Aug
18
2009
--

Painfully Poignant

Will you think of me,
in time?
It’s never my luck,
So never mind.
I wanna say your name,
But the pain starts
again,
It’s never my luck,
So never mind.

Chorus:
And I had a dream that you were with me ,
it wasn’t my fault,
you rolled me over,
flipped me over,
like a somersault.
And that doesn’t happen to me
I’ve never been here before
I saw forever in my never,
And i stood outside her
Heaven.

Will you wait for me,
In time,
It’s never my luck,
So never mind.
And yeah
i lost a lot of what i
don’t expect to ever return
I tend to push em ’till the pushing’s turned from
hurtin’ to burn,
I always take them to that place i thought they wanted
to go,
but end up dancing ’round
this clown commands,
applause at a show…

Chorus:
I had a dream that you were with me ,
it wasn’t my fault,
you rolled me over,
flipped me over,
a somersault.
And that doesn’t happen to me
I’ve never been here before
I saw forever in my never,
And i stood outside her
Heaven
her heaven,
heaven, heaven

And i could only dream of you and sleep,
but i won’t ever see sunlight again,
i can try to be with you , but somehow I’ll end up just losing a friend,
i can only reach for you
relate to you,
I’m losing my friend…
Where did she go?
where?

Chorus:
I had a dream that you were with me ,
it wasn’t my fault,
you rolled me over,
flipped me over,
like a somersault.
that doesn’t happen to me
I’ve never been here before
I saw forever in my never,
And i stood outside her
Heaven
I stood outside her heaven
Let me in your heaven
I wanna live inside your heaven

The song is beautiful on so many levels. I find that the part that I find myself relating to again and again… is “i can try to be with you , but somehow I’ll end up just losing a friend/i can only reach for you / relate to you/I’m losing my friend…” Sometimes when you love someone (no matter what type of love it maybe) you want to reach for them, to draw them close, to make up for stupid mistakes, to have what you once had… and every time you try to pull them close they struggle further away. The lyric echos deep inside of my heart, an empty place that no one can ever fill.

As you can see I have updated my blog layout. I can’t seem to get away from twilight, so you probably shouldn’t count on it happening any time soon. If you haven’t listened to much Blue October, I highly encourage it. The singer, Justin Furstenfeld has bipolar disorder… i find his lyrics beautiful and remarkable. His singing is passionate and amazing. The honesty of his lyrics seem to strip any pretense one might have about depression, heartache, and love. I could listen to his music all day. It seems to calm me. The truth that sets you free.

Things have been progressing with Ms. Gigi well, she is chubbing up well, and Katie is doing her best to cope with being a sister. It’s tough not having all of mom and dad’s attention, but I think she still gets her fair amount. I am not thrilled at the idea of returning to work, but it’s work, so why would it be thrilling? 😉 Life is good.

Derringer Meryl [off to feed a baby] Out

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