Undone

I don’t aspire to much now days, I work 40 hours a week, have a loving husband and a beautiful daughter– and a new baby on the way!

But I dream of a day that I can review video games for parents. I realize that this seems silly, there are lots of game review sites out there, I would say A LOT. But once upon a time i wrote a feminist review of Legend of Zelda Wind Waker, and have loved writing introspective pieces about video games as a woman ever since. Now as a mom, and as a former gaming associate I am aware of how blissfully unaware most parents are. Some parents just don’t care about what their kids play and others really read and review and scrutinize games.

I want to help those parents. If I were to “dream big” i would quit my job, mommy full time and play video games all the time to support us by selling my reviews to a magazine. HAHAHA! yeah, that’s dreaming big. Once upon a time it was my goal to work at GS for 7 years and intern at GI as a writer. HAHAHAHA! To be honest, I did work for GS for about 6 years and really while it’d be awesome to write for a magazine and work from a cozy office in my house with slippers on– I realize it’s MUCH more of a pipe dream than I know. I need to play more games. However the circle of life is this:

fun stuff takes money
serious stuff takes money
serious stuff is more important than fun stuff.
there is no money for fun stuff

which is sad, I remember the days of playing games on my Xbox and having a really GREAT time with it, and on my game cube, and even more recently my Wii and 360 (ahh I miss you 360, at least I know you have a good home!) I wish that we were rich and could have all the awesome stuff in the world… but instead– I have an awesome house, an awesome husband, and a super sweet and awesome daughter. I wouldn’t give them up for any amount of 360’s and I have to say I certainly wouldn’t get myself into debt for one. Sorry, but no.

that’s my dream though. I imagine days of waking up and fixing breakfast, playing a few hours of games, taking notes, playing with  my kids, gardening, cooking lunch, doing dishes, more games, more notes, playing some with my kids, discussing the game and it’s aspects, letting them play for a bit to watch how they handle it… whoo. Dinner, hang out, bed for kidlets and typing up my notes and writing a witty and insightful article for a gaming magazine. Or a parent’s magazine! Either one!

In all of that all I would change about my life (not my house not my kids, not my husband, nada) I would only change my life to  my dream job. I miss writing. I miss gaming. 🙁

Derringer Meryl [le sigh] Out