Undone

I’ve fallen in love with Postal Service thanks to Friendjamin from work– 🙂 and this is my all time favorite song of theirs. Artemis says it’s the best break up song ever. And I agree. It’s not conventional– but still– good. Awesome, and amazing.

LYRIC SPEW! Postal Service, Nothing Better

Will someone please call a surgeon who can

crack my ribs and repair this broken heart that

you’re deserting for better company?

I can’t accept that it’s over: I will block the door

like a goalie tending the net in the third quarter

of a tied-game of rivalry

So just say how to make it right

and I swear I’ll do my best to comply

Tell me am I right to think that there could be

nothing better

then making you my bride and slowly growing

old together

I feel I must interject here, you’re getting carried

away, feeling sorry for youself with these

revisions and gaps in history.

So let me help you remember. I’ve made charts

and graphs that should finally make it clear.

I’ve prepared a lecture on why I have to leave

So please back away and let me go

I can’t my darling I love you so…

Tell me am I right to think that there could be

nothing better

than making you my bride and slowly growing

old together

don’t you feed me lines about some idealistic

future

your heart won’t heal right if you keep tearing

out the sutures

I admit that I have made mistakes and I swear

I’ll never wrong you again

you’ve got a lure I can’t deny, but you’ve had

your chance so say goodbye

Derringer Meryl [Ripping sutures] Out

Wedding Bells? Is that what I can hear?

Yeah, it is. My friend Hikergirl, is getting married this month. I’m excited for her, just because she’s so happy. I can’t help but wishing her the best, and I’m going to get her a present from me… just me, not my parents too. *smiles*

See– the year my brother and sister-in-law got married, i had a real rough time with them getting married– I wrote about it in here, I just can’t remember where i did, for the life of me. … anyway. It was way hard for me. and for some reason, I told her– I told her, this friend of mine. In fact I told everyone in my ward that i tried to kill myself. I don’t know why I did, and i still don’t– but i was walking back to the car to go back down the canyon (i wasn’t camping with the rest of them.) and she hugged me so tight– so tight… that i knew she cared. I knew it meant something to her– me living. We were never close– not like Red and I are, or anything, but we always had something– we’d talk and what not– and i wish her the best in her new life. The very best. If there’s anyone in this world who deserves it, it’s her. I never told her how much it meant to me– that hug– but you bet i will.

Life is made up of little moments– like that one — that make it worth living.

Derringer Meryl [If i could do anything] Out

So many things– that i just wonder about. I’ve been getting out later, and later at work….. especially when i work with Gert. I know i’m not doing anything that’s different, so i’m wondering, what’s taking so long? *blinks* eh…

and so much for the idea of “Don’t point out pretty girls in front of other girls.” yeah. Every (or darn close to it) girl who walked by our store yesterday got a “How you Doin’?” from Gert. *frowns* but what am i supposed to do? I can’t say anything– I can’t do anything– Good Grief. I can’t say “Hey Gert, I think you’re pretty funny, I really like spending time with you– and the bottom line is– i really like you.” No. Cant’ do that. Want to know why?

CAUSE HE’S MY FREAKING BOSS, duh!!! You can’t say things like that to bosses. You can’t say things like that to people you work with for that matter. Thinking you can is fallible. You’re wrong. and if you for some reason think “MY case is different, it’ll work out for ME….” you’re just fooling yourself– you delusional freak. Heh. *whispers* though i’ve wanted to give him the address to my blog here for a while…

Right-

Oh, By the way, Happy October!!!

I bought the first DVD of Slayers today. I should be getting my copy of Inu Yasha and DN Angel soon too (tomorrow, or friday) and so i’ll be in Anime Heaven. 🙂

Time to cook dinner. Oh, and because of my special friend — i get to stay home and watch Angel. 😐 Ick about the friend. Yippie about the Angel!! 🙂

Derringer Meryl [off to cook some dinner] Out

I worked at Gert’s roommate’s store tonight. It was nice to be able to clean his store up– and help him out a little. He’s a really nice guy– and very friendly… I really must think him up a code-name *smirks* I have it. I’ll call him Dateless. Everyone teases him about not having a date in quite a while, but all in all, i think it’s because the girls here are waiting for some dashing prince charming, who just isn’t going to come– and are simply missing the warm, funny, polite, kind and gentle guys around them.

Trust me– You don’t get everything you want in a mate, you give and you take on somethings, just stick it out on the important ones. That’s all i know, that’s all the wisdom i have to impart.

But there i am, working at Dateless’ store, and i was thinking that I could get used to it there. Not that I don’t love working at Gert’s store, he’s absolutely wonderful– which is mainly why I don’t want to work with him any more… because it’s unprofessional to date those you work with, I know that. Shit. I feel bad for dating monkey while we worked together– it was a bad idea… *sad eyes* i’m not going to focus on that right now-

anyway– the store is fairly easy to keep up, and i could date Gert (if i so chose) and i’d be away from Monkey … i’d still be in the company… though i’d be away from Artemis. that makes me sad, i do greatly admire her, and love to talk with her. Friendjamin is moving away, so either way, he’s going to be gone. I’d have to work with one pompous Animeboi. He annoys me …. probably because he turns me on so much. Which is icky, because he’s smarmy and ew, and… EW. really. he’s ew.

Why does it sound like i’m trying to convince myself? *shrugs*

anyway, I think i’ve caught myself an illness, so i’m going to go sleep, at a semi-reasonable hour.

Derringer Meryl [living the only way i know how] Out

justabout to leave for work–

but i thought it was worth mentioning, because of my obsession, that Dido’s new CD is out today. Go buy it. She deserves to be rich. I said so.