Wait a minute wait a minute

I work in a predominantly male department, in a predominantly male field. pretty average I’d say. I work in a technological field, and I code shit all day. (pardon my french)

I work with a great team. THey are funny, they laugh at my jokes, I laugh at theirs, and I”m a pretty flippin’ easy going person. I don’t like to ruffle feathers which can cause problems for me in the long run. There is a balance of “Where is the line here” and people won’t know where the line is unless I say something.  Then again there is the problem of not wanting to be the ever loving whiney little sister that I see myself as. Because, despite being nearly 30 and having two kids and being married for the better part of a decade, I still see myself as the tattler who cries when her older brother says something mean to her. The sensitive soul, or some other BS like that. The squeaky wheel. I’ve fought against my “little sister” tendencies my entire life. I want to be unruffled, and cool. When really I”m silently seething trying to think of a clever quip to toss back at someone who has just said scathingly in my direction. I’m getting better at it, but I am not sure if it’s a talent I should really be honing into a fine skill at this point in my life. Teenager me is jealous that I can toss back verbal barbs the way I do. (Like when I told my boss he was full of crap today.)

Which sounds kind of risky, right? I am a fairly unskilled worker. I am smart. I work hard, I apply myself, but I am not …. certified or anything in anything. SO, yeah. Not a great Idea tell your boss he’s full of crap. On the other hand, my boss is really cool, and knew I was teasing. Like when he told me (and one of my co-workers) to “not worry our pretty little heads” about something.

So the little sister in me is seething. That is only ONE of the vaguely anti-feminist things that was thrown my way… since entering the workforce frankly. It’s not this boss, it’s not even because he’s a white middle aged man. Honestly, I know he thinks it’s funny, it’s like an ironic hipster funny, and if I was truly offended (and yes, you can truly offend me, by talking crap about my mom usually. That’s the one place you just don’t go, Moms are untouchable IMO) I would take it to HR. In a year I won’t care. In a week I won’t care. Because I know (in my heart) that my boss doesn’t mean it. He thinks that I (and my co-worker he said it to as well) are brilliant. He knows that the department wouldn’t function without us (or our Female boss too!)

I’ve had issues being a girl. I was a pretty hard core tomboy for a while. I didn’t want to do lace and dresses. I didn’t like having boobs for a long time (TMI? nah) I have had issues seeing myself as a person. Not because of any sort of gender identity issues (not that there is anything wrong with that.) but because why would I want to be a girl when I could be a boy, just like everyone else in my family? In a lot of ways, girls still get the short end of the stick. People think makin menstruation jokes, rape jokes, 1950’s get in the kitchen jokes, whatever, is cool. It’s not cool. Everything in my life all that I am, all that I will be, doesn’t boil down to me not having a penis. (though guys have it sweet with that peeing anywhere gig.) I’m not just an object in your house. A fixture. to be treated however you please. I am a person. I have thoughts, and feelings, emotions, opinions (that I pretty much always am loathe to express.) I like cats because they are easy going, I hate to clean, I suck at cooking (not for lack of my mom trying to help me learn) I like to quilt, I like watching TV (too much), I excelled at chemistry but sucked at math (all math) I love english. I want to write someday. Everything. I want to tell all of my stories that are stuck up in my head. I want my kids to be proud of who they are, and that doesn’t boil down to genitalia, chromosomes or what have you. You are so much more than that. I am married, to a freakin’ fantastic guy who sees me as his absolute equal. We complete each other. I am not better than him, he’s not better than me, we’re together. We’re standing together on the awards podium at the end.

So you might say that women aren’t as strong as men. And if you’re going to say a statement as broad and as undefined as that, some part of it is going to be true, but that doesn’t mean it’s universally true. Equally the opposite is true; men aren’t as strong as women. We aren’t meant to be the same people, gender notwithstanding. I am not meant to be the same as anyone else. I may be similar. We may look similar, have similar experiences, have hobbies in common, etc. Humans aren’t meant to be the same as each other in a broad scope. they’re meant to complete one another. To intertwine their capabilities to assist each other to propel each other to success.

I don’t care that I’m not the same as men, because I’m not the same as most women either. That’s ok with me. Honest to God, you don’t want me in the kitchen making you a pie, a sandwich, or any other treat, because it will be NASTY. I do walk around barefoot, but most of that time I’m NOT pregnant. I voice my opinion, because it has JUST as much weight as yours.

Don’t tell me I don’t deserve it, dont’ tell me to stay quiet. DO NOT TELL ME what I can and can’t do because I’m a woman. Don’t you even try. Because as soon as I hear it, the shit will have already hit the fan. You can’t unsay it, and I will spend the rest of my days proving you wrong. It’s already what I”m doing, I’ll just add you to the list.

Derringer Meryl [Anything you can do] Out

Powered by WordPress | Aeros Theme | TheBuckmaker.com WordPress Themes