Undone

what to do now?

So I found out that I was getting transferred.

If you haven’t understood the problem yet, you’re not living in my head, congratulations.

I can date HIM if I get transferred. He’s getting transferred too. I just wish I was more confident in myself. Then I’d just sorta– do it. Ask him, go out, watch Star Wars (Which I have decided that I”m not going to watch unless I’m on a date)

Maybe I’m foolish. But Like the song says I’m tired of pretending I’m tough. I’m so used to playing the tough girl that I don’t know how to be otherwise, and when i want to be I just end up being rude. Isn’t that special.

I’m so wrapped up in my personal life. Oi. I should be more… less.. I don’t know I should do something differently.

But one has to wonder if something is wrong with oneself if all they seem to attract is the oppisite of what they want in life. Some one that has things in common, talk to, has a great sense of humor…. and various other odds and ends that are for humor only

what you want an example?

I demand that my fiancee propose to me wearing a hello kitty costume.

Odd? It may be- but I find that if someone is devoted to me enough to wear a costume so they look like a cat with an extra large head, then I know they are truly devoted.

Or really sick like me.

I want the person I marry to be enough like me to get along with me, and enough of themselves to keep me guessing.

Someone who doesn’t mind the fact that I say the word “Like” So often it even boggles the Valley girl mind, Someone who doesn’t forbid my lack of vocabulary when i say “and I go, and he goes” instead of the traditional ‘i said this, and johnny said that” It’s so dull. I enjoy my valley girl, punk wanna be, goth edgy girl look. I enjoy how I talk. Yes maybe i say like a little too much, but is that going to kill someone?

I can understand it might be annoying to an English teacher, or someone who has a very heightened awareness of the word like, but is it that big of a deal.

You could look back at my entries and notice I don’t say “Like” in the written word too much, but that’s because when I write I know that someone isn’t listening, maybe reading, but listening is different.

Listening you have to be quirky and fast on the draw, have to say it so quick and humorously that someone will laugh. You tell a joke slow, someone will finish it for you.

Derringer Meryl [I’m a shadowboxer Baby] Out