Undone

Honest. I didn’t mean to do it. It was all just some big huge, horrid mistake, that’s gone all out of control.

I’m my own worst enemy

Being the Femmenazi (pronounced by a friend of mine’s brother) I should hate all those girls who dress like whores, and make guys stand on end…. and I don’t mean on their tippy-toes either. I should hate all of it, the skimpy clothes and all that stuff.

But I am so beginning to embrace it. I”m the local ‘nurse’ at forum I attend. I’m not talking your school nurse that’s fifty bazillion years old. I’m talking “HELLOOOOOOO NURSE!” Type thing.

I hate people like that. I hate cartoons like that. I think I know why though. I hate them because I dont’ know how to be that way. I don’t know how to be the timid little *tee hee* size four and a half girl because i’ve never been that. I’ve always been the girl who wasn’t afraid to kick some self serving sexist pig of a boy’s shins with my boots.

I can tell you from experience– Guys don’t like that.

They like the *Tee hee* Size four girl. They’re scared of the other girls. They dont’ want to be around them. They’re too different for their little minds to comprehend. I dont’ want to think about fixing myself. I’ll do it later. I’ll do it after I’m done with being the tee-hee size not so four. That’s when I’ll fix it. When guys stop liking it– that’s when I’ll stop.

Yeah right. I think i’ll stop now. Because no matter how much I hate not being liked, I hate acting like I’m something that i’m not even more. I hate running around all giggly and happy when I’m not.

No, that doesn’t mean you can have my old wardrobe. I’m keeping it. You’d be amazed the horrid things you can do to pigs that say you’re not good for anything but lookin’ good and spurtin’ out babies–

With denim jeans and a long chain of beads. HAHAHA!

I know i’m wicked, but everything i learned about being so wicked I learned in — well… where did I learn this….

oh– right– from my anger and some self righteous jerk who thinks the only way you can play a video game is with wang.

HA! WORSHIP THE POWER OF NO WANG! HAHAHA!

I can play- I suck- But I CAN PLAY TOO!

Derringer Meryl [Reach out and embrace] Out