Jan
11
2004

In an Awkward Limbo

“Any romantic feelings that were there, aren’t anymore. But still i’m driven insane. What does she have that I don’t? Is it her attitude? Is it her hair? Her body? I admit freely she’s much trimmer than me…. God. What is it about brown hair that makes someone stare right through you? And I wonder still now if we ever had anything. If it was anything. I shouldn’t. I know it. It’s stupid TO wonder. because the past doesn’t matter anymore. Especially not to you. You’ve already moved on….. It’s her eyes. I’m sure. Maybe not. Maybe it’s just a whole… package. And God, could she be more of a stark contrast to me. Not like black and white, cause someone might insinuate that one is better than the other… no. That’s not it. it’s like…. comparing yellow to blue. Both equally good colors, but… sometimes people just favor yellow over blue. How could you not? and there are so many people yelling at me to budge. To move. To go on. I’m not stopped. I’m moving… and contemplating what i’ve passed. Nothing is as simple as a date. I’ve spent too much time being hurt over stupid things to let the sweet things in life slip so quickly away from me. And you were the only thing that made me feel right…. in the longest time. Still…. if i could go … back. I would. I’d change things– but– not the outcome. I don’t regret that….

I regret telling you.”

*Claps for herself* That’s just a taste of my free thought writing. Isn’t it great? I enjoy writing it. It’s rather fun. *coughs* Oh. Right. You’re realizing that i’m not supposed to be at home RIGHT now, right? Well. I’m not feeling well… and so… yeah. I’m …. just…here. 🙂 At home. Writing free thought prose.

And I have a lyric spew, now, for once I do it on a Sunday. 🙂

Rapid Hope Loss, Dashboard Confessional

You’ve come to say you want it all,

but I can’t say I blame you now.

Sometimes you got to fall before you’re found out.

Thanks for waiting this long to show yourself,

Because now that I can see you,

I don’t think you’re worth a second glance.

So much for all the promises you’ve made.

It served well and now you’re gone

And they’re wasted on me.

So much for your enduring sense of charm.

It served well and now you’re gone

And it’s wasted on me.

You’ve come to say you want it all,

but I can’t say I blame you now.

Sometimes you got to fall before you’re found out.

Well thanks, thanks for waiting this long to show yourself, to show yourself

Because now that I can see you,

I don’t think you’re worth a second glance.

So much for all the promises you’ve made.

It served well and now you’re gone

And they’re wasted on me.

So much for your enduring sense of charm.

It served well and now you’re gone

And it’s wasted on me.

I guess that all you got is all you’re gonna get.

So much for, so much for…..

I guess that all you got is all you’re gonna get.

So much for, so much for…..

Do what you want, if that’s what you wish.

I can’t see…

You’ve got a sense…

You’ll find a way to make things right.

I guess that all you got is all you’re gonna get.

So much for, so much for….

I guess that all you got is all you’re gonna get.

So much for, so much for….

Derringer Meryl [Nothing is as it seems] Out

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