still no dress,

hating the lateness of the evening

late nights are my enemy with depression. I wallow. I’m trying to stay better. to feel better.

this year (pardon my french) is shit. I hate it. I hate how I’m falling apart all the time. I hate how lonely I feel. I hate how it’s all my fault. it’s hard to be up when you feel so down. I haven’t given up yet. Have a long to do list. after discussing things, I am calling my therapist, and working things out… I don’t think I’ll go back as often. I do still need help.

I wish i could just magically feel better. I wish I could just let go of all the things about myself I hate. I wish i could truely see what others thought of me.

I wish i could be free of the prison I’ve placed myself in. I wish i could reach out to someone. I’m too scared of what they’d think of me.

here i am. trapped inside my own head, with too much to do, and too little time.

derringer meryl [trapped] out

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