Undone

Scott was pretty tired, and didn’t get to write an entry into his journal. That just means I get to first. 😀 Ha ha ha!

We went to The Pie last night for Artemis’ birthday party. We got there first, because we’re apparently more prompt than the very people who were hosting the party. *shrugs* it’s not uncommon. Anyway. Everyone got there in a lump sum, pretty much. Artemis with Dateless (I really should change his name…) Guts, Monkey, and a few other people from work that don’t have nicknames on here, because they work at other stores. anyway. They stood in line and ordered while all of us sat and chatted. The first eventful thing of the night was Monkey screaming “YOUR FIANCE IS WIRED!” and like five tables turning to look at us. I’m sure they all needed to worry, since half of them looked like frat boys out with the local sorority. *rolls her eyes* After Monkey got done screaming, we both explained (to either end of the table) that Scott has Diabetes, and it was his insulin pump. I’m sure if Monkey had been paying attention, he would have been embarrassed. Monkey and Guts both ate wax on a dare (from me, heh heh) I gave Artemis the gift of Pocky. (happies!) I met a few new people, but I couldn’t tell you their name if you asked. it was around ten when Gert got there, and I introduced Scott. We can both attest to the hilarity of his look when I said “This is my fiance, Scott.” I seriously wish I had taped it, so I could play it back for you. It was great. *nods* He said congratulations to us, which I was really appreciative of. I told him thank you, and that no one else was really very fond of the idea. (Which If you read the previous entry, I don’t really care about. THP)

Guts came and sat by us for a second, and I asked him to punch Monkey in the side, which he did for me because I’m like his little sister, and he just loves me that much, i know. 😀 I’d never abuse my powers. We went back to my house to watch the end of School of Rock, and talk to my sibs. Scott got to meet Wudan and Sukie (as their nicknames online are) for the first time. Basically we hung out. I have to say, it was a VERY fun night, with the smiling and the cuddling and the hand holding. 🙂

I just need to get a few things done, and I can stay at Mandarin’s house tonight… I hope. 😉 BTW, any one can comment, you don’t have to sign up for anything or sell your soul or anything…. I just like to hear your feed back, k? Not a big deal. 🙂

Derringer Meryl [Need to Get Ready] Out

More scandal and drama they chant.

Alright. I went to work last night (gasp horror) I know everyone at work’s POV on marriage, because we talk about everything together. I thought, in my pre-telling rundown, that Artemis would wig uberly, The Mouth would shrug it off, and that would be that. (I knew I was working with these people, so ya know, I only had expectations for them)

It was a complete fiasco. I told the Mouth first. Hoping that it’d go over well. His eyes got all big and round in his head and he got loud. “You’re what?” and what not, and how long have you even known him, blah blah blah. That’s when Artemis wanted to know what was going on. I had planned not to tell her until later in the night…. so much for that. She didn’t care, shockingly, and simply said to me “No one is gonna know if it’s right but you.” Which i figure is as close to a “Congratulations” from her I’m gonna get. At this point the Mouth is text messaging Guts, who doesn’t believe it. Of course he calls later to talk to Artemis and i tell him then… in the funniest way possible.

Me: “Hey Guts, wanna talk to Artemis?”

“No. Did we traumatize your boyfriend last night?”

I hesitate. “Actually he isn’t my boyfriend anymore.”

“What? Do i need to bust some kneecaps?”

Me: “He’s my fiance.”

“OMG! Really? I think i’m gonna cry!”

*nods* He probably would have busted Scott’s kneecaps If I’d just told him to… *blinks* but I certainly don’t want that. That would make me really upset… Now, he could bust The Mouth’s kneecaps… Okay okay, i’m just kidding.

I also told some of them that I wouldn’t be staying around much longer. Now I admit, I love working at the GS. Its’ great. I love it. But it pays for nothing. not even a video game, brand new, with each pay period. That’s how crappy my pay is. So after finals I’m getting a new job (That’s roughly eight weeks from now.) and Hopefully I can save up to buy things. (Ring, Shoes, Cake… etc)

after the fiasco at work (i’m leaving some of the uneventful tellings out. They’re interesting, but not drama) I came home and got into my pj’s at record speed, and ran downstairs to my computer. 🙂 All night I was pretty much staring at the clock, saying “I just want to go home.” It was stuck in a pretty negative environment last night. Made me really wish that Scott was closer, so I could get hugs and glomps from him 😉 (Glomp: To tackle from the back in an embrace. Usually performed by girls. Looks like cross between a hug and a piggy back ride.) I really miss him, and i’m grateful that I get to see him tonight… I’m sorta scared to tell everyone else, so maybe I’ll tell them right before I leave. I guess it’s because i dont’ deal well with confrontation and despite being in debate when very loud voices are involved i usually forget my arguments.

