Undone

Day Sucks. Life sucks. stuff sucks. *sighs* i’m going to be a big girl, and pick myself up, and move on. I don’t have time to waste on this. I don’t have a life to waste on this. I can’t spend my life loving him, when there are so many others, so willing…

so ready..? and I don’t know what his obsession with picking girls who are in serious relationships. I dont’ know why he can’t love me– why it can’t be something special– why life has to turn this way. But i’m sure that someone else who knows more than me– knows that we can’t be together, and is doing this to keep it right. *frowns* This has to be right. I have to put all my faith in the fact that this is right,

so much in my life is changing now. My Job, my heart. I can’t …

i can’t bear to watch, to go, to move. and it hurts. physically. Change hurts me physically. My legs hurt, and my head hurts. and i jsut want to die inside.

So lyric spew. Think Twice, Eve6

When all is said and done

And dead does he love you

The way that I do

Beathing in lighting

Tonight’s fighting

I feel the hurt so physical

Think twice before you touch my girl

Come around I’ll let you feel the burn

Think twice before you touch my girl

Come around come around no more

Think twice before you touch my girl

Come around I’ll let you feel the burn

Think twice before you touch my girl

Come around no more

She spreads her love

She burns me up

I can’t let go

I can’t get out

I’ve said enough

Enough by now

I can’t let go

I can’t get out

Wait till the day you finally see

I’ve been here waiting patiently

Crossing my fingers and my t’s

She cried on my shoulder begging please

Think twice before you touch my girl

Come around I’ll let you feel the burn

Think twice before you touch my girl

Come around come around no more

Think twice before you touch my girl

Come around I’ll let you feel the burn

Think twice before you touch my girl

Come around no more

She spreads her love

She burns me up

I can’t let go

I can’t get out

I’ve said enough

Enough by now

I can’t let go

I can’t get out

What is it you really want

I’m tired of asking

You come wasted

When I showed up and he was there

I tried my best to grin and bear

And took the stairs but didn’t stop at the street

And as we speak I’m going down

Cause she spread her love

And burnt me up

I can’t let go

I can’t get out

I’ve said enough

Enough by now

I can’t let go

I can’t get out

Think twice before you touch my girl

Come around I’ll let you feel the burn

Think twice before you touch my girl

Come around come around no more

Think twice before you touch my girl

Come around I’ll let you feel the burn

Think twice before you touch my girl

Come around no more

Derringer Meryl [thinking fifty times] Out

Uh-Oh. He likes Gershwin. He likes old type music, like Tony Bennett and Old Blue Eyes. *smiles*

Oh Yeah, I’m talking about Gert. He’s so …. different. I don’t know if it’s swoon worthy, like, if i should be breath-taken, or how i feel entirely…. but i know i like to spend time with him. He’s fun, and he makes me laugh. I love to laugh. It’s my favorite pastime. Hee hee.

So I sacked the Orlando Idea, obviously. sure, I find him delicious, but… *sighs* It was just too dark, and clutter-y. I think I like this one better. Except, the stupid column on the side, it’s being stupid. Damn. Oh Well. Cant’ have the little site being perfect after only a few hours of trying, right?

Of course not. Oh, BTW sorry if any of this isn’t making sense, i’ve apparently picked up the habit of beginning one word, and ending with a completely different one. Go me.

I’m tired. I ran myself ragged today. Very very ragged. *sighs* I went to see Marco at work (I’m hoping to get a job there….) I went to school (I was a little late… hee hee.) I went to work to sub for friendjamin (he’s so sick, poor guy), then I went to Relief Society (Oh, that was a barrel of laughs) Then I came home and took the brownies that had been cooking while i was at Relief society over to the guys at work. Gert and Monkey….

I tried to be a good girl. Really. *smiles innocently* Gert called me Michelle (he got my name wrong, just like my ex. Jerk. *sighs*) and then Monkey double does it with the spelling my name WRONG.

