Sep
11
2012
--

Burned out.

I have been more burned out than I am now, FOR SURE, but I am kind of sick of everything.
Maybe If I were more mature things would be in line better. Maybe If I were more disciplined. I’m SO exhausted. I feel like every day is all running. wake up, run wake katie up, fight her to get dressed, go to work, fight to stay focused and get lots done, then fight home in traffic, fight to get the house clean, fight to get something done, fight the urge to roll into bed until the next day, fight the kids on getting in the bath, then fight them to get out, fight with them on how many stories they get, yes it’s time for bed, yes brush your teeth, yes jammies on, no you don’t get 3 stories, you get one for how much you’ve argued. Go to bed, stop kicking your sister. Once they SEEM to be to sleep I take time for myself while running laundry through.

Send the kids back to bed, then go to bed myself (like at 12-1 in the morning) and start all over.

Oh and don’t forget the calls during the day of “Did you get Katie to school? are you going to pick her up?” call and confirm the dentist, call and schedule the doctor.

 

Remind, remember, remind, remember. I feel like I have a shit-ton (excusez-moi for my french) that I’m doing, all the time. Every day at work is crunch, and HEY why don’t I heap more responsibilities onto what you do, but we won’t be giving you a raise for your increased responsibilities.

 

I do like doing what I’m doing, I just don’t feel like I’m fairly compensated for the time I’m levying into them. I wish I could find those FREAKING books. They’re like $2 books in quality, but I’m sure if we have to pay to replace them, they’ll be $30 each … GOSH.

 

I was talking with my boss the other day and I said I’d love to have copies of myself. One to be at work, one to be at home, and one to goof off (and we’d cycle through which of us got to do what each day), so we could all be balanced. I just… feel like I could use an extra set of hands. Someone to do the laundry while I’m trying to get the kids in bed. One person set on permanent “SEARCH FOR LOST STUFF” mode I guess. *sigh*
Somedays I feel like I’m the only person who cares. i’m one person running the lives of four. I’m exhausted.

 

Derringer Meryl [D-O-N-E] Out

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