Undone

A couple of fiascos today.

Last night my mom and I finally went out and got the material for the blouses for the bridesmaids. It’s just plain red, so no worries on that front, sorta. I’m not gonna scan it in, but we’re certainly hemming and hawing on whether it matches or not. *sighs* Sometimes it does. It looks really great together, and other times I can hear the people coming to my wedding reception whispering “What the hell was she thinking?” While this is a regular occurrence at most weddings considering the grossness of most bridesmaid dresses– And what not, I’m just really hoping it works out. I don’t want them to say “I hate you so much for making me wear this Meryl.” I didn’t hate my bridesmaid dresses. I didn’t. Now i’m looking at what i’ve put out almost two paychecks for, and wondering what in Heaven’s name is going on in my brain.

All I know is that this wedding feels far enough away to drive me insane, but close enough to taunt me. I know what Scott means about wishing that going home meant to him, and not from him. Though I admit, I do make Scott spend a lot of time up here with me. That’s one thing i’ve disliked about my sibs and their significant others. Usually they take them away and bring them back once in forever. (no Offense to any of them, it’s just nice to hang out with them once in a while) So I’m starting to feel a little guilty in how much Scott time I’m honestly monopolizing. I love being with Scott, I’m just wondering how much of an annoyance i’ve become to his family.

Also I’ve gained a new appreciation for my sister-in-laws. It’s really hard gaining a new family. Especially for me, I tend to be very shy, and very “Hide behind Scott” ish. I’m a quiet person by nature– it’s very rare to get me into talk mode, and then once i’m there, i usually stay there for a good while. It’s a note of how comfortable I feel with Scott’s friends as I can talk with them freely without Scott around. I was even shocked at how easily I seemed to fit in and feel comfortable. I really REALLY want to spend time with Scott’s sisters, I just have this horrible life where everyone screams at me to pay attention to them. I’m thinking I’m going to clear April third off, ask them to clear April Third, and then me, Care Bear and Scott’s sisters can all go hang out and do something. I don’t know what, but I have all these new people in my life, and I seriously need to make an effort to get to know them.

as a disclaimer though, I’m not trying to replace anyone. Being the little sister in family of several married sibs, I know how much I want(ed) my sister in laws to think I was cool, and want to go do things with me, and have things in common. I’m just trying to do that. Trying to include as many people as possible, and trying to offend as few of them as possible. I have that talent though. Pissing people off. *nods* I wish I hadn’t practiced so much as a child.

It’s odd, I was never a very social person, but I always wished I was. Now it seems like everyone wants me to pay attention to them, and I don’t know how. I don’t know how to function in a lot of social instances, or maybe i used to, and i’m just really feigning ignorance. I’m not sure. If I am, I’m even convincing myself. I’m just really– not sure. I know it’ll take a lot of work, but I know i’d like to fix a few things too. I feel scattered, and lost… and just frazzled. I don’t know how to get married. I don’t know how to plan, and honestly if it was possible to do in the LDS faith, I’d so elope. Not that i don’t love all of this stuff (is eating her foot again) I’m just…. all over the place. trying to keep in touch with people and trying to put this wedding together nicely enough that people don’t shudder in fear when they enter into the reception area.

And I sorta just feel like sleeping (which I’ll probably be doing in a few minutes.)

Derringer Meryl [Scott Withdrawl] Out

Alright you lucky bridesmaids (and Maid of Honor) to be, this is the thing. … I’m an impatient person. It’s pretty insane trying to get Four schedules to fit into a place where we can all go and look at pretty fabrics. So I was out shopping today and found a pretty fabric…. and so– I bought ten yards of it. (that’s thirty feet, and 360 inches, just to break it down for you.) It’s a lot of fabric, pretty heavy, rivaling the weight of an xbox.

Basically, this is the fabric for the skirt. Now…. Before you moan and wail, please consider that I have a bolt (yes an entire bolt) of ugly teal fabric in the back room, no less than ten feet from where I am right now. This is not pretty teal. This is teal that nightmares are made of. I threaten you with that into liking this fabric. The tops will be made red. I hope you like red. You will be wearing red for two nights (One reception the night of, and an open house a week or so later.) I don’t want to go all bridezilla and force you guys into liking it. It has an oriental flare…. Ish– and I’m really not trying to punish you guys– simply allow you to experience my style for a night or two… hee hee.

Now that’s out of the way…. I’d still like to have Scott’s sister’s come and hang out on Friday– maybe we’ll work on the skirts, maybe we’ll leer at Orlando Bloom in Elf attire… Maybe we’ll just sit around and giggle like freaks. I don’t really care. The bridesmaid dresses are really just a ploy so I can get to know you better. 🙂

I remember when my oldest brother got married. I had never had a sister before, and I was really excited. She didn’t take a particular shine to me (we don’t have a lot in common. She doesn’t hate me, we just … don’t really talk much) she was much too busy mooning over my brother. Ick. that annoys me. Now– I admit, i’m moony over Scott, but I don’t think it has to get in the way of how cool I think I am. 😀 (If that made sense to you, i’m happy.) *nods* So, basically, I want to be the great sister-in-law that I have (because the sister in laws I do have *ARE* great!) But i’m going to be alittle different, I can hang out with people Sans Scott. I have confidence in this. Especially since Saturday– where I hung out with Scott’s friends for an hour and a half (I’m guessing here…) and wasn’t feeling awkward the entire time. Some people feel like “I’m only so-in-so’s fiance, no one cares what i think” but I don’t get that vibe from Scott’s friends. I think they’re very eager to meet someone new, genuinely nice and warm friendly people. *nods* I haven’t felt this welcome since I was … like … um… Five I think. Maybe nine or so. *nods* It’s been a while in anycase.

