Undone

Why I’m NOT The nicest person ever

(That is to say, a quickie top ten…)

10- I’m moody– and If you come within my bubble of space, i’ll kill you.

9- Because only a small fraction of this world has people who i’d potentially become friendly with, and you’re not one of the chosen.

8- Cause if enough money came along, i’d sell my family to the Circus.

7- Because I’d cut your tongue out for a Klondike Bar. Honest.

6- Because every moment of my life i’m playing “Anywhere but here.”

5- I throw violent tantrums like a three year old. Yes. I Do bite. Often and Hard.

4- I like Bunnies, just because i pray one will bite all of the annoying people’s heads off.

3- I flip people off British housewife style….. all the time

2- I wear black to weddings.

And the number one reason why i’m not the nicest person ever IS…..

1- No matter what i do for you, or when, I expect a DAMN good payment back. And I demand interest, or i’ll pull your hair out. *leers*

— So honestly, i’m not a person to be feared. I’m not the nicest person either. I pitch fits, I have the mouth of a sailor (I’m trying to be better about that…honest) and i have mood swings like a pregnant woman…. So yeah. I’m not Hitler by any means, but i’m no suzy sunshine either…. 🙂

Derringer Meryl [Just a gunslingin’ girl] Out

Okay, so apparently somewhere in the mix, i’ve become some sort of crazy scary fruit. I don’t know, maybe i’m one of those really prickly fruits that hurt when you touch them– i don’t know. But I’m here right now to clear a few things up, with my own top ten list….. entitled Top Ten Reasons I’m Not Really THAT Scary

10- I make brownies. And they aren’t laced, with anything. And I tend to give them to people when they’re hot… um, the brownies that is.

9- I can’t lie. Ever. I can act like i’m lying, but five seconds later…. i’ll tell you the truth. Unless you’re a jerk…. then i’ll just keep lying to you. But you’ll be able to tell, cause i really do suck at it.

8- i’m transparent. I wear my heart and my brain on opposing sleeves and if you can’t see how i’m feeling ALL The time, you’re just not looking hard enough.

7- I used to sing in the church choir. What is LESS threatening than a Church Choir girl? I don’t know what?

6- I am too much of a klutz to hurt anyone but myself, if you don’t believe me, ask anyone who has seen me after a few packets of sugar, or me in platforms, or even better, BOTH!

5- I have a doll/toy collection to rival Toys R Us. I’m literally a big kid. Literally.

4- I’m self sacrificing. If my Friends/Family needed something, I would do what ever I could to get it. You might find that threatening, but maybe it’s because you’re the thing between me and their happiness.

3- I faint at the sight of any blood that isn’t mine. Me no like-y blood. Uhh– Well, in a fight. I don’t like fighting and blood to go hand in hand. that’s bad.

2- I punch like a kitten. Seriously. Slapping on the other hand……

(And the Number one reason i’m not THAT Scary is……………..)

1- I sleep with a doll named Miss. Edith. Really. Her hair is red, and she’s wearing Green Clothes. *narrows eyes* and if you tell anyone, your mother will weep at the horrible sight of your maimed and mangled body.

Cheers!

Derringer Meryl [I try to be good] Out