, I’ll take it like a man

Oh please baby please, don’t leave me in the den, Mickey

Oh Mickey what a pity you don’t understand

You take me by the heart when you take me by the hand

Oh Mickey you’re so pretty can’t you understand

It’s guys like you Mickey, oh what you do, Mickey, do Mickey

don’t break my heart Mickey

Oh Mickey you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind, hey Mickey, hey Mickey

Oh Mickey you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind, hey Mickey, hey Mickey

Oh Mickey what a pity you don’t understand

You take me by the heart when you take me by the hand

Oh Mickey you’re so pretty can’t you understand

It’s guys like you Mickey, oh what you do, Mickey, do Mickey

don’t break my heart Mickey

Derringer Meryl [Hey Inu!!] Out

Curiouser and curiouser. I’m not even sure curious-er is a word, but Alice got to use it, so … there you have it. 🙂

From one to three (basically two hours or so) I talked to monkey online. and I mean in the morning. I could have talked to him all night, but I had to go to bed since I had work the next day… Which saddens me. I’m glad we’re able to talk now, it may not be the hanging out and what not i’d like– but I prefer something to nothing.

never talking to Monkey again would make me cry. A lot.

*sighs* I’ve been quilting. It makes my fingers hurt. I can see why it’s a valuable thing to learn, but honestly, not that hard TO learn. Okay, I mean, learning to not stab yourself in the finger– hard. I promise you that. *yawns* I”m so freakishly exhausted. Very much so.

LOL, i startled the Mouth by telling him i was having an awesome day. He was appalled at the idea. His day seems to be incomplete without my whining. 🙂 He asked me why my day was so good. I responded that it was because that Monkey and I were getting along. (actually now that i think of it, we never were NOT getting along, just the communication was broken down.) He was impressed at how little it takes to make me happy. I agree. It takes very little. Minuscule amounts of energy… unless you are one of those people who can’t fall asleep after a certain time in the morning. 🙂 then it might be bad for you….. *laughs a little, then yawns*

I don’t know what’s going on with the mouth and his girlfriend (If you can call her that, i have no clue) *shrugs* and I always ask how he is, because he was apparently pretty down for a few days…. which who can blame him? I mean, I’m certainly not one to say anything. I’m the girl who got out of a ten month relationship, and was sad for nine. *shrugs* I’m emotional– overly so when it comes to my heart. I guess i rebounded better when it came to Monkey– besides the fact that he genuinely seemed like he wanted to stay my friend (as opposed to the other guy, who just wanted to put me on the back burner until he got bored with another girl…. Boy, I pick em.) I enjoy genuine people. 🙂

Anyway. I have to see a girl about a missionary farewell.

Derringer Meryl [The Road to hell is paved with] Out

Just a thought

Men think about sex 238 times a day -which averages out to approximately once every 4 minutes.. Isn’t that freaky? Amanda makes a very strong argument against that, “I’ve been here 20 minutes…That’s impossible. One, good sexual fantasy takes at least 20 minutes….

So true.

Derringer Meryl [up too late] Out

Late nights. Dont’ you just LOVE them? I know I do. So I could burst into song about how it’s another friday night, and I aint got no body, and what not– but honestly– I’m not with the minding of not having an “Other” right now. stuff gets too confusing when you’re emotionally attached to someone– Or maybe I just make it too confusing. I’m betting on the latter of the two. 🙂

I had an InuYasha-a-thon, with the anime and some fics. Oi. Some of the fics i’ve read in the past few days are very well written, as well as very romantic. *gets all starry eyed* And we all know how Meryl loves a little romance.

My mom and I were talking in the car today about how Jaded I am. I admit it, I’m pretty bitter about romance for loving it so much. I only like romance in cartoons. My mom said that it’s cute, but not believable, I mean, it’s just cartoons, right? Well, see, In cartoons, Romance is perfect. It’s a controlled romance environment. *nods* and in real life, it’s well… real. There’s fighting, and divorces, and adultery, and people sleeping with their babysitters… and rejection. Mind games. I guess it’s easier to be the onlooker. I wish I could always be the onlooker, who helps people out.

*eyebrows furrow* No– I just wish I could have that perspective sometimes when I’m working out my own problems….

*eyebrow twitches* and what is it with guys anyway? I mean– Sheesh. Okay, I apparently can’t even put words to the anger that i’m feeling– so yeah. But I mean– with the not empathy and the not sympathy. Good grief!! Does that kind of stuff just come with estrogen or something? Because I have met very few men who feel sympathy. And you know what? It doesn’t even matter if it’s genuine, just as long as it’s not patronizing… A nod, and a “Man that sucks” or something isn’t that hard of a feat to achieve.

Oh, and the lack of being able to mannerly respond. Like when someone says “How are you today?” and the guy is like “Oh I’m pretty good.” and that’s it. No “How about you?”

I have to admit, I struggle with this one when i’m talking in person, because i’m sorta… introverted, more shy than not…. but I try. Honestly. And the lack of a curious mind, or something. It’s a baited statement when someone says “Man, I’m really not feeling good today” for you to say “Oh, What seems to be the problem” Good freaking gravy. How hard is that?

MY BIGGEST PET PEEVE is when guys check out a girl (not subtly, quite openly with a “How you doin’?” remark and all…) and says how pretty they are, and what part of them is pretty and what not– and does not even mention something that looks nice about you. Hair, Dress, Pants, Shirt, Necklace, shoes, PICK SOMETHING! You’ve got a whole girl in front of you with millions of things you could compliment her on. TRY IT!!

*sighs angrily* I don’t really know where that came from. Honestly. I was happy… and I am happy… except for that damn escapade with my contact… (I went and got a new one, which I will wear tomorrow to work.) I don’t feel like sleeping. I feel like …. not sleeping

My night– *blinks* I was thinking about Kagome and Inu Yasha… and how she loves him, and that he may not be who she wanted. Not who everyone had picked out for her, but he’s there. He’s there for her. And he comforts her, and he protects her…. and he falls in love with her.

and honestly, that’s sorta what I want to. Not so much the ego maniac who wants to kill me (literally) The first time we meet– but someone who is haphazardly placed in a situation with me, that seems — unlikely.

I’d like it to be a little fated feeling. I mean, I dont’ strictly believe in fate…. but– still. It’d be nice.

Ya know?

Derringer Meryl [Raving Loon] Out