Undone

How many people hold on to a love that can never be– because their lover (which can mean more than just the sexual connotation… for all of you who are half as dirty as I am.) has fled from them. For which ever reason…. there are so many– With words, for a known reason, or without. I can’t imagine not knowing. Not knowing why someone would never want to love you– couldnt’ love you, refused to love you–

Makes a person die a little inside — knowing that someone isn’t willing to risk their heart for them. I know i live life with my heart. I’m the queen of empathy, sympathy, and just– loving. I love life. *smiles secretively* There was a time you wouldnt’ hear me say that. There are good moments, and good FOR you moments. Where you grow– and learn, and that’s where life is. You remember the happy times with fond remembrance, but you embrace the difficult times to increase the strength within you.

You can’t hide from the pain in life. You can’t hide from the death, or the heartbreak. You can try to avoid it– but it eventually finds you. No matter how secluded you are from the world. And you can hate the pain– you can hate all of it– but it doesn’t make it better. It’s like putting salt on an open wound. It burns– and it stings, and it’s general pain, that you cause yourself on purpose. No– hiding definately isn’t the answer for things in life you dislike.

Embrace the painful moments– then move on…

I’m not saying revel in them. I”m not saying enjoy the death of a loved one– but remember them. DOn’t wallow in your pain…. don’t extend it. Feel it. Feel all of it. Every area and extent– and then move past it. Feel the heartbreak, feel the betrayal– but take it, and learn from it. Don’t close yourself off from the world because the world hurts you– but embrace it …. feel sad, lounge in your pajamas for a few days. Eat a carton of Ben and Jerry’s then move on.

Reminisce. Remember the good. Remember the bad. Especially the bad…. it helps you make right choices. Not to avoid the bad– just to make wiser choices in your life.

Derringer Meryl [Someday, I want a prince charming] Out

you stand back, try to be the impassive friend, try to like the little fucker she’s picked out for a boyfriend, and Oh Believe me, I tried. I even talked to the guy

but you can tell he’s bad news, from the moment he says you look like you’d castrate a man. Oh Yeah. You love the guy she’s chosen to spend her time with instead of you. he’s a great guy. but you keep quiet, because it’s the polite thing to do. You keep your mouth shut. Cause you love your friend more than anything, and you want her to be happy, but you see the brick wall she’s about to hit, you want to keep her from it, somehow save her– but it’s too damn late now.

all you have now, to keep her from being sad is Ben and Jerry’s and kicking the bastard in the nuts till he cries like a school girl…. Oh, and since she doesn’t want to do the first one– you’ll do the second. A lot, ya know, to compensate.

and eventually that won’t even make you feel better. and hell, since you’re the one doing bodily harm to him, she’s probably not feeling any better either.

It all comes full circle back to Ben and Jerry’s

Rich Jerks.

What can I say, i’m a funny girl.

After spending a while on my feet (four hours, and i hurt … mostly in my arm joints, go figure that one) i’ve had alittle while to think. And if there’s one thing I know, it’s this:

Ben and Jerry’s DOES NOT Belong in a freezer! It’s meant to be eaten and enjoyed…. instead Monkey left it at work. (oops! on his part)

Along with that I’ve also realized that…. well, I don’t enjoy liking two people at once, and i also don’t particularly enjoy people who buy something, return it, buy something with the return money, and return that, and buy another new game…. all in the matter of like three hours. Go figure.

I took my collages to work, I wanted to show Friendjamin, but he didn’t work today. *frown* And My mom forgot to call the doctor so I can get rid of my friendly friends on my foot. (waves to her warts) I hate them, they are SO embarrassing. *growls* anyway.

There isn’t much to say, Marco doesn’t work today, and I’m exhausted, but happy–

Silent Hill 3 comes out tomorrow. More crazy stab-y death fun! Wahoo! (No, actually for once in my life, i’m serious.)

If you’ve come over here looking for a response to Red’s meandering thought pattern on my mother– Well…. I love my mum. I don’t know why she doesn’t love Red– but I think my mom thinks she’s just protecting me. *shrugs* I don’t live in her brain, so that’s just a guess.

Derringer Meryl [You should go and get the B&J] Out