Undone

First day of full time college. Weird. Can i say that? Of course I can, I just felt like asking…. for no reason. I didn’t run into Monkey, which I find slightly a good thing. I didn’t need any help making this day stressful…. (I’m going to add in here that Monkey is a great guy… I just… It’s a me thing when it comes to stress… not him.)

Mom wants me to join the on campus Anime club, which i’m totally for, Ya know… cause it’s anime, and i’m with a bunch of people who are as geeky about Anime as me. (I’m the uber geek, otherwise known as an Otaku. I own a LoTR Barbie, I think I fall into the Otaku catagory. I take Standee’s home from work and dissect them. I want to get a subscription to Newtype Magazine. I’m taking psychology just for fun. I write fanfiction. I make collages. I own five seasons of Buffy and One of Angel. I own two complete anime series, and portions of several others. I convinced my mom to buy a magnetic poetry calander….. I have a toy collection that rivals my siblings’. I have a larger doll collection than most girls my age (I have one for every year i’ve been alive, and then some). I cosplay (Inu Yasha, Steve, and various other anime characters, oh, and Buffy)

Which makes me think of the time I cosplayed as Buffy. I was depressed…. uberly so. I don’t remember why. Maybe it was because every guy who is interested in me… *sighs* doesn’t REALLY know me. Who knows. But– to make me feel better, Red dressed me up pretty (like Buffy) and did my hair (like Buffy’s, only in my shade of brownish red) I had a sleeveless turtleneck on, and skirt, which I love to this day even though it’s at Red’s house, which was horrifically short. If it hadn’t been for the fact that Red told me every five seconds that I looked pretty, I would have ran away, and put on long pants. But when we got there, my friends (guy friend specifically) helped me feel better too. They complimented me on my outfit, and while i still felt uneasy, all it took was a glimpse of my ex to solidify any sort of emotion i had. I became confident and happy. Anything to look like i didn’t need him. *nods*

I was giddy. I still am at the thought. that was positively the most empowering outfit ever. Marco and Staples liked the outfit too. which is good…. always good. *smiles at the memory* one of the best nights of my high school life.

Derringer Meryl [dressing for the occasion] Out