Undone

WAHOO! Entry land. Okay, I’ve been trying to post an entry for the last fifteen minutes. Honest. I”m not completely lazy ya know.

And I update more than once a week like Scott. 😀 Just kidding. I keep him jumping most of the time. I’m a bit of a handful, ya know? I’m always doing something, and thusly dragging Scott with me. Wedding planning is going good.

I GOT MY DRESS! *squeals* I don’t have it with me (at home) it’s getting altered and what not. but it’ll be done in time. I’m so happy. IT means that it’s really getting close now. *smiles*

Lets see.

Um. Right. My OTHER precious is outside. So pretty and Golden. It’s not mine… at all. Or yet or anything. And I don’t need family spazzing out about this, but… Scott and I got a car. Kinda. Maybe. Some kinks need to be worked out. and stuff. I might not have it, Might take it back. Who knows. 🙂

But it’s nice to just look at it and think That’s mine

Scott gets me nice things.

I need to get myself a nice job. Just sent off a resume. Need to find a way to root myself down in American Fork/Orem area without an apartment. *thinks* Maybe… I”ll just go and take the car, and sleep in the car (a la Scott!) Hee hee.

Lots of exciting things are happening. I’m so… very… thin. LIke… not physically thin (duh!) but like Bilbo says in the first movie, he feels like butter that’s been scraped over too much bread. That kind of thin and worn. Like when I sleep, it just isn’t enough.

I got Invader Zim Yesterday! I’m veyr happy. The power was out last night, so I didn’t get to watch it, or type an entry up for in here…. 🙁

I got to go See Van Helsing last night. A lot of people say it sucked. Monkey maintains that it’s a Lion King Ending (with the clouds) and the people at work say the fights rocked (they did!) and the ending sucked (I don’t think so) I think that the ending requires a good grasp on religious aspects to completely understand. I don’t want to give it away, but if you want to understand it, I suggest you pick up the bible and read (Old Testament I do believe)

Or basically take a class in symbolism. 🙂

Derringer Meryl [Basking in Knowledge] Out

I’m going to admit to my greatest phobia ever, right here, on my blog, in front of the entire Internet, and God and everyone.

I’m deeply afraid of needles.

A few things prompted this little revelation tonight (for you, not for me, I’ve known it for a while) First off, Scott wanted me to watch him put his insulin pump in, and learn so I can (if I needed to) put it in for him. He says it’s easier than me dragging him to the hospital in case something happened. It’s true… but there’s that fear of needles thing there. Not real comfortable with the idea of ramming a foreign metal object into the person I love’s body.

But I suppose it would be for the greater good. *yawns*

Secondly, the sheer excruciating pain my foot is in. I’m serious. Imagine this…. you have two layers of skin that are alive. The dermis and the epidermis (the epidermis is the outer layer) well in order for my treatment to be effective, I have to wear down the skin down to the dermis– where it’s raw and tender. First consider that the skin on the bottom of the human foot is very thick, simply because it is the foot. Add to that the fact that these little precious warts are on the ball of my foot (where most of the pressure is) and it makes standing up very uncomfortable… as well as walking. I’ve been walking with a limp lately (just a slight one, especially on stairs) because of the raw pain. My little lovelies (for those who care) span about one inch lengthwise and a half an inch wide tapering off towards the heel.

I hate them. I HATE THEM *SO* MUCH!!!

Anyway. Scott came over, and we watched Uptown Girls and Strange Brew. I thought Uptown Girls was kinda touching. In an odd reverse kind of way. I teared up a little… It wasn’t the best movie ever, and yes, Britney Murphy is a corpse… and a novelty–

I had problems staying awake during strange brew. I’m sure it was very funny… but i have to admit, I wasn’t paying much attention. I just get kinda distracted around Scott. *sighs* I need to do my homework. Maybe I’ll do it tomorrow?

P.S. Happy Church in your Pajamas!

