Undone

and this one time, at band camp….

Oh, right, nevermind about that. I just got done watching The Best of Will Ferrell who is, admittedly, one of the funniest guys who was ever on SNL. (Which happens to be one of my favorite shows!) It made me get my mind off things for a little while. It’s a good thing, for me to occasionally regain my mind from the desolate wasteland of thought.

And some people think that thinking too much isn’t possible. God, lock them in a room with me for an hour, and they’ll change their mind, to the extra extreme.

I over think everything. what i’m wearing, how my hair looks, how I look, if i’m good enough for everyone’s standards. Then I think about other stuff, not my stuff, not directly related to me… Like my friends. Like if Red is going to be able to get all of her homework and her debate stuff done and not flip out, and spiritually die because of the stress, or I think about how my Boss really Really needs a date, because he’s so unbelievably grouchy about stuff, and then I wonder what i can do about any of it. Like everyone’s problem is my problem, and while i know i can’t fix them all myself, I like to be able to … help. Say “I did a little good, huzzah, and maybe they feel a little bit better.” It’s more selfish than it is selfless. I figure, i feel better, they feel better, and we all benefit.

have you ever just drove past someones house, and just not gone in, or like stopped or anything, but you just drive by to reassure yourself that they’re okay. Like driving by can do that, but you feel better just… seeing their house…

Okay. I’m a psycho. I just like to drive past places that comfort me. But between shooting up on Junk and driving past someone’s house once in a while, i think the driving past is … well less abusive to msyelf, and very much not illegal. unless they have a restriction against you, in which case i’d say, you’re a sick little puppy.

Im not tired, but i can’t sleep–

probably because i have constant conspiracy theories running through my brain ….

Derringer Meryl [trust no one] Out