Sep
06
2009
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Publishing

From my quick press, a big shout out to Scott who is magic at maintaining my blog. What a great guy!

I also would like to say a big thank you to DQ who brought home chocolate for me to eat. I love me some chocolate.

I was sick today, I’m hoping it stays away. i hate being ill. It makes it hard to be anything else, like a mom or wife. I just want to lay on the couch and pass out. This re-occurrence has reminded me that I need to get to the doctor. the downside? I have no time off to go to the doctor. Oh well.

Ta-da

Derringer Meryl [update] Out

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Sep
03
2009
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If you haven’t heard

I want you to by Weezer, drop everything, Head over to weezer.com and LISTEN. I swear.

I’m not a huge fan girl… but wow. I could listen to this song forever. Best romance song ever. I would cry a million happy tears if I ever saw them in concert!

The moon was shining on the lake at night
The slayer T-shirt fit the scene just right
Your smeared mascara
I looked into your eyes and saw a light

You told me stories about your chickadees
They didn’t like BB guns or stupid archery
And Shaun the lifeguard
He let them use the pool all day for free

Then the conversation stopped
And I looked down at my feet
I was next to you and you were right there next to me
Then I said

Girl,if you’re wondering if I want you to (I want you to)
I want you to
So make them move (make them move)
cause I ain’t got all night

The rest of the summer was the best we’ve ever had
We watched titanic and it didn’t make us sad
I took you to flash back
You took me home to meet your mom and dad

Your mom cooked meat loaf,even though I don’t eat meat
I dug you so much,I took some for the team
Your dad was silent
His eyes were fixed to what was on TV

And the conversation stopped,and I looked down at the ring
Your folks were next to you
And you were right there next to me
And I said

Girl,if you’re wondering if I want you to (I want you to)
I want you to (I want you to)
I swear it’s true (swear it’s true)
Without you my heart is blue
Girl,if you’re wondering if I want you to (I want you to)
I want you to (I want you to)
So make the move (make the move)
cause I ain’t got all night

So much pain may come our way
There may come a day when we have nothing left to say

When the conversation stops and we’re facing our defeat
I’ll be next to you and you’ll be right there next to me
Then I’ll say

Girl,if you’re wondering if I want you to (I want you to)
I want you to (I want you to)
I swear it’s true (swear it’s true)
Without you my heart is blue,oh
Girl, if you’re wondering if I want you to (I want you to)
I want you to (I want you to)
So make the move (make the move)
Cause I ain’t got all night

It makes me think of Scott and I. It feels good.

g’night

Derringer Meryl [sweet] Out

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Aug
21
2009
8

In case you haven’t heard

Scott FINALLY (as in we’ve been waiting since late June) got approved to get a pump. It should be here monday. We are both metaphorically doing the snoopy dance. I’m glad he’ll get some good sleep before i go back to work and that I won’t have to wonder if he’s passed out from getting a sugar low. he’s happy that he gets to feel human again instead of what passes for human when you have to shoot up insulin at every turn.

I’m not looking forward to this week being my LAST week out. I would take the month of September too if I could, but unless 2 paychecks worth of cash suddenly drops into our laps, it’s not going to happen. Oh well. I’m grateful that I got more time with Audrey than I did with Katie. I’m also grateful for the time I”ve got to spend with Katie. She’s not potty trained by any extent of the mind, but she does ask to go Potty on occasion…. which is a milestone. I’m not going to push potty training on her any too fast. It’d be nice not to have to buy diapers… but I don’t have the energy to ask her every 20 minutes if she needs to pee.

Mom’d!

I’ve been watching The Guild online, and immensely enjoying it. I told Scott I think Felicia Day is hot, which she is, however I immediately followed it up with that I think I’m pretty dang awesome too. In case you don’t follow Biggest Loser Friend Edition, I’m doing fairly well on my weight loss. I think so anyway. I’m feeling good about it.  I’m also trying to be good about my intake and what not, I’m not perfect, but I’m trying to do what I can. …

Which brings me to the addiction I don’t want to admit I have. Diet Coke. to be specific, I like fountain Diet coke the best, where it’s fizzy but not bottled fizzy. For some reason the maverick near my house has CRAPPY diet coke. Don’t ask me why. It’s horrible. I have to say that the Wendy’s near my house has the BEST diet coke. I try to see how long I can go without one… it’s hard. I’m not addicted to the caffeine, but I just love the taste and the fizz. Scott thinks I”m crazy, and i can see why. I could drink anything I want and I choose one of the only things he CAN drink, it’s boring. Though I will heartily admit that a creme soda, or a fruity soda is my fav, Raspberry or strawberry preferably… but those are hard to find. A local eaterie has red creme soda, and I die nearly every time I eat there. I race the take out guys (I do this every place I do take out actually) to finish the drink before they can get my food so I can have a refill. Other places like Beans and brews I try to pace myself so that I don’t drink it too fast, try and savor it… it’s still usually gone by the time I hit the freeway. Dang it. I wish I could get a 44 oz raspberry creme soda. I think next time I do a grocery run I might snag some raspberry drink and coffee creamer and see how that works (liquid creamer, small since it’s a test) If it works well, then maybe I can wean off of the diet coke. I find that now days I can go w/o eating, but I MUST have a drink…. not that I starve myself… I just would rather drink than eat. Weird right?

I should probably be sleeping since katie is napping and audrey is passed out… still. I will need to get Katie up soon so she doesn’t wake up in the middle of the night…. also I have to stay awake to make sure Scott gets to work on time.

Did I mention our cooler died? it did. No good. It still blows air, but it’s not cool. we’re thinking the pump is kaput. we’re going to look into it tomorrow… hopefully! I don’t think i can last ALL day w/o a cooler! Lorna has offered a window cooler if we don’t get it fixed though. So here’s hoping.

