Undone

I am the oldest continuous blog in my family now since the Specialist stopped blogging. Whoo. Been doing it since 2001 and I don’t see me stopping any time soon.  Mostly because I may not get much feed back from people but I enjoy writing and listening to myself “talk” which is why I do blog.

I have been trying to write in a personal journal too, which makes things hard. I started medication January 14 (wahoo) and have been trying to use my personal journal to monitor if it’s actually working. I feel like it is. Which feels good, but on the other hand it feels weird. I sometimes feel like I am still VERY anxious about things, however the rhyme and reason of it has been removed… for example, i think of it like a math equation 3+4=7 (obviously) however it’s harder to understand what’s going on when you just put 3 4 7 without any indicators of what’s going on. I suppose if you had one more number in there it could make a pattern… maybe 3 4 7 11… But I’m getting off topic here…. without the mathematical symbols to tell you what the numbers are doing, they become nonsensical. like my brain trying to be anxious on drugs….

Our disneyland vacation starts in 14 days, i am ecstatic.

also as of tuesday, Scott and i will have known each other 6 years! Amazing! i would say it seems like just yesterday, but it doesn’t. It feels like a lifetime ago. It’s also the same day that Dave passed away 5 years ago. it feels surreal.

Derringer Meryl [living backwards] out