I just don’t want to hear them demean what I know to be right. (Why I don’t talk about the gospel at work) It doesn’t matter if they don’t believe that I can know that I love Scott already. Because I do. More than anything. It doesn’t matter if they disapprove, because they were only invited to the reception anyway. (Nah nah nah nah nah!) I love Scott, and he loves me, and that’s all that really matters. That we know that this is right. That God says it’s right. That’s all that matters to me.

Derringer Meryl [To heck with the disapprovers] Out

I love to watch my counter steadily go up because of my entertainment value. It’s really quite interesting. 🙂 That’s why I love you guys.

Anyway, I came back from my shopping trip with:

A new black (very swanky) t-shirt, Two new pair of earrings (i haven’t bought earrings since I was fourteen), A very snazzy set of dice, a drink for my mom and I, and a slip (cause I can’t find mine)

I’ve decided on wearing a skirt I already own (which is pretty amazing since i found a pink skirt I fell in love with, but decided against buying for the sheer price of it.) Mom thought it was funny that I spent two hours in a shopping mall and came out with a plain black t-shirt and earrings. I corrected her by saying that the shirt was pretty spiffy, and not bad at all. *nods*

I went and Talked to J-bob for a minute after I got my dice, did I mention they are the coolest dice ever?? And I told him everyone at the store has all the sudden gone “Lets go drinking” crazy. Cept Gert, and recently Guts. The thing is, Guts is pretty dang cool. He knows what i mean when I say that I don’t have to drink to know it isn’t that much fun. Mom said she could bartend for them, mix em up some drinks, charge $300 for the one drink, and they could have the same experience as being drunk, with one drink. Mom’s not an alcohol enthusiast, she planned on giving them some of this Fleet stuff, and it literally is designed to clean you out. *nods* She figured she could make a tidy sum off of charging them a ton of money to go and get ten dollars worth of that stuff. Trust me, it’d make you never want to drink anything my mom gave you again. *shakes her head* Yep, i’d have to say it’s the extereme drinking experience.

Anyway. I took a long nap this afternoon. I think I’ve been this odd kind of testy lately. Extremely defensive of my good mood. (Grood Mood. I mean Good, and great. Great and good.) So anything that could possibly set me off in a bad mood, makes me angry really fast, and then I’m back. It’s like being the hulk or something. Today at the mall some girls (teens, psh) were making rude noises at my mom and i. Normally I’d write it off to adolescence and how hard it must be to be a girl now a days (I know, but really.) and somehow demeaning other people gave those girls a boost. Well, I wasn’t about to let their boost set my boost down lower. Normally I’m really passive, but I went to tell Customer service. I’m in with the Security at the mall (I used to work there.. heh.) So I told them, and the girls got kicked out.

Now, you could look at it as mean, but I’m not really tolerating anyone who is raining on my bloody nice parade. I’ve been extremely nice to people who rang me up today, even if they were pretty ditzy, and Just really– Nice. Those girls made me want to maim them…. making dog barking noises at me and my mom. It may make me a tattle tail, but life is hard enough without having stupid teenage girls sit (not do anything productive) just sit at the mall and make fun of passing people. The world doesn’t really need that. I mean, if you’re gonna hang out at the mall. Play tag, try on clothes, play a board game, play hide and go seek. I don’t care. Just don’t rain on my parade.

*sighs* now i’ve made enough of a deal about that… I should probably get to work on my essay, and what not. 🙂

Derringer Meryl [Homework… is the devil] Out

Feeling the pressure of other not so happy things happening in my life right now. I guess it’s the after Christmas sting. My family could use me to give up the ghost at Gamestop and work some place that pays me decent…. oh and works me decent hours. It’s just hard to find a job late at night, ya know? Most REAL jobs are during the day. I think i’m just gonna have to stick to school until after finals, find a real job, and work Gamestop and a real job at the same time. There just is no winning. I don’t like feeling the stress of needing money. If I wasn’t so sold on the whole society thing, i’d be a hermit and not need all of this crap.

It’s hard. Really Really hard. I haven’t saved a spec for college next term. I haven’t focused on anything really. I need to do something, ANYTHING to make up the difference. If I could, I’d work at a restaurant, but most places won’t hire me yet. I’m not twenty-one so I can’t work for them yet, as far as I know. Besides, I would have to ask Gert to make my schedule stable enough so I could actually get another job. Then there’s the question, when would i have time for me? Two jobs and full time school. Ick. I’d pretty much be cutting out any time i could spend with Scott or anyone else for that matter. Besides the fact I don’t know when I’d do my homework. *sighs* I can see the option of taking up sunday work at work, then i could get one extra shift in a week.

But…. I really don’t want to do that.

Blah. Onto other things.