I went in for my 6 week appt, all was well, Dr said everything looked like it had healed really well. No offense to him, but I don’t think he was as good as my old OB who was apparently SO magic that he couldn’t even see the scar from my section with Katie. I dont’ think I’ll have that problem this time. It’s not ugly, it’s just not invisible.

My Twilight book has now become so worn from readings/Katie Beatings (that is the beatings Katie gives it, I don’t whack my daughter with a hardback book. Or really at all.) that the cover is coming off. 🙁 No not the dust Jacket. While I enjoy dust Jackets, I mean the hardback binding is broken, and I hate it. Scott is hating having to read it, I put forth a valiant effort IMO to like his book. It’s not my kind of thing, but I found things about the book to discuss with him. I’m trying to draw him out on discussing Twilight as his only statement so far has been “All the men are written like women and it’s clear she didn’t get any masculine input regarding the characters. I know she at least talked to her brothers about the cars, so there  😉

Anyway. I think I’m fairly unapproachable about twilight criticism. I don’t know why it’s one of the few things I feel really passionate about. Worry not fair people. I soon will have a new favorite thing (not unlike Xena, Buffy, and now Twilight) and you will all be released from hearing me blather on about it.

I’ve been toying with the idea for a book myself. I also have been toying with theidea of getting a journal so I can flesh out some of the characters. The only problem is all I have are villains, and no hero. Maybe they can be antiheros? Mmm. maybe not. they’re just unique villains. Maybe it’s not really a book idea at all… just characters I keep in my head.

At some point I’d like to be published. You know … not just internet-I-run-my-own-blog published. Like really write something and have it be published and make money. I would write just about anything… I’d write in a magazine, an online magazine, a collection of short stories, a novel, a comic book, a movie, whatever. I would love to write. I haven’t really written anything since I got married. I’ve even had a hard time blogging regularly… I suppose I think i don’t have much that is interesting to say…. However I do like hearing myself talk.

Derringer Meryl [annoyingly so] OUt

Aug
20
2009
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Never again!

I think it’s no secret that I”m a little sleep deprived right now. So to help out I picked up some geek beer, which is root beer with a TON and a half of caffeine in it.

It seemed like a good idea since I was using toothpicks (metaphorically of course) to keep my eyes open, and i felt like I was going to pass out. So I grabbed two, drank them (one right after the other) thinking nothing of it.

Then, tonight as I keep trying to console my angry, and strangely alert newborn and coax her into sleeping more than 3 minutes, I realize that I’ve sabotaged myself into more not sleeping. It occurs to my sleep deprived mind that I had a lot of caffeine. Then it occurs that what I imbibe is turned into food for the baby… I google caffeine and breastfeeding and get the following information from Kellymom.com:

A baby who is being overstimulated by caffeine is a wide-eyed, active, alert baby who doesn’t sleep for long. He may also be unusually fussy.

Whoopsie. Well. I better work it out. She’s snoozing momentarily, but if this evening is any indicator, she will be awake within an hour and ANGRY that she’s awake.

Derringer Meryl [breast milk blunder] Out

Written by admin in: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , ,
Aug
10
2009
--

Marriage. Family. Photos.

A few girls on my message board are having problems with their marriages. I feel so badly. I wish I could somehow help them, instill some of the happiness that I have.

Something that keeps me happy is having my wedding pictures up. It seems like a DUMB thing, but honestly, it’s one of the best days of my life. Looking at the pictures helps me remember that. Helps me say “Look at Scott, look at how much he loves me. You can see it in his face.” when some days I don’t get to see him, and honestly some days our passing each other is enough to hand off babies and fall asleep. Every minute of our life isn’t happily ever after, and I’ll admit sometimes I get mad about STUPID STUFF (DISHES!!) and it’s nice that when I roll over in bed and think about how I can’t sleep and Scott slept all day (though to be quite frank it’s not about quantity it’s about quality… and, well that’s something else entirely…) and I see our wedding pictures we have hanging on our wall… and I feel so good. I wish I had more pictures on my walls. I LOVE pictures. which is why people get them as gifts from me so often (Mom and Dad ;)) Because it’s a beautiful thing to be able to capture a moment, and remember it forever. I wish I could take pictures. I mean I can, I’m just not… magic about it. Maybe someday I’ll invest some time in it… I’m borrowing my Dad’s nice camera (Ok, not his NEW camera, but a very nice one nonetheless…) and It’d probably be good If i learned how to use it a little.

Even if I never learn, and never get good, I love pictures. I have pictures from when my nephews were little and visited with me all the time, it’s good to remember all these things. i have pictures hanging out with my family on the front porch. I took pictures (as snap-shotty as ever) of The Boy’s First Birthday…. I wish we had taken pictures like we had with Katie for Audrey. With Katie we got a picture of EVERYONE the first time they held her. Those are some of my favorite pictures. I have one of The Specialist holding Katie and I remember the “argument” that Sukie had with him moments before to hold her. The Specialist didn’t want to. They were leaving, Sukie had left the room, and he held her…. And see right now I remember Sukie holding Audrey and saying to Wudan to hold her and get used to it again LOL. I don’t have a picture of Wudan holding Audrey though, so I won’t remember it. I’m sure the memory will fade eventually. I remember with my wedding that between pictures I was humming Brick by Ben Folds Five. I had it stuck in my head, and it was HORRIBLE (it’s a horrible song to have stuck in your head on your wedding day). I have a picture of Scott’s dad giving us bunny ears as we posed. I remember thinking that I’d just edit him out so we could have a nice picture– but I would never ever change it now.

I am feeling grateful for life, grateful for all my happy memories, and the ability to remember them.

Derringer Meryl [wallpaper my life] Out

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