Undone

I was reading Ryoko’s new blog (I’m calling her that. She’s Antigone’s sister, Youngest sister) and she was commenting on kissing.

I highly recommend waiting. Very much. I learned that it sorta kills you a little inside to break up with someone you’ve kissed. i mean, I never did it, but I emotionally was torn up with not doing it, so i can’t imagine doing it and then breaking up.

It’d be very odd. Heart breaking.

Not that Scott was the first guy i kissed… well. Okay. He was the first guy *I* kissed, but not the first guy to kiss me. *thinks* that makes sense to me. Another guy sorta stole my first kiss from me. … and i’ve commented on that before, so i’ll just go back to the point. I love the fact that I waited. I think of kissing as a very intimate thing. I’m just that way, hand holding too. I’m just– I subscribe deeply to the “my body is a temple” way of thinking.

and the fact that I usually recoil from human touch, sorta goes with that too. *smiles*

I got my ring last night. It about Killed Scott as I was chatting away with the ring in hand, but I didn’t know it. It was on the stem of a rose *sigh* and Carebear and her sister were there for it, I was all gross in my after work clothes, and my hair hadn’t been done in days– but i felt like a princess.

Anyway– I’ll write more on it later. I should really be a better hostess than I am being. Laters

Derringer Meryl [I have a pretty ring] Out

Warning: If you are a sibling of mine, or otherwise weak of stomach please stay away from the stupidity of this entry. As a disclaimer though, if you enjoy laughing at the innocent-ness of me, please, continue

With that out of the way– I can say this….

I don’t know how to kiss. *blinks* To be honest before Scott I kissed one guy, once. And it sucked. Bunches. We were in the middle of playing a video game, and he just randomly kissed me. *raises her hand to the square* I swear to you this. I figure since I didn’t feel anything (nada, I could have been kissing my grandma for all I felt romantically) I stuck it off as a stolen kiss, and not really my first kiss. In anycase.

People at work laugh at me a lot (Mouth and Artemis) because of my innocence. Yes, it is ridiculous that I didn’t get kissed before i turned 19. (I’m more than a little thankful, actually) I’m sure Scott would say it just makes me cuter, and maybe it does.

All I know, is that I suck. All I’ve learned about kissing I learned on Buffy sixth season and everyone who has played enough Chaos Bleeds knows that Stage kissing is not at ALL like real kissing. It’s all about where your head is, and if you’re in their light, and according to James Marsters, it’s often like kissing your sibling. Definately not what i’m striving for. Nope. Nuh-uh.

So I’m sitting here, I have a cut on my lip, I’m sorta wondering where it came from. I certainly didn’t put it there.

And the thought occurs to me– that I want to remember most everything about tonight forever. I want to remember the silly argument that Scott and I had (it wasn’t really an argument, it was a “You’re cuter”, “no, you’re cuter” kind of thing.) and I want to remember all the wonderful advice he gave me about Red, and how to sort things out. Even now i can feel my brain leaking vital information about tonight into the oblivion of nothingness. I’m a stickler for details. I want to experience a lot, and remember a lot. I want to be able to tell my kids when they’re little about the time I actually beat their dad at magic. All the little jokes he makes.

I wish I could remember it all.

Derringer Meryl [Frustrated with Memories] Out