Like happy things. I went to see Marco today. He says it’s nice to see me with a huge grin on my face. I have to say that it’s nice to be grinning this much. I like the reason that i’m grinning too. 🙂 I’m waiting to do my homework until later on tonight, i’m such a procrastinator, so i can talk to Scott while i’m doing it. 😉 it’s just so much more fun to do things when i’m talking to him, it’s funner just being around him. I smile and I talk, and I say things… and i’m just giddy that i met him, and that i know him. He’s different from anyone else i’ve ever met. It makes me smile, just thinking about it. Sorta makes all the bad things go away in life. It’s really … really…. nice. It’s wonderful. I don’t think i know words for how good it feels. 🙂 I definitely want to spend more time with him. Normally i’m a pretty shy person, but when i’m with Scott, i just feel like i don’t need to be. Like it’s okay.

Like I’ll be okay.

Anyway, I have a lyric Spew, I may have already done this one but i’m not sure i care. It’s Postal Service Which is one my favorite bands, groups, whatever. I’m not sure what they are. *nods* but this is their song Such Great Heights.

was thinking it’s a sign that the freckles

in our eyes are mirror images and when

we kiss they’re perfectly aligned

and I have to speculate that god himself

did make us into corresponding shapes like

puzzle pieces from the clay

and true, it may seem like a stretch, but

its thoughts like this that catch my troubled

head when you’re away when I am missing

you to death

when you are out there on the road for

several weeks of shows and when you scan

the radio, I hope this song will guide you

home

they will see us waving from such great

heights, “come down now,” they’ll say

but everything looks perfect from far away,

“come down now,” but we’ll stay…

I tried my best to leave this all on your

machine but the persistent beat it sounded

thin upon listening

and that frankly will not fly. you will hear

the shrillest highs and lowest lows with

the windows down when this is guiding

you home

Anyway, i’m flipping through some job ads, so I better keep my mind on that for a while. I might start my homework at nine or so, maybe. 🙂

Derringer Meryl [No Body Else] Out

Learning more and more about myself each day. The Mouth helped out today. He made me feel better about myself. He can do that, he just usually chooses not to.

You’re an INFJ

INFJ

You’re future-oriented, and direct your insight and inspiration towards understanding yourself and thereby, human nature…your work mirrors your integrity….reflects your inner ideals…solitude and a chance to concentrate thoroughly on what counts most is important to you…you like to quietly exert your influence…you have deeply felt compassion and desire harmony with others…you’ll go to great lengths to avoid conflict…

You understand the complexities existing within people…you don’t call a lot of attention to yourself…you like to let your accomplishments do your talking….you look for a small group of people who understand and appreciate you and hang with them….you’re gentle and don’t like violence…

You’d rather have a few close friends instead of be at a big party …you’ll do well in college as your “day in the sun” where your brains count more than they did in that ol’ shallow high school…you want your work to contribute to the general good…

You have a strong love of learning…you get along well with teachers and older people…you write well ’cause you can formulate your ideas clearly… you have integrity and consistency….you don’t like the “politics” at work.. you’d rather be able to talk honestly with people than “play games.” (you still play games on the Storm Palace, but would rather post! 🙂 )…intuitive insights into situations…

You’re quiet yet persistent and determined in your efforts toward long-term goals….when you work toward your vision, you win cooperation rather than demand it…even if you don’t lead others, you still facilitate things… leisure time usually is solitary or involves the company of others particularly important to you…you’re perfectly happy just sitting around with close buds discussing feelings…you’d rather have longstanding friends than make many new acquaintences…these deep friendships are important to you, even though you may not share much about yourself…

You become attracted to someone special and prefer this one deep one over many superficial ones…this depth, though, is only partially communicated outwards…you like a regular “date”, revisiting the place where you first met your mates, or doing other symbolic things that help to continue or confirm the existence of the bond.

You may have an ideal standard of the way love is…you’re often disappointed when reality doesn’t quite match up….you want to give love and be loved… you enter into relationships just to be cared for…even when the other person isn’t right for you and you know it….when you meet the right person, though, you are quick to get involved with them and make it a serious one… you’ll end other relationships to be with this “right” one….

When you’re scorned, you take it personally and retreat inward…you may obsess about the relationship and your role in the failure…you blame yourself for a failed relationship and might even need a period of mourning.

You should watch out for becoming blinded by the idealism of your visions or if you focus only on your ideas…this could make you ignore reality when it contradicts those lofty ideals…you could stay with a belief or commitment beyond what the facts would support (stubborn?)…you’re loyal…

Also, you could lose out if you don’t act assertively and are reluctant to intrude on others with your ideas…as a result, you could keep many important things to yourself…you’ll then feel that your ideas are underestimated or unappreciated…maybe you should develop political saavy or assertiveness to sell your ideals…finally, you should be forthright with criticism of others…you’re always doing the “If you can’t say some- thing nice….” stuff. After you hold it inside, you’ll blow up eventually.

INFJ: “Inner Nuances Fosters Journeys”

Derringer Meryl [Looking for Someone More] Out