I know it sounds… stupid, but i was on the verge of tears, i’m not even joking. Shame on me.

Anyway. I’m going to go to bed. That’s actually where I should be anyway. I’m just so tired of this day.

Derringer Meryl [i’m sick of being pushed around] Out

Okay, I just did a lyric Spew, but I found this song (I must have mass downloaded) on my computer. I think it wraps things up … *smirks* nicely.

You Don’t Mean Anything, Simple Plan

Maybe I’m just not good enough for you

And maybe I just don’t wanna be like you

And maybe I just don’t wanna know

How low you’re ready to go

I’m not gonna change

You can’t make me

You don’t mean anything to me

You’re what I never want to be

Tell me does it feel good to be like you

Tell me why should I waste my time with you

‘Cuz maybe you always bring me down

I’m sick of being pushed around

I’m not gonna change

You can’t make me

I know you think you know me

You don’t know anything

I know you want to help me

I don’t need anything

Don’t tell me where to go

I don’t need you to know

I admit, it was mainly… my dad’s fault. And Mine, for telling monkey about things, but God. . . . Anyone who has heard my dad talk for ages about something, can understand why i wanted to warn him–

we are a deadly combination– and he ran, like he should have. Good on ya. Too bad you took my heart with ya!

So I gave Monkey his sunglasses back, like a good little girl. *raises her arm to a square and smiles happily* I swear.

I don’t know why i didn’t give him the picture. I should have. But I guess I want that to be more of a… not at work thing. It’s just a matter of catching him long enough to give it to him.

he’s just always so busy.

I played air hockey with my brother and screwed up my pinky finger right nicely. It’s all bruised, and partially swollen…. it’s really rather disgusting. *shrugs* I need to do laundry, because it’s just… oi, i’m running out of normal everyday clothes to wear.

heh.

I was watching gilmore girls and thinking about Monkey and I. Or whatever the hell you want to say, which ever sounds better. I was thinking about my deal with Monkey, which I’m fairly sure he’s unaware of, because deep down, it’s my own deal, with all men of any nature. *sighs* But Lorelai is trying to play it cool with her daughter’s teacher, Max, whom she’s kissed. (He’s affectionately known as Wolf around our house because… well… he starred as Wolf in “The Tenth Kingdom”) He acts so odd about it. He won’t get near her, physically. He says that when they’re close bad things happen… and Lorelai is telling her friend Suki about how she would know how to act if she could just ask Max what he was thinking.

God, Is she so right. I would know how to act, around EVERYONE, if i just knew what they were thinking. Not everyone in this state is so open with their thoughts.

Heh. Heck, when it comes to expressing themselves, Red and I are pioneers.

Oh, I guess it’s time for the Lyric Spew for tonight, right? It’s When I’m with you, Simple Plan DOnt’ be surprised if a lot of lyric spews come from them or Chicago. I’m in love with the two albums. HA! 😀

Taking my time

I’m trying to leave the memories of you behind

I’m gonna be fine

As soon as I get your picture right out of my mind

[CHORUS]

I wanna feel the way you make me feel when I’m with you

I wanna be the only hand, you need to hold on to

But everytime I call you don’t have time

I guess I’ll never get to call you mine

For nothing at all, I know theres a million reasons

why I shouldn’t call

With nothing to say, could easily make this

conversation last all day

I wanna feel the way you make me feel when I’m with you

I wanna be the only hand, you need to hold on to

But everytime I call you don’t have time

I guess I’ll never get to call you mine

Another lesson I didn’t get to learn

Your my obsession

I’ve got nowhere to turn

I wanna feel the way you make me feel when I’m with you

I wanna be the only hand, you need to hold on to

But everytime I call you don’t have time

I guess I’ll never get to call you mine

I wanna feel the way you make me feel when I’m with you

I wanna be the only hand, you need to hold on to

But everytime I call you don’t have time

I guess I’ll never get to call you mine

Derringer Meryl [my pinky hurts bad] Out