I was driving home from the store, I just remembered this so i thought i’d add it, and I was thinking about how boys can buy girls flowers and presents and things randomly– and it’s cute. I feel like girls couldnt’ do that so much. I mean, sure I’ve done it before– I’ve bought things for a guy i’ve been dating– even made things– but… it always felt awkward and weird. I don’t know. I think it’s stupid. Honestly, what would you buy a guy to say “Hey, i was just thinking of you, and I really love you.” I mean, flowers… I don’t know a lot of guys who know their way around flowers enough to be touched (remembers she needs to call the florist) and well, the option of sending something like candies with Scott is just right out. (Hello, I love you, how about a box of death?) I don’t know. It’s odd. I usually settle for randomly IMing him at work *cough cough* just to say I love him. (No, you may not gag on the sap factor here.) I just don’t think it’s fair– *pouts* and he has bigger hands so I can never win the tickle war.

Derringer Meryl [Derranged Today] Out

So one of the three votes are in (sorry Specialist, I’d like to see you in that swag top though– :)) and the bohemian and the swag are in the lead. I just need Scott’s other sister’s opinion, and Care Bear’s.

I have to make this quick, the yeast and flour upstairs are calling to me….

My mom just pointed out to me, that Scott will be going home early tonight, because he’s driving his parents up here. Which is also the reason he can’t come to my ward this week. 🙁 *sighs* Well– there’s always next week, right?

Which reminds me again, I have like fifty million things to do– so i better go.

Derringer Meryl [The Fun Never Stops, even when you want it to] Out

I know, i seem to be on a crazy “Everything i eat sleep and breathe is Wedding/Scott!” thing in my posts– but honestly, it is. If you’re sickened– I suggest not reading (watches as her counter stops going up….) i’m planning a wedding. I’m going to be smooshie to get me through the blasted stress.

and dang it– I enjoy being smooshie. And I have Bridesmaids patterns, so there.

The skirt:

is pretty much decided on. You really get no imput. Sorry. It’s a very nice skirt though. If you want to see a better picture of it, go to http://www.kwiksew.com/ and look at the patterns, enter in 3108 as the pattern number, and you can read more about it. We’re going with style B. That’s what i wear, and I love it. Comfortable skirt. This skirt convinced me that it’s not so bad being a girl. *waves her hands around like a loon* I attribute it to my cuteness. Or at least part of it. This is the pattern of skirt i almost always wear. They’re comfy and can be re-worn. I’m looking to make it in the stylish black. Light fabric, possibly patterned.

Now, picking a top is harder. I wanted some Bridesmaid-y imput (and Maid of honor, she’ll be stuck in one of these too!) I want you guys to be comfortable. 😉 As much as possible.

Number one is a blue top.

I want the top to be pretty free flowing– that way it can sort of match what i’m wearing. Open sleeves, very comfortable. and airy, since it’s going to be June, you’ll be greatful– unless you’re cold blooded. I don’t remember where I found this one. I have all the patterns written down, just ask and I’m sure I can track it down. 😀

Same thing with number two Fairly free flowing.

Billowy sleeves. Also, I realize that some of these patterns dip fairly low (dang fashion) but since we’re making them (we, meaning me and the mouse in my pocket— and whoever else is willing to help. More than likely my mom) can adjust things like that. Huzzah for us! I was thinking the top would be red– depending on what the bottom of the Skirt had as a pattern.

A little different.

More Bohemian. I like it. Tell me what you think.

Swag Top.

That’s sorta the kind I wore for my bro and sister-in-law’s wedding. Swag. It has it’s downsides, I’ll admit. But it keeps the breeze going.

The original

This is the one i fell in love with first. (using the term lightly, because I couldn’t possibly love this shirt as much as I love Scott…. :D) it’s got the free flowing sleeves (again) and the material is light and open.

Okay. That’s all I have right now. I’m a little tired. I need to go work on the sewing machine with my mom, and see if we can get it put back together. Dang monkey head. Fell apart.

Derringer Meryl [COMMENT!!] Out

Because i’m a freak, geek, obsessive, odd and so on (none of which are bad… just different) i’ve been looking at headdresses ah-lah Lord of the Rings to go with my Lord of the rings styled wedding dress.

I figure– Sure, I’ll probably only wear it once, but what a great thing to start off as a heirloom! *smirks*

Right. So Since i have a comment feed back thing now– you can tell me which one you like, and how lame and stupid you think I am for wanting to do this.

First is at the bottom of the page. So look there.

Second are a lot more simple than the first. A lot less expensive, but i’m not sure that they’re what i’m looking for.

I’ve looked around and found some pretty ones that just… don’t fit the dress quite the way I want my outfit to look. I’m getting more of a train on my dress than not because my sister-in-law (who designed the dress) did the paper test (to see if it was white enough) found that the dress wasn’t as white as she had hoped. Which means that I’ll be getting a dress to wear in the temple in addition to this one. 🙂

In anycase, that means i get a long flowing gown like I always wanted. 🙂 Huzzah. And it’s LoTR friendly too. I’m thinking about going out to this store down on 90th and buying three evenstars. I think it’d be a great Bridesmaid gift. Even if they don’t like it, they’ll have something pretty, right?

Right?

Derringer Meryl [Trying not to clench my teeth] Out