Derringer Meryl [Happy Confrence Weekend]

Ohum, wow. Can I say wow? I had a spectacular time. We played games and watched movies, and it was great. *is speachless* I’m sorry, I’m just… Wow. It was a great day. We watched Star Wars Episode Two, and mocked the bad choice of Anakin, and the ever so stupidly written love themes (They seemed really forced to me.) and then we watched Orange County. Which i didn’t expect to be that good, but it was. (BTW, if my typing is off, it’s because my eyes are super sensitive to the light right now because of my contacts, and i’m trying to avoid looking at the screen.) The movies were great, But i really enjoyed holding Scott’s hand, and leaning on his shoulder. Being cuddly is possibly my most favorite thing ever. 🙂 I think I like it best when i’m cuddly with Scott. :”) I looked at our hands tonight, just sorta watched them at a moment that was rather dull during the movie (probably an Anakin moment) and thought to myself– I wouldn’t mind doing this forever. (Shuts up at the risk of freaking ‘people’ out)

Scott’s siblings were funny, and a joy to talk to. Of course they had to drag out the Pictures of him in school and what not. I thought they were cute, but the sibs claimed them “dorky” I guess i’m just into the geek chic thing. 🙂 it was fun to see Scott interact with them. 😉 Much nicer to them than my oldest brother was to me.

I felt sorta bad, i didn’t eat all of my cake. But then again, I do have that little quirky thing about not liking to eat in front of people. I think I did pretty well other than that. It was really nice to get to know Scott’s family. Put faces and personalities to the names. *nods*

On the ride home Scott said I had an amazing laugh. I appreciate that. I’m pretty insecure about my laugh. I feel like i laugh too loud sometimes. Usually resulting in extreme embarrassment, to either myself or the people with me. I try to keep it down, but what can I say? I love to laugh.

Anyway, I have school tomorrow. I still have to finish up some of it, so I better skedaddle off to bed so i can get up and finish it 🙂

Oh yeah, and If you want to know what the Title and catch line are about go here 😀 Smile, It’s one of my favorite songs. I have the single in Japanese.

Derringer Meryl [But I have an idea! I won’t give up whatever happens] Out

what a bad monkey i am. I only wrote two entries last week.

Let me tell you, last week sucked hobo butt. I don’t mean the clean hobos who are actually fairly well off people who go home to a nice house after panning on the streets all day, I mean the crazy hobo who can’t make any sense when he talks. Yep. That kind of hobo. and possibly a stabbing hobo. Whatever.

I got a new CD, thanks to my mom. I know i’m a sissy girl who still lives with her parents and gets all of this stuff for free. It was actually my mom paying me back for a favor i did, so it’s slightly more legit than me going “Mommy I want this” and therefore getting my way. Most of the time i pay for my luxury items. Magazines and the like, but sometimes I whine enough that my loving mother buys me stuff. *nods* What i really want are the back issues of the Newtype magazine that are sold in a store that is across the valley. (approx. 10 miles, at least we guess as much) *shrugs* Anyway, I got the Newfound Glory, Sticks and Stones CD. I was pretty excited. I was stuck between like four maybe five CDs that I wanted. (that I really really wanted.) The New No Doubt Singles Mix thingy, Liz Phair’s Newest, Alanis Morisette’s Jagged little Pill, Linkin Park Meteora (which I’m getting soon anyway), and Hoobastank’s newest. I’m pretty into music now days, which is a total 180 from what i used to be. I used to not care, I guess i can thank Chunga for that, as well as my old psych teacher (who introduced me to 10,000 Maniacs) 🙂

Speaking of Good tunes, May I suggest My Friends Over You,New Found Glory For your happy intake of musical goodness? You might think NFG is just another punk band, but i beg to differ. They have unique lyrics, and while you’d expect the lyrics to fall into a Dashboard Confessional type Punk (whiney and quiet, though I do still like them) they are still the traditional screaming and angry, though the lyrics are quiet sounding.

Before i get to the lyric spew i need to get something off my chest. I’ve been thinking lately about the line from As Good As It Gets Jack Nicholson’s character says to Helen Hunt’s, “You make me want to be a better man,” and i’ve been thinking. That compliment would make me melt. But when i examine my own dating situations. Anyone who makes me feel like i need to change to be good enough for them, slightly annoys me. I suppose it’s all in the attitude. Being in love enough that you’d change yourself for a person, as opposed to feeling like that person is demanding you change so they can date you. I think that’s the key. (Read Hoobastank’s The Reason Lyrics. You’ll sob, I guarentee.) i hate to hurt people. But i don’t like the feeling that someone won’t like me unless i’m different for them. Maybe that’s just mostly my perception. I don’t know. Maybe it’s not so much that they want me to change as I want to change because i dont’ feel comfortable around them as I am…. If that at all makes sense.

Oh, and if the Specialist happens to be reading this, I want you to ask Antigone if I can ask her some questions. I’m just a curious little monkey. Badger, whatever. I’m some sort of animal or something. Besides a curious little badger doesn’t sound as catchy as a curious little monkey.

Now does it?

Right, Lyric Spew. You know who it is, and what song, so deal with it.

I’m drunk off your kiss

For another night in a row

This is becoming too routine for me

But I did not mean to lead you on

And it’s all right to pretend

That we still talk

It’s just for show, isn’t it

It’s my fault that it fell apart

Just maybe

You need this

And I didn’t mean to

Lead you on

You were everything I wanted

But I just can’t finish what I’ve started

There’s no room left here on my back

It was damaged long ago

Though you swear that you are true

I still pick my friends over you

(My friends over you)

Please tell me everything,

That you think that I should know

About all the plans we made

When I was never to be found

And it’s all right to forget

That we still talk

Its just for fun, isn’t it

It’s my fault that it fell apart

Cuz maybe you need this

And I didn’t mean to

Lead you on

You were everything I wanted

But I just can’t finish what I’ve started

There’s no room left here on my back

It was damaged long ago

Though you swear that you are true

I still pick my friends over you

(My friends over you) x2

Just maybe you need this

You need this…

And I didn’t mean to

Lead you on

You were everything I wanted

But I just can’t finish what I’ve started

There’s no room left here on my back

It was damaged long ago

Though you swear that you are true

I still pick my friends over you

(Repeat)

MY friends over you

Derringer Meryl [So I’m choosing a GUY friend, your point] Out

I want to do this and that

Hey, that’s just how girls are

One slip and it’s to hell you go

So you’d better not get in my way

Aren’t lyrics amazing things? I know, i moon over them a lot. but… song is one of the many ways to truely express how you’re feeling. And it just so happens, if you’re feeling one way, someone who has written a song, has felt that way before too. Like the song this is taken from isn’t even in english, that’s the translation! It’s from the opening song to Slayers, a New anime that i’m entranced with…. I know, it’s like i have a new Anime/song each week, but I suppose if I had a new song and Anime to be taken with each week, i’d never waste a minute of my life. 😀

*coughs* Oh, and about Liz Phair’s lyrics. Sometimes the person you decide to …. relate to, has more… emotions to express in a song… than you do. *smiles nicely* I have the confidence to say, there isn’t a person that i’d actually sleep with in the world right now. : Honest.

I’m completely looking forward to seeing Red next week. I don’t know how much time she plans on spending with me, but if anything happens that we can’t, it sure as hell won’t be because i’m blowing her off…. *blinks* That came out wrong. Blah. Basically, i’m setting the whole damn weekend aside, so i can see Red. That’s that. Oh. and If you’re reading this Hun, I have some wicked things we need to do to Monkey. *smirks* secretly of course. It just wouldn’t be as much fun if he did know. 🙂

*sighs* Have i expressed my concern over him? Monkey that is. He worries me, and …. i probably shouldn’t so much. He’s a grown up, and he can take care of himself. I suppose it’s not that that’s bothering me. I know he’s very capable, in fact he’s capable of so much, it’s astonishing. …. I just wonder if he’s keeping to himself too much. I do believe (this is an educated guess. I have no clue really) that his only social outings are his jobs, and Halo night. That’s what really concerns me. BLah. I shouldn’t be so concerned, as i said before, he can take care of himself, quite capably.

I watched Down With Love yesterday, and i admit, it’s quite a catchy movie, and the songs stick in your head in a way, you’re just not prepared for. Not to mention that Ewan McGregor is endlessly hot (the only good thing about the new Star Wars, he is.) and has the kind of blue eyes that make my legs turn to Jello. Reminds me of J…. *sighs*

I don’t want to spoil it, but it ends in a manner you wouldn’t expect from the beginning. It’s amazing. You’ll just die, and I admit,there is quite a bit of innuendo, it’s nothing more than you’d get in a high school class… or like what i got in my first day of art class in Jr. High. Scared the Bejezuz out of me. *shakes her head* Anyway…. Renee Zelweger is refreshing and cute in the part, DHP is extremely funny, much like his role as Niles on Frasier… not to mention the idea of all the women in the world, abstaining/refusing sex in order to get their way to the top, is hillarious… I do believe it’s because it leaves men in a weakened position when they have gone so long without what it seems what men need so badly… allowing for the more stable woman to achieve whatever she wants… Maybe it’s sexual bribery, but, i think the idea is smart anyway– and i have to admit, the music, rocks!!

Anyway, I had better go. i have a small asian child pestering me to play Old Maid with him. I’m not quite sure i remember how it’s played, but i do believe it’s similar to the game I Win as outlined in the movie Big Daddy.

Derringer Meryl [Male Dominated Society?] Out