Probably. Maybe. I don’t know.

Scott says it’s fine if I leave early from His Best Friend’s wedding reception…

I have a confession. (Scott doesn’t read on here much anymore, so i should be safe from having to talk about this again…) I have a problem. It’s a generic problem that a lot of girls have (no it’s not a eating disorder, i’m not pulling a Mary Kate) it’s more of a continuing dissatisfaction within myself, of myself. (however i could correctly say that on the whole, I usually dispise what i do, and how i look, and i’m constantly comparing myself to others.) I look to others on how to behave in most situations…. which i think can be a useful attribute. In a restaurant and you aren’s sure how to properly eat a dish, you just look around, and see how everyone else is eating. It makes sense to me.

I have to agree with The Specialist. I too have a fear of people looking at me. I wonder what they’re thinking. How they’re judging me. Usually I’m pretty good about not caring what other people think about what i’m doing (in a judgemental manner) like when i’m shopping. i could pick up the whackiest stuff and put it in my basket… and not care what the lady who is ringing me up is thinking. *sighs*

That just reminded me that I should look through the want ads for a job. *sighs* I love GS. I just want to make enough money to live in a nice apartment. I want to not stress from month to month and paycheck to paycheck. I’m fairly sure that’s just how life is, but… I don’t want it to be. I’m fairly picky. I was at the store the other day, and I realized that everyone at Macey’s has to wear Khakis, and i just thought, Ick. I hate Khakis. i pretty much hate uniforms (remembers she wants to Apply at Blockbuster, dispite uniforms, they have good benifits)

Scott and I got a new old couch yesterday. From the DI. So It’s not like we went and blew more money we didnt’ have. It’s a great couch. plenty of cuddle space. It’s much more cooshie than Scott’s old couch. I should do chores…. *sighs* So much to do. And I have work at Five, so that’s extra fun. Scott and I miss seeing each other by an hour or two. *sighs* I need the hours though, and so does he. And I admit, we see each other much more often than when we were dating. It felt like that week off from work he had after the wedding went so fast….

Anyway, work and chores beckon.

Derringer Meryl [Will DM ever update again?